Come inside the magical world of Dylan Kassman's Children's Plays! The first volume in Dylan Kassman's Children's Plays Collection, which include:The Medicine That Went Wrong!The Traveller's Apprentice"There is always a lesson to be learnt in my stories and plays, both for children and adults alike!" - Dylan Kassman
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Cast of Characters:
Michael Cousins: Main Character
Dr. James Vincent: Doctor
Assistant Zachary: The Assistant to Dr. James Vincent
Jeremy Kyle: TV Presenter
Granny Cousins: Grandma to Michael Cousins and mother to Harry Cousins
Harry Cousins: Father to Michael Cousins
Millicent Cousins: Mother to Michael Cousins
Officer Don. Nut: Head Officer
Judge Jenny: The Judge
Extras incl. Narrator
Scene opens with a spotlight in the middle and a narrator enters the scene
Narrator: This is a story, about a man, not a normal man, but a man who suffers with depression. His name is Michael Cousins.
Another spotlight focuses on another character. Michael Cousins enters the scene, all depressed. Then spotlight blacks out
Narrator: One day, he comes back from a hard day of work, just a few meters away from his computer. (Talks to audience) “He works at home, I know strange right?” And we are going to see a sudden change in his life. A story of comedy and sadness, this is the story of “The Medicine That Went Wrong”
Sound effect of a door opening, Michael enters the scene, all depressed, he then sits down on his couch and turns on the television
Michael: I’m bored… I wonder what is on television
Michael flips through the channels; he then stumbles on a kid’s channel. Michael looks at it…
Michael: Is this what kid’s watch nowadays!?! They’re boring; these kids must be really depressed (Talks to audience) “Not like me, right?”
Michael flips through some more channels and stumbles on a local channel; he seems very interested to the program, the spotlight that is focusing on Michael fades to a certain extent. Then a spotlight fades in on the presenter and guest on the other side of the stage. Sound effect of a TV Show opening and an audience clapping, the presenter Jeremy Kyle enters waving to the audience
Jeremy Kyle: Hello and welcome to this program that anyone hardly watches on TV, The Discussion Show on BCB One, today we are going to have something VERY interesting that no one really cares about, but first, let us go to some news that people actually give a damn about! Lady Baba releases her new strange album that has a very strange name and that I don’t care about! (Sound effect of audience clapping and laughing), very interesting (Talks to audience) “Not!”, and a new movie about a man that gets trapped in space and needs to go back to earth to warn MASA that these space missions never work, the movie is called “Non-Gravity”, the presentation will be coming out soon to cinemas in glorious 3D! But the company was not bothered to give us a release date! (Sound effect of audience clapping and laughing) And now, to the boring stuff. But first, let us welcome our guest for this discussion, Dr. James Vincent
Dr. James Vincent enters with his assistant, sound effect plays of the audience clapping, Dr. Vincent waves to the audience and sits down near Jeremy Kyle, the assistant sits next to Dr. Vincent
Jeremy Kyle: Hello Dr. … (Looks at notes)
Dr. James Vincent: Dr. James…
Jeremy Kyle: I know what your name is! (Looks to audience and laughs awkwardly) So… Dr. Vincent. We have some VERY interesting news from the medicinal side of life. Care to explain (quietly: “before I die of boredom”)
Dr. James Vincent: Uh, yes… My partner and I and my company Phleer Pharmaceuticals are creating…
Jeremy Kyle: JUST GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT! (Sound effect plays of a cricket (to symbolize silence) he then looks to audience and laughs awkwardly, coughs)
Dr. James Vincent: As I was saying, we have created a medicine that has never been done before, this medicine helps people that suffer with depression to make them more happy and joyful and look to the bright side of life. It is fully functional and legal and the people who we tested it on say that it is a great medicine
Assistant Zachary: (to Dr. James Vincent) But we haven’t tested it on anyone yet
Dr. Vincent stamps on the assistants foot, Jeremy Kyle who has fallen asleep without anyone noticing wakes up with the noise and looks at Dr. Vincent
Dr. James Vincent: Uh… muscle twitches
Assistant Zachary: WHAT!?!
Dr. Vincent stamps on the assistants foot again
Jeremy Kyle: He’s very jumpy isn’t he?
Dr. James Vincent: Yes… he is (looks at the assistant devilishly)
Jeremy Kyle: Well, this thing you are announcing to the public… is there something free or anything good? Because if not, you literally wasted your time coming on my show because people don’t want to waste their money for some medicine
Dr. James Vincent: Of course! Our medicine is being offered for free for a couple of days, but only for people who suffer with depression. All they need to do is to come to our offices, book an appointment to see me or my assistant and we will give him or her the medicine. Obviously we cannot just provide the medicine because the Health Department will behind our backsides (he laughs awkwardly, Sound effect plays of a cricket (to symbolize silence) and then he coughs)
Jeremy Kyle: Anything else? (Quietly: “before we all die of boredom”)
Dr. James Vincent: Well yes
Jeremy Kyle: Oh no
Dr. James Vincent: If there are any people who have questions or wish to book an appointment via the telephone can contact our offices on 100-MEDICINE-IS-GOOD and we will be happy to help
Jeremy Kyle: Oh, you’re finished? FANTASTIC, well thank you all very much for watching this FANTASTIC show, don’t forget to like us on Handbook and coming up next on BCB One, The Strongest Link, thank you very much ladies and gentlemen!
Sound effect of a TV Show closing and an audience clapping, the presenter Jeremy Kyle, Dr. Vincent and assistant exit waving to the audience. The spotlight that focuses on the TV show fades out and the spotlight that focuses on Michael fades in, Michael is fascinated. Lost in his train of thought, he regains thought and decides to call the company
Scene opens, we hear Dr. Vincent shouting backstage, the assistant gets pushed in
Dr. James Vincent: ARE YOU THAT STUPID?
Assistant Zachary: What!?!
Dr. James Vincent: Going out like that and saying we didn’t try it out on people
Assistant Zachary: But we haven’t, we haven’t tested it on anyone!
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