Who Was The Enemy? - Mumin Godwin - darmowy ebook

Who Was The Enemy? ebook

Mumin Godwin

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Opis

I used to belive that I had many enemies, but I have come to realize that the (inner me) or enemy was I all along. As a narcissist, I refused to look at my reflection, I was too proud and filled with self-importance. After a few months of practicing Buddhism, I began to see my flaws and imperfections. I was surprised by how selfish and self-centered I was towards others. I began to see that other's feelings matter, only because I was able to face my own feelings. I began to see that the world does not revolve around me and that everyone is important no matter how I personally felt. I realized that I am not perfect but I can be my best. I now see that it was never about changing my personality, we can only improve ourselves. I first had to accept that I am a narcissist and that will never change, this took unconditional love. The only thing I can do is be compassionate to myself and then share it with others.

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Mumin Goodwin

Who Was The Enemy?

A Deep Look Within

BookRix GmbH & Co. KG80331 Munich

About Me

About Me

Born June 13, 1981Trinidad and Tobago

 

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp

Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw

 

 

 

My writings are a collection of my thoughts based on my spiritual journey going inwards. This is my point of view, maybe from a narcissist’s point of view, a lone wolf or perhaps a unique conscious mind. Yet...I don't have all of the answers because the truth is our own.

 

I was dealing with immigration issues so I ended up homeless in 2011. I spent 5 years homeless in Florida with my wife and child. I forced myself to keep doing yoga, tia chi, Wing Chun, chakra healing and later Kundalini yoga to make sure that I stayed Conscious during this hard period. I knew that if I let my homeless experience get to me, I would die or fall asleep and lose my higher awareness.

 

I now realized that All I wanted was a closer relationship with God. As I began to study myself going inwards, I realized that worry, holding on to my past and attempting to control things were affecting my behavior. I then realized that everything that happened in my past human experiences was supposed to happen, for learning about my behavior so that I could forgive myself and others to evolve in Love.

 

By letting go I began to recognize the voice of my soul, vs. my sporadic ego, combined with my scattered mind. I also began to see and slowly understand the universe within while growing in divine love. Working on my Chakras helped me experience Self Knowing and a Spiritual Awakening. Accepting that I am a narcissist helped me forgive myself. The attempt to change my personality profile to feel perfect was my worst mistake.

 

I later realized that I am no different than or exclusive to others, I once thought that I was special. I was the average guy living my life based on what I learned from the outside. I went to public school; I skipped some classes in high school, I only enjoyed writing. I felt like the school system was a boring temporary prison, the program felt to fixed for my taste, not enough personal depth.

 

I felt like a lost person with no direction because the school didn’t have spiritual or knowledge of self classes. I lived my life going through the motions, avoiding my true feelings because I was trying to be perfect. I was numbing myself, acting out of thoughts then emotions instead of feeling then emotions. I admit that I was not being aware of my spirit, and my psychology. I never thought that I was going to do anything exceptional either.

 

My spiritual journey, going within and then coming out. This awakening allowed me to see what was happening in my psyche, then seeing the correspondence in my experiences within my created reality. I have been fighting with abandonment issues for years. My journey within put me through many healing experiences with my chakras, such as working with sound and colors and intense visualization. I did a lot of crying as I let go of my past and let go of false pride.

 

I was a black sheep of my family, but thankfully working on healing allowed me to forgive myself and others so that I would be left with no anger or regrets. No one is a black sheep, we must learn to validate our own selves. I was solely aiming for self-liberation so that I could concentrate on what I wanted to do with my life. My past experiences left me with regrets, guilt shame and grief. I was in hell now to think of it. I don’t know how I manage to survive my chaotic life, my spiritual retreat within turned things around for me in early 2011.

 

My birth name was Abdul Mumin Muhammad, well until I got married. Long story short I was born in Trinidad, It's an island located in the Caribbean. As a child I remember playing by myself, it was fun because I liked playing with nature.

 

As a child, I chased bugs and caught frogs and various nature like activities. I see now why I still love nature, this is where I spend my solitude. I do remember a few associates that I played with from time to time. I only remember one close friend, but he moved away. As you can see I was a loner, I did not fit in school. I learned that I was never supposed to fit in, fit into what? Seeking approval is an illusion; I stopped caring about being liked and the insecure need for attention and approval. Through my journey within I had to work on my self-esteem and confidence. This was my only way to experience God within.

 

I remember my father playing with me outside, he would even put me on his motorbike. We drove through the bushes, we used to eat sugar canes, and he showed me a lot of cool island tricks. According to my knowledge at a younger age, my mother was a housewife; she stayed home cooked and kept the house clean, I guess this was pretty normal for the Muslim islanders. But I am not sure.

 

All I remember was her watching soap opera while she was cooking; this was pretty much every day. I moved to the US around 6 years old, I lived in NY and then moved to D.C. I traveled and moved a lot between NY and D.C. I also remember living in New Jersey, Baltimore, and Philly for a little while. Traveling too much as a child is where my reason for my insecurities. 

 

 Focusing on healing from spiritual means put me back to my origins, the person who I was born to be. After this experience, I never looked back. Who said that the past was important, it’s only useful to learn lessons so that we keep moving forward. Peace, and bless you all.

 

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp

Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw

 

Judging and Criticizing

By Mumin Godwin

 

Judging And Criticizing

My Internal Enemy

 

I occasionally speak about bliss, and how to achieve heaven within while on earth. Heaven is a state of being; it has nothing to do with what we have. When I was in conflict with others, it was because I was still in conflict with myself. The spiritual war or the battle of good and evil is only happening within each individual, not out there. Once we master the ability to cease criticizing and judging our own self, then we will stop attracting chaos with others. My need to have power over others or some sort of authority had to stop, I began to see others as my equal. 

I realized the moment I judged or criticized another person’s personality, they became my external enemy. Deep down inside I felt more good, better and higher than that person. This caused my vibes to change when I was around that person. The other person felt my pride or vanity and responded. Once I accepted that I was not perfect and accepted the other person as they are, then there were no issues. All along the enemy was my own self-judgment. 

Working on my solar plexus showed me how critical I was towards others; it also revealed that I was criticizing my personality which was the only reason why I was critical towards others. I had shame which blocks the solar plexus, I had a strong need to feel good about my image. Working on my heart chakra revealed to me how judgmental I was towards others, it also showed me how I was  judging myself which is why I was judging others. Can I just be me without all the drama? I no longer live in karma, I am now experiencing Dharma through self realization.  

Observing without judgment was a habit that I just could not seem to do. As soon as someone walks into a room full of eyes, the mind starts looking and analyzing their appearance, clothes, shoes, hair and face. The brain starts to find a way to put what it sees into a category, this is ego, separation. Another reason why I judged or criticized others was because I constantly judge myself. 

I became conscious of my thoughts while healing my solar plexus, then later conscientious through heart chakra work.