Sean knows Ash from all his life. For him, he has benn always the ”little brother” of his best friend until, one morning, when he finds him in bed and he must stop denying himself the attraction between them. Love, however, is likely to arrive at the wrong time because Sean thinks only about one thing: together with its ”Shadows” and an unexpected ally, chasing revenge for the murder of their own and their parents.
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I woke up with a terrible headache. Not that it was a surprise remembering how much I drank the night before but that week was a living hell under every point of view. I rubbed my eyes and the remembrance of the erotic dream that I had, filled my mind, as if the headache was not enough.
Damn it, not even get drunk worked anymore!
That brat continued to fill my thoughts and there was nothing I could do to free myself from him.
I turned to the side to sink the face on the pillow and try to sleep a little more, but suddenly I was much more than awake.
Shit, what the fuck did I do?
Asher slept quiet beside me and he was completely naked. The sheet was twisted around his legs, leaving completely discovered the rest of his body. As well as my own.
Shit, shit, shit! I stood up trying to make less noise as possible. Before wake him I needed to remember what the hell happened and certainly I would not be able to focus with him naked beside me. But since it was a week full of shit, it was in the natural order of things that, just standing up, I stumbled into a couple of Dr. Martens.
«But what the fuck..!»
I heard him giggling and I turned toward the bed. Asher had pilled the sheet up and he was leaning against the headboard.
«What the fuck are you laughing at?» I was pissed.
« Are you always in such a good mood in the morning?» he answered me.
«Ash listen! I will be very honest! I have no idea why we are in bed together, naked on top of that, but I think it's better if you go back to your home. And shouldn't you be at school? It's Thursday! On Thursday did not boys go to school?»
«The school is finished, Sean, we are at the end of June. So do not you remember anything?»
«We did not do anything, right?»
Asher raised an eyebrow and he looked at me almost amused.
«Well, it depends on your point of view. If for you the fact to fuck me is nothing, then we have not done anything.»
I stood staring open-mouthed while silently I thought how idiot I could be. Cameron would rip my balls.
«We fucked? Christ... it is not possible!»
«Sean, I'm naked, you are naked, what did you think we did, played cards?»
«You are not funny brat, they could put me in jail for that! You are seventeen!»
«Sean, I'm eighteen years old now. Yesterday was my birthday, do you remember? Anyway, they could put you in jail for a lot of reasons, but not for this. You know, right now it sounds that you are not the cold hard chief of the Red Shadows. You stay still, completely naked, looking at me like an idiot. You do not have the bad-boy attitude!»
I do not even answer him and I went to the bathroom. I needed a shower to clear out my mind. Then I would deal with that damn kid I wanted as a thirstily want water.
While the hot water slid over me, I tried to remember what had happened the night before. I remembered having spent the evening with the Reds, it was a quiet thing. No theft, no shooting, no idiot drug dealer who defied the odds and came to peddle his shit in our neighbourhood, no dead. Everything was ok. Cameron was out of town and he had asked me to look after his brother Asher. Well, apparently I had done much more than just a look.
I remembered perfectly the hot dream I had about me and Ash, it probably was not a dream but reality. Shit, I could not have been such an idiot. I had tried everything to put Asher out of my head, I fucked other men and even women, but the damn kid was always there making fun of me. I had hoped that stun me with alcohol would have distracted me just enough to make me collapse into a dreamless sleep, but my hangover only got me into a bigger mess.
How the hell was I going to explain it to Cameron?
I let the hot water wash away thoughts at least for a few minutes and I concentrated only on Ash. Finding him next to me, naked, had seriously put me to test my self-control. The amazement was, fortunately, bigger than the desire I had of him for a few weeks, but I had had to move quickly to avoid to stretch my hands to his body. His golden skin was a temptation every fucking time.
I sat with my hands on the tiles of the shower and looked at my dick getting hard while Ash’s naked pictures on top of me bouncing in my head. The confusion about what really happened and what I had only dreamed about it made me feel frustrated and nervous. I sent myself to hell knowing that the only way to calm down and regain some of lucidity, would have been to jerk off, because, at that time, my cock seemed to be much stronger than my brain.
I grabbed my cock and squeezed in my fist, angry and eager, when the doors of the shower were opened, suddenly making me turn. I found myself in front of a smiling and still naked Ash, damn him.
«Can I make it to you?» he said coming in.
I was watching him while the water drenched his hair and skin, slipping on him.
«Ash, get out soon from this fucking shower.»
I told him, but I did nothing to push him away. God, I just wanted to grab him and fuck him until he screamed.
«Stop it Sean, you do not want me to come out and I will not do it. I want to touch you and I want you to touch me and you want the same things.»
«You do not know what you are saying, little boy. Whatever happened between us tonight was a mistake that must not be repeated.»
«Mm, you look like the magician of set phrases. You love me and it is also quite obvious. And do not call me little boy!»
Ash closed the doors of the box behind him and in the limited space he fell literally on me. He reached out taking my dick in his fist and starting to move slowly.
«You're so big, Sean. I did not think you were so big when I imagined of you.»
I let out a groan. I tried to stay still, to find the strength to reject him, but his hand was perfect. It seemed made for squeeze my dick. I felt his thumb to rub the tip and spread the drops of semen that had started to leak, sending me lights of pleasure throughout the body.
«Every time I looked at a porno I imagin to touch you and suck you. Every time I see you with Cam, or hanging out with the other Shadows, or alone, I always expect you notice me, look at me. Until last night you've never done it.»
Ash moved his hand quickly and talked to me on my skin, whispering and making me shiver as he licked my neck. I wanted to rip him from me and tell him that I would continue to ignore him, but it was useless. I was a bad boy at the head of a gang, I was the head of my neighbourhood, and I did not allow anyone to tell me what to do yet, but at that time, I could only bend myself toward Ash’s fist and put my hand through his hair before let me go to that devastating pleasure that that kid was sparking in me.
I watched him as I took up my breath. He was desperately beautiful and quite excited. I should return the favour but he was Asher, was only seventeen and I was hoping that his life would become much better than mine. He was good at school and had a future to be built, tie him to me would be a too big mistake.
«Now are you happy, Ash? You got what you wanted, so you can go away.»
I expected him to be angry and came out of the shower but he took his lower lip between his teeth and smiled.
«At your order, sir. Can I take a shower? Then I’ll be on my way.»
I was surprised, but at the same time glad that he did not make any fuss. I was deciding whether to let him take a shower and go or stay there and also end quickly to wash, when Ash began to touch himself.
«What the fuck are you doing?»
«I do not go out from your home with an hard cock, Sean. I will solve the problem, then I will be on my way as you asked me. Now if you do not want to stay here and watch, you can go out and let jerk off in peace.»
«Christ, I thought your brother had brought up you better than that.»
«I hang out with you and the Red Shadows since I was little, Sean, I'm not a bad guy who goes around shooting and stealing, but I'm also not a shrinking violet. You and my brother can protect me as you wish, I doubt that you will keep me from having sex if I feel like it though. I know what I want, and you can’t make me change my mind.»
In record time I was banging him on the wall.
«Do you want to give your ass around? You can forget it, brat!»
«Is it just fine if I give it to you, Sean?»
«Not to me idiot. I was drunk, if I was sober I would not even touched you.»
«Are you sure?»
«When did you become so arrogant, little kid?»
«Since I have to deal with a gang of idiots who do not realize that I am not a child anymore. Now let me go, my desire as gone.»
But now I was lost. The idea of Ash, with another man, any other men, almost made me get out of my head. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me before using the other hand to begin to touch him. I heard him gasp and the idea to let him be gone, seemed totally ridiculous. I took him to climax, enjoying every moan, every twitch of his tight cock in my fist and I could not find a wrong thing. Fuck Cam if he had discovered it, fuck if it would be the last time, fuck everything. At that moment, Ash was mine.
I watched him get dressed while I was still lying naked on the bed. When he was ready to leave, he went to the bed and I did not have the strength to fight his sweet and inexperienced kiss.
«We did not do sex tonight. You wanted to take me home but then we touched each other and kissed and we went to your house. You were so drunk that you fell asleep.»
«I know you want me, and if you are worried about my brother, you can feel comfortable, I will not say him anything.»
«Your brother is only a part of the problem, Ash. You are just seventeen, oh well eighteen, and I’m twenty-four. My life isn’t totally honest and you really deserve better. Your brother promised your mother he would not have brought you into the lap of the bands and I will not put myself in the middle. It's true, I want you, and I do not even understand why, but there can be nothing between us.»
«Yes, yes, I know the lesson, Sean. I'm going home now.»
I let him get away from me even if it was the last thing I wanted to do. I do not even know how we were gathered together the night before but it did not matter. I was sure that now that I had him in my bed, I had touched his skin, I knew what he could do to make me lose my head, I would have fallen into his net whenever he wanted to.I was fucked! Shit!
«Are you listening to me?»
I looked at Cameron. It was my best friend since forever. I remember that after the death of his parents, he and Asher had spent a week at my house. We had talked about his brother, deciding together how he should deal with the eleven year brother that followed him like a shadow.
Their parents had been murdered in front of their house, before the eyes of frightened neighbors, who tried however to help as best as they could. A month later my parents were murdered too, and Cameron had never left me alone. That bloodshed was continued with Connor and Axel’s parents and Colin’s father and Robert's mother because they did not want to surrender to the Black Devils, let their children join that band.
Me, Cam, Axel, Colin, Connor and Robert were all friends since we’re children. Blinded by the hate for the Devils and hungry for revenge, we made up a team, learning to defend ourselves and to defend our neighborhood. We had become the Red Shadows, shadows with a red blood soul, like the one of our fathers and our mothers. They died to give us a chance to live a different life. They don’t want us to become a street gang, selling drugs and with an itchy trigger finger.
In the end we had become, however, a band. Overwhelmed by hate until we had lost one of us, Robert. That loss still hurt everyone. After losing him, we had calmed down and we were dedicated to protect our neighborhood without creating too much troubles. But now the Devils were trying again to enter our territory.
«Sean, come on, man, what the fuck? You're not even listening to me.»
I stared at him.
«Are we making the right choice, Cam?», I asked thoughtful.
«We're doing the only possible one, Sean. Why suddenly do you have doubts? You've convinced us to do this thing and now, what? You don’t want to do that?»
«No, I am good. I was just thinking. Will you tell Ash?», I asked him without looking him in the eyes.
«No, I will not do it. I want him out of this, Sean, I want him out of this life. I want that he studies, he is smart and deserves a better life than the one we lived after the death of our parents. I do not want he spend his time angry. I want him to find someone and built a life out of this shit.»
I nodded. I agreed. I also wanted the same things for Ash. Even if I wanted him in every way and I wanted him for myself, that does not change the fact that he should have had a different life from the one he could find staying in the neighborhood.
«Today he turns eighteen. He told me he is gay, you know it?»
«It seems to me that he did not hide it from you.»
«He said that he had doubts, then last week he told me that his doubts were over. That little shit ... I asked him how could he be sure and do you know what he answered? That when you k off thinking only about a man there was not much room for doubt.»
We both laughed. Cam was absolutely straight and he knew about my bisexuality. It was the first one to whom I had said it and he didn’t care. When I told the others, I discovered not to be the only one to be attracted to men. That day we had all taken a colossal hangover, some of us were celebrating having had the courage to come out and toasted the others because there would be more women for them, because when you said to be bisexual you ended up to ninety percent fall in love with a man. Cameron was absolutely convinced of that.
«You know that, when he’ll suffer for a guy I will send him straight to you. I do not know what to tell him and would end up shooting at that dick who will mess up with my brother. You're usually more friendly.»
I almost choked with the beer I was drinking and I decided it was time to change the subject because the memory of the day before with Ash, naked in my bed, did not want to leave me alone.
«Come on, that's enough talk. Tell me about the delivery. Was he there?»
«Yes, he was with us all the time. The trip was also fun. He and Connor get caught all the time. We delivered the goods and everything went well. Ryan took the money. We throw the bait, Sean.»
«Now we wait for him to take a bite. While you were away, Axel had a little problem with The Bulldog. The bastards shot him and hit Colin, I used an entire bottle of whiskey to convince him not to go into their territory and try to take them all out. I think those bastards are allying with the Devils. We are outnumbered Cam, we must be careful.»
«Do you want to take new recruits?»
«No, only Ryan will become part of the gang. We need him.»
«How do you want to proceed?»
«As we have always done, Cam. They have the numbers, we have the brain and now Ryan. We will not stop until even just one of those sons of bitches will be on the streets.»
«Do you never ask yourself what our parents would say if they could see us now? A gun on that we are no longer afraid to use. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if they were still alive.»
«They all died, Cam. Imagining how it would be cannot bring them back to life.»
«Go and do the hard dick-head with someone else, Sean. I know you miss your parents like me and Ash miss ours. The fact that you do not allow yourself to think about them does not make it less real than the fact that you miss them.»
I looked askance at him.
«Have you finished, Dr. Freud?
«I wonder how you've become our boss, you're such a dick sometimes.»
«I became the chief because I am always a dick and because I am the most intelligent of you all.»
Cameron stood up and smiled at me.
«Sure, boss, believe it. We can meet at the King tonight, we take a beer and catch up with the others.»
I looked at Cam going away and for a second I was tempted to stop him and tell him that I wanted his brother. Then I shook my head. Shit, that boy would make me crazy. I had to have more sex, maybe that was why I could not stop thinking about him. If I had had sex with another man, one with whom I could be without paranoia, I would have vented a bit and I would have not thought about Ash. Being with him was not possible and moreover it was ridiculous that I was so obsessed. And then, I had much else to think about.
I grabbed the phone and called the number I had recorded only a few days before. Ryan answered at the second ring.
«Ryan, it's Sean. I have just spoken with Cameron, and he told me that everything is ok.»
«Yes everything is ok. We delivered the goods as agreed. Now we just wait for our friends to even notice that they were screwed. Are you ready?»
«We will be.»
«Well, just because the Devils will know that you have fucked up the goods and have delivered it on their behalf, will break a big mess.»
«We had to take risks if we want to come out of the closet. Up to now they have sent on the street only the last recruits, if we want to take the big boys then we have to stand tall and create a little casino.»
«I know, I was there when we came up with this brilliant plan, remember?»
«I do not think I will ever forget the day when me and your boss shook hands.»
Ryan laughed again.
«What's it like being on the other side of the fence?»
«In the end we were always on the same side, only with different methods», I answered to him.
«Yeah, and that's the only reason why we are now working together. I have to go now. Do not get shot, Sean. Connor will never forgive it to you.»
«Did I miss something between you and one of my Shadows?»
«Not your fucking business, my friend. I'll be in contact.»
I greeted him and put away the phone. I hated to wait.
I was going to go home to work a little in the workshop when I saw Ash. He was with some friends, they were entering the B & B, a fast food restaurant frequented by teenagers. I swallowed as I watched him. As it annoyed me to admit it, he was still a teenager and for no reason would have to return to my bed even though every fiber of my being was screaming that it was there that he had to be. In my bed, with me next to him. Trying to dismiss the thought I stood up. I did not need to torture me again and I had more important things to think about. Too bad that my cock does not think the same way.
On Friday evening the King was filled with boys and girls from sixteen to thirty years. All they wanted was to socialize and have fun to start in a better way the weekend. The next day there would be no school, many would not have worked, and everyone could go home later. It was a safe place and it was our lair. We had helped the owner when, a few years before, had been blackmailed by a gang from another neighborhood and to thank us he kept us always the best table in a corner of the room where we had a compete view of the entire room. It was on a mezzanine floor over the other tables and a small dance floor and you could see anyone who entered. When I arrived that evening, the others were already all there.
I stood watching them for a minute before reaching them, they were engaged in a conversation and they were all laughing. If you watched them you could just see some guys a bit dark, amusing themselves all together, but I did not escape the details of each of them. Axel, as always was next to Colin. He watched him as if he was always saving him from an impending tragedy. I was amused to note how he gravitated around him attracted like a magnet without being able to admit that there was something more than friendship between them. Colin loved him but it was not a secret to anyone, no one except Axel. Colin probably would have already left the city if it was not that he could not abandon him. Often Cam and I were wondering what it would take for them to realize they love each other, but Axel told everyone he was straight, went with women, and every time it happened, Colin became silent and absent.
Connor was instead the most cheerful of them all. He was our eyes and our ears. He was the one who put me in contact with Ryan. I had the secret belief that many of the leaks that we had in the last few months were just the work of Ryan. Connor was secretive about his private life, and never introduced anyone because he knew that we knew him so well that we had only to look once to see if his companion was just a fuck of an evening or something more.
Then there was Cameron. My best friend, my right arm and more than once my consciousness. He was resting on the sofa with the new conquest. Thinking about it, it was already some weeks that Cam took her to the King. I liked Elise. She was tiny and with a skin so clear to make it seems like a porcelain doll, but she could put in place anyone who bothered her. Cameron had sweated seven shirts to be able to have a date with her, it had become a matter of principle for him and when he had gained it, we all thought that, as usual, he left her soon after fucking her. But apparently, Elise was damn smart and Cam seemed to be increasingly fascinated by her.
Finally I was there. Taciturn and always a little pissed off at the world, I would have liked to get out and make a completely different life, but when my parents were killed, every dream for the future had been buried and replaced by a desire of revenge.
The bastards would pay for all they had done to our neighborhood and to our families. We had been in a hurry to take revenge and totally disorganized we had lost one of ours. They even paid for it!
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