Two Much! - Donald E. Westlake - ebook
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A ruse to bed a pair of twins quickly grows complicated. Art doesn't mean to tell Liz Kerwin that he has a twin. He's on Fire Island, and she's so beautiful that he's willing to say anything for a chance at getting rid of her clothes. So when Liz mentions an identical twin sister, Art blurts out that he has a twin too. His name is Bart, he says, and describes the most boring man he can dream up. Liz thinks he would be perfect for her sister Betty. When Art meets Betty -who is, of course, just as lovely as her twin -she asks about his brother. Hoping for a chance at the family fortune, Art dons a pair of glasses, slicks back his hair, and soon has "Bart" engaged to the sister. As his simple lie spins out of control, Art learns that wooing sisters is never as easy as it seems. Review Quote: "Under any name, Westlake was a grandmaster." - Los Angeles Times "Donald E. Westlake writes a comic novel so well it's a wonder he bothers with crime at all." - Newsweek "Westlake has no peer in the realm of comic mystery novelists." - San Francisco Chronicle Biographical note: Donald E. Westlake (1933-2008) was one of the most prolific and talented authors of American crime fiction. He began his career in the late 1950s, churning out novels for pulp houses-often writing as many as four novels a year under various pseudonyms-but soon began publishing under his own name. His most well-known characters were John Dortmunder, an unlucky thief, and a ruthless criminal named Parker. His writing earned him three Edgars and a Grand Master Award from the Mystery Writers of America. Westlake's cinematic prose and brisk dialogue made his novels attractive to Hollywood, and several motion pictures were made from his books, with stars such as Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson. Westlake wrote several screenplays himself, receiving an Academy Award nomination for his adaptation of The Grifters, Jim Thompson's noir classic.

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Contents

Cover

About the Book

About the Author

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

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About the Book

A ruse to bed a pair of twins quickly grows complicated.

Art doesn’t mean to tell Liz Kerwin that he has a twin. He’s on Fire Island, and she’s so beautiful that he’s willing to say anything for a chance at getting rid of her clothes. So when Liz mentions an identical twin sister, Art blurts out that he has a twin too. His name is Bart, he says, and describes the most boring man he can dream up. Liz thinks he would be perfect for her sister Betty.

When Art meets Betty -who is, of course, just as lovely as her twin -she asks about his brother. Hoping for a chance at the family fortune, Art dons a pair of glasses, slicks back his hair, and soon has “Bart” engaged to the sister. As his simple lie spins out of control, Art learns that wooing sisters is never as easy as it seems.

Review Quote:

“Under any name, Westlake was a grandmaster.”  - Los Angeles Times

“Donald E. Westlake writes a comic novel so well it’s a wonder he bothers with crime at all.” - Newsweek

“Westlake has no peer in the realm of comic mystery novelists.” - San Francisco Chronicle

About the Author

Donald E. Westlake (1933–2008) was one of the most prolific and talented authors of American crime fiction. He began his career in the late 1950s, churning out novels for pulp houses- often writing as many as four novels a year under various pseudonyms- but soon began publishing under his own name. His most well-known characters were John Dortmunder, an unlucky thief, and a ruthless criminal named Parker. His writing earned him three Edgars and a Grand Master Award from the Mystery Writers of America.

Westlake’s cinematic prose and brisk dialogue made his novels attractive to Hollywood, and several motion pictures were made from his books, with stars such as Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson. Westlake wrote several screenplays himself, receiving an Academy Award nomination for his adaptation of The Grifters, Jim Thompson’s noir classic.

Two Much!

Donald E. Westlake

 

BASTEI ENTERTAINMENT

 

Bastei Entertainment is an imprint of Bastei Lübbe AG

 

Copyright © 2014 by Bastei Lübbe AG, Schanzenstraße 6-20, 51063 Cologne, Germany

 

For the original edition:

Copyright © 2011 by The Mysterious Press, LLC, 58 Warren Street, New York, NY. U.S.A.

 

Copyright © 1975 by Donald E. Westlake

 

Project management: Lori Herber

Cover adaptation: Christin Wilhelm, www.grafic4u.de

Cover design by Mumtaz Mustafa

 

E-book production: Jouve Germany GmbH & Co. KG

 

ISBN 978-3-95859-025-0

 

www.luebbe.de

www.bastei-entertainment.com

 

All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this e-book or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

 

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

 

 

ForSteve Kesten,who knows how,andfor the mistress of Adams’ Apple,who knows why

 

 

Two heads are better than one.

John HeywoodProverbs

IT ALL BEGAN INNOCENTLY enough; I wanted to get laid. So when Candy and Ralph said we were invited to a party over in Dunewood I said fine, wait while I change. Ralph said, “There’ll be some singles there,” and Candy stuck her tongue out at me behind Ralph’s back.

I put on white slacks and a pink shirt and we headed barefoot down Central Walk toward Dunewood. Fire Island, two P.M., Sunday, August fourth. Sun straight up in a cloudless sky, air hot and smelling of ocean, rows of little houses lined up along the boardwalks stretching across the island from bay to beach. Children were everywhere, on bicycles and on foot, running wild because Fire Island doesn’t permit any automobiles.

All the houses in Dunewood look alike, except for the colors. The one we wanted was up near the beach, and the music could be heard three blocks away. The owner had built an extralarge deck on the back of his place so he could tell it from all the others, and it was full of people dancing and drinking and shouting at each other over the music. Suntanned women in bikinis and big dark glasses dancing to rock music; how they moved it all around. “I guess I’ll go get acquainted,” I said.

“Do have a wonderful time,” Candy said. Couldn’t Ralph hear the spite in her voice, couldn’t he figure out what was going on? (Or what had been going on, until he’d stopped going to the office.)

Apparently not. His face stayed as open and unsuspecting as a girls’ choir in bandit territory. Giving me a grin and a friendly poke in the arm, he said, “Go get ’em, Art.” He envied me my bachelor’s access to women, the poor schnook; I wondered if he’d still envy me if he knew my main access the last six months had been to his wife.

What Ralph didn’t know couldn’t hurt me. “Bye-bye,” I said, and drifted away from the happy couple, off to find a substitute for Candy. I do have a sweet tooth.

The place to meet women is by the liquor. Whoever my host might be, he was no piker; gin, vodka, rum, and enough tonic to float a loan. The table was already a sticky mass of mangled lemon parts, but who cared? Not me. “Thank God,” I said to the big-titted brunette beside me. “No sangria.”

Her sunglasses left just enough of her face exposed to show me she was grinning. “Picky, aren’t you?” she said.

“Absolutely. And I pick you. Let’s dance.”

So we danced for a while. Her bikini was dark blue and her flesh was tanned the color of brandy. Perspiration trickled down from her throat, sun-glistening lines leading down into the soft cleft between her breasts, and I wanted to taste her. Salt is always welcome after too many sweets.

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!