Following the success of her debut book of short stories, Shadows In Darkness, Georgie-May Tearle returns with her first novel. Model Behaviour is a fast paced, cold, hard look at the cut-throat world of professional modeling. Written from the first person perspective of a woman who is willing to do whatever it takes to remain on top of her career, Model Behaviour is shocking, exhilerating and thought provoking. Georgie-May Tearle writes expertly as she takes us on a journey through the cynical mind of the highly unhinged protagonist.
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Conditions of sale
The right of Georgie-May Tearle to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted to her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All the characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Incidental references to brands, products, venues, locales, companies and institutions are made fictitiously and are not advertisements or endorsements.
6913 Press 2013
Everyone who thinks I’m writing about them...
My beloved rescued pets Troy and Mary And the remarkable Scorpions
There's a point in your life when you get tired of fixing everything and trying to make everyone happy. When you finally decide to quit, that doesn't mean that you've given up, it means that you've realised that you don't need certain people and the bullshit they bring to your life.
If you really want to know about me and my life then take the time to get the know me. Never judge a book by it's cover or only read the first few chapters and assume you know the rest. Never believe what other people tell you about the tale, you need read carefully from start to finish, including between the lines and make your own judgement.
Though it may take you a while it will be worth it in the end and so will I...
Is being a professional model all it's cracked up to be?
That's a question that I'm sure a lot of young girls ask themselves. I know I did. I used to wonder what it would feel like to see yourself on billboards, in shop windows and in magazines. Everyday I'd long for that feeling. It was everything I thought about and everything I wanted. I never had any ambitions that went beyond becoming a professional model. It was my dream to be a model. I dreamt about it so much that I dropped out of school and signed up with a modelling agency and my gamble quickly paid off. I'm now on those billboards and in shop windows. I'm in the magazines too, just not the ones my dad would approve of.
Not everyone will agree with my choices, I dropped out of school because I decided to follow my dream.
I believed that being a model gave you power. More than anything I wanted to see myself advertising something that I knew thousands of people would see. That, to me, meant that I had power, maybe even respect.
In the beginning I thought that by signing up with a modelling agency meant I had a foot well and truly in the door to stardom and that almost instantly I would become rich and famous. Little did I know that I couldn't have been more wrong.
My parents weren't really a part of my childhood and so when I decided to leave school they didn't protest as much as I thought. But then I don't think that I gave them much chance to.
I'm very head strong and when I put my mind to something I do it, regardless of what anyone says or does and regardless of whose feelings I may hurt along the way. As far as I was concerned it was my life and I was going to live it how I wanted. They were my choices and I needed to make my own mistakes. And that's exactly what I did. Whether it was the right choice or not… It was my choice, and that's all that mattered.
I regretted my decision for a little while as the agency I was with hadn't got me a lot of work. They gave me jobs with really low pay and messed me around with payment.
They even tried to get me into hostessing. Girls… Hostessing is not modelling! You walk around smiling at men, giving them drinks and sometimes sitting on their laps. You're just a play toy, a man pleaser. You're being paid to say and do the right things…. You may as well be a prostitute!
I caught on right away, I wanted to be a model but not so much that my dream blinded me. Some agencies will really try it on to get their commission. But anyway, being as determined as I was I soon came into contact with other agents and it didn't take long till that big break came. That was the moment I knew that I'd made the right choice for me, I knew I'd chosen the right path to walk.
Modelling was the path for me, not education. And now because of the choices I've made and the paths I've walked I have now been a glamour model for almost twenty years.
In contrast to what people say I can tell you now that being a model is not the easiest career in the world.
The only people that tell you that modelling is easy are nasty girls that wouldn't be able to be models themselves. For some reason they tend to think that it is just a case of standing in front of a camera, pouting and eating nothing but celery. For your information I love a good burger, I really do. Salad or anything green rarely comes near me. And the reason I am fit… Not skin and bones… Fit, is because I work out. Because I go to the gym, not sit on the sofa eating cake watching Jeremy Kyle. Not that I don't love Jeremy Kyle!
I cant stand women that moan for hours on end about how models are so ugly because 'they're all skin and bones'. And ok maybe some models are too thin, but everyone knows that designers only use stick thin models to get the shock factor, to get an outraged reaction for the press to print. And if it gets their designs in the papers, they will continue to do it so really it is your fault for reading it.
But I see so many women on social networking pages posting pictures of size 16 models comparing them to size 6 models and it just isn't fair. You would never see a smaller sized woman doing that! We feel the pressure to stay perfect, to stay skinny. To be better and more beautiful than the next girl because if we take our eye off the ball we could be us out of a job. The kind of pressures skinnier girls or models feel are a real mental strain I can tell you now.
We wouldn't post pictures of fat girls and ask if you needed to get your trousers especially made because you're so fat. And yet they post pictures of potentially anorexic girls with captions such as 'I'd rather have curves than just be bones' or 'Which is sexier?'. Who are you to compare?
It is so playground.
In school I remember girls picking on other girls because of their size, but because they were fat. It seems the tables turn as you get older with large women picking on skinny women. If you're healthy what is the problem? Attractive girls are always the most insecure while the Shrek lookalikes strut their stuff thinking they're queens.
The only problem you fat girls have is that you can't stop putting cake in your pie hole. The size zero models you slag off could have a serious eating disorder and if you don't like being discriminated against because of your size then why do it to us?
And don't tell me it is because you have a glandular problem, I really have heard that excuse way too many times!
Oh, and ladies… Don't expect that having big tits makes you sexy. Big tits on a fat bird are as pointless as a six pack on a skinny guy. I know a girl, well I knew a girl, I deleted her from my social network after I'd had enough of her shit, who was a complete dick when it came to her boobs. She always had her boobs on show, making everyone feel really uncomfortable. I have a great pair but I don't get them out all day everyday, I cover up, I dress respectable, when I want to anyway. If you want to see my boobs read the right lads mags. If people stared at my tits they'd be staring for the right reasons. With her you would be glaring in horror!
I'm going off on one here but with the assumption of modelling being easy I can tell you that models have to wait around for hours on end for photographers to sort themselves out, makeup artists to get their act together and hairdressers to finish making our hair look worse than when we initially walked in.
We have to sit on the top of rocks with ridiculous drops that we could fall off of. We have to pose in the freezing cold sea in the middle of Winter, wear a bikini in the snow, the list is endless. I could make multiple jokes about body fat and wearing bikinis in the snow but I'm not going to. I'm not going to moan about fat women anymore. I don't want to be as cold and bitter as they are.
There might be some very nice plus sized women but unfortunately I have only had the pleasure of meeting horrible ones.
Our model days are normally longer than your usual nine till fives. I could go on and on about the hard work that goes into everyday of being a model. About the competitiveness of the industry and how it messes with your head, not being to trust anyone. After a while you suspect that every girl you meet is after your job. You question every man, whether they want to sleep with you because he has seen you in one of their dirty mags and wants to make their fantasy a reality, hardly any men actually look past your big tits when you're a glamour model. And that's big tits where they matter, on a skinny girl with curves. That's the best body you could possibly have.
I could complain but the truth is that no matter how low you think getting your tits out in public is or how much of a wreck I am because of it… I love my job!
I'm sure with any job you get problems with co-workers but the one thing with my job that I think makes me on edge the most is having to watch and wait for the moment that I will be replaced.
Girls bully you to try and take your eye off the ball so that they can jump in and replace you.
I'm sure that comes with most jobs, even office jobs. Where one person is the office bully trying to get an undeserved promotion, but in this game we have no boss, we have no one that we can run and complain to. No one that cares about our little problems or would sort out a possible bitch fight when other models give us the eye. But then if another girl had the £8,000 job that I wanted I would be doing anything I could to get that job back.
It's like being back at school.
But we just have to keep calm and carry on.
Even if I did have a boss I don't think I would run to them with my problems anyway. I'm a tough cookie, at least I thought I was, and I quite like hating the people I work with. In a way it keeps me on my toes. Reminds me to always watch my back for the new face. There are some things that you just have to get on with in the working world. But do you know what really yanks my chain? Those wannabe models that strut around thinking they are God's gift, claiming to have modelled for every company they can pronounce, from makeup to hot pants, and all you're thinking while their talking is how can one person tell so many lies and more to the point, do they honestly think we believe them?
If you saw the state of them you would understand where I'm coming from.
The only person that would ever believe that they're model material is themselves. I bet even their families think they're nuts, in fact I know they do.
Apparently because they pose into their mirrors or web cams, they're suddenly professional models. It's always either that or because they've had one photo shoot with a terrible, unknown photographer that they've had to pay for. A horrid man that just happens to have a camera who told them how beautiful he thought they were, or how he believed that they were natural models and would go far in the industry… They'd have to keep paying him for shoots of course. It's just like paying a photographer to tell you how amazing you are. Sort of like being a hooker in a peculiar way. Everyone may as well be a prostitute in my world apparently. But I can tell you now that my straight talking makes more sense than what these ridiculous girls believe.
I hear girls boasting about this sort of thing all the time. Disgusting really. Just miserable men looking to make a quick profit from girls that are desperate to be beautiful. Giving girls unrealistic hopes and dreams. If they're just not model material, be cruel to be kind and tell them!
Those sort of girls aren't ones to worry about. They're the ones that might irritate or make you feel sorry for them. Not ones to watch your back over.
Sometimes those sort of girls can turn nasty and become adamant that they're supermodels, they're exactly the kind of girls that give the modelling industry a bad name, make it some sort of joke or hobby rather than a job. But that's not going to change so why worry?
The most irritating girls are the so called 'models' that copy everything you do.
I have had so many of those and boy have they been ridiculous. This particular girl was a real bitch. She claimed to be a professional model and tried desperately to get into newspapers where she would claim to have done everything I had, even claiming to have worked with me. Using my name to further her career. Now that really is the lowest of the low.
The papers of course printed one or two things but soon realised how much of a nut job she was and ignored her desperate emails. She was the biggest joke of them all! I said that I knew of families that didn't support the girls dreams of becoming a model, and rightly so, well this is just one of the girls that I know where her family now despise her. She wastes money thinking she is going to make it big if she does, money which wasn't hers. She decided to make friends with people I knew, people I secretly despised, and carried on her outrageous stories. I really don't care, they are all just flies on my windscreen. But boy can the dead flies build up.
Jealous wannabe! But then never hate the people that are jealous of you, respect their jealousy because they are the ones who know you are better than them! Plus it is said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
As you get older you're always looking over your shoulder.
You don't have a problem when you're starting out with your perky tits and queues of boys at the door wanting to take you out, you can get any job you want. But when you're older you come to realise that the photographers and bookers are always looking for that fresh new face to walk through the door, the model that still has those perky tits. Not fake balloons that have sagged through the years.
The moment that happens you know that you're either going to have to sleep with photographers and casting directors, just to keep some sort of career going.
And with no qualifications or experience doing anything other than modelling what sort of job do you think I would get? A receptionist? I wish. I wouldn't even be able to do that boring job. More like a hostess or a prostitute… Porn? If anyone my first modelling agency would be proud of me if I was to do anything as low as that.
But even then, I think that industry has quite a few women who are worth more than a woman my age. Not that I'm not sexy, I mean, I know I'm damn hot but I'm sure a man would rather pay for a twenty year old, page three looking girl to have sex with rather than an older, soon to be unemployed glamour model.
And how embarrassing would sending out my CV be? What would I even say?… Hello, I would like to have sex for a living because I can't think of another job I could get? Sounds perfect... Not!
I don't think even a bar would take me on. I would look great behind a bar, it's not that I couldn't pull a pint or two, but bar owners just want younger girls working for them.
Doing porn would probably be the best job I could get. But that industry is just as competitive, if not more. I would probably even have a struggle even finding the right person to contact about getting into porn. I don't know, I guess we will just have to see what the future brings.
Things are good at the moment but my time is coming, I can feel it, and maybe sleeping with people to get what I want is the answer if things turn sour. But you know what they say, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour. Now there's quote for you.
But basically at this point without the sweet and sour crap, we can pretty much clarify that if I get out of the modelling industry I'm officially fucked, even with my great rack. I wonder how emotionally unstable I will be if it happens… If? More like when it happens.
Now, I do have a fake pair and I'm happy to admit it.
They're not the saggy kind yet, I'm not that old!
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