The Act of Infidelity - Anthony Ekanem - ebook

The Act of Infidelity ebook

Anthony Ekanem

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Infidelity is the greatest and most misunderstood of all relationship infractions. This small, sometimes one minute act of passion or revenge, has the capability to initiate a relationship and/or end a relationship at the same time. But what is Infidelity? Most people will classify infidelity as either a man having an affair with a woman while he is in a relationship or a woman having an affair with a man with whom she is not in a relationship. This is a basic definition of what infidelity entails. It merely scratches the surface of what makes up the playing field of being unfaithful. Infidelity has many names. It is called cheating, stepping out, a transgression, betrayal, unfaithfulness, perfidy, fooling around and so on. In addition to infidelity having many names, it also has many meanings. For the most part, the widely accepted definition of infidelity revolves around indulging in sexual intercourse with another man or woman who is not the married or committed partner. But there are many other meanings as to what defines infidelity and these are often determined by the individual who faces infidelity or by the one who commits The Act of Infidelity. The thing about infidelity, which is beneficial and at the same time confusing, is the fact that everybody can make up what infidelity means to them. This means that they do not have to be bound by anybody else's interpretation of what cheating or subdivisions of cheating may or may not actually be. Here's the hypocrisy when it comes to infidelity: for some, if you are in a relationship and you look at someone else in a lustful manner, then you have cheated. For others, if you are in a relationship and you indulge in a platonic relationship with another that your significant other does not know about, then again you have cheated.

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The Act of Infidelity

How to Know a Cheating Partner
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

Chapter One

What is Infidelity?

 

Infidelity is the greatest and most misunderstood of all relationship infractions. This small, sometimes one minute act of passion or revenge, has the capability to initiate a relationship and/or end a relationship at the same time.

 

But what is Infidelity? Most people will classify infidelity as either a man having an affair with a woman while he is in a relationship or a woman having an affair with a man with whom she is not in a relationship. This is a basic definition of what infidelity entails. It merely scratches the surface of what makes up the playing field of being unfaithful.

 

Infidelity has many names. It is called cheating, stepping out, a transgression, betrayal, unfaithfulness, perfidy, fooling around and so on. In addition to infidelity having many names, it also has many meanings. For the most part, the widely accepted definition of infidelity revolves around indulging in sexual intercourse with another man or woman who is not the married or committed partner. But there are many other meanings as to what defines infidelity and these are often determined by the individual who faces infidelity or by the one who commits the act of infidelity.

 

The thing about infidelity, which is beneficial and at the same time confusing, is the fact that everybody can make up what infidelity means to them. This means that they do not have to be bound by anybody else’s interpretation of what cheating or subdivisions of cheating may or may not actually be.

 

Here’s the hypocrisy when it comes to infidelity: for some, if you are in a relationship and you look at someone else in a lustful manner, then you have cheated. For others, if you are in a relationship and you indulge in a platonic relationship with another that your significant other does not know about, then again you have cheated. And still for others, which is the most widely accepted act of criminality, if you engage in sexual intercourse with someone outside of wedlock or outside of commitment, then you have crossed the lines as far as what fidelity dictates.

 

Another thing about infidelity, which is beneficial and at the same time confusing is that aside from everybody having their own interpretations of what infidelity means to them, many people have their own interpretations of what an actual relationship is as well. Many people are in a relationship without complete communication or understanding of why they are in the relationship.

 

The one thing that they do not completely communicate to each other is what a relationship means to each of them. This has been a big problem in the world of infidelity because many women use the silence as acceptance when it comes to what a relationship is. In other words, if they express to the men whom they are interested in what their idea of a perfect relationship is and the men do not object or give their opinion and input, then the belief will be in these women’s minds that the men are in complete agreement.

 

Sometimes men will agree with women just to get them to shut up. Many times women will consider a relationship initiated when there is consummation of that union. Men on the other hand will many times assume that the relationship is an actual relationship when there is the promise of at least a discussion and acceptance of exclusivity. So in laymen’s terms; a man can have sex with a woman again and again without feeling as if there is any type of commitment because he hasn’t asked for and received one but the female will be believing that the man is cheating if he sleeps with somebody after he sleeps with her because the relationship was assumed to be exclusive.

 

Now do you see why communication is crucial for relationships to be happy? One of the confusing things about infidelity is the fact that it is closely related to an actual monogamous relationship like the same way many cold symptoms mimic the symptoms of many other more serious diseases and vice versa. When it comes to a relationship, people who cheat most often attempt to make their cheating relationship mimic what either occurs in their committed relationship (minus the cheating, of course) or they try and mimic what happens in some other regular relationship where there is no cheating going on at all. This is sometimes perpetrated by the couple holding hands, going shopping, spending countless amounts of time communicating by every mode of communication possible and even staring into each other’s eyes with that teenage, stargazed look that people usually only have when they are in the new stages of a relationship or deep in the stronghold of love.

 

People, who are cheating, for the most part, do not usually make clandestine appointments. What they usually do is walk around like the person they are having the affair with is nothing more than a friend. Nobody in their right mind will intentionally leave clues around that they know may cause them to get caught in the act of infidelity or that will cause them severe detriment with the significant other, as what getting caught in the act of infidelity or causing the significant other to become overly suspicious would normally do, unless they just didn’t care about the significant other and wanted a quick and painless way out of the relationship. This is why it is sometimes so darned hard to decipher what infidelity actually is.

 

Now, aside from the legal separation of infidelity, there is what is commonly called inappropriateness. There is also the issue of the moral separation of the two. I am pretty certain that in almost every state, province or jurisdiction, it is wrong by every stretch of the imagination to have an affair with a married man or woman. By most logical accounts, this is a basic description of what infidelity entails. But there are many people who feel that infidelity is not what the prevailing law states but is whatever the majority of society frowns upon. This can fall under either the inappropriate or immoral statute. For instance, if a married individual patronizes a strip club and does nothing but sit there and view naked members of the opposite sex, then that person has committed infidelity, even though he or she has never come into actual physical contact with any of the individuals employed by the club. If a married person uses the internet to view other members of the opposite sex, not meet up with but view, as what is done with online porn, then it is believed that that individual has committed infidelity as well. A great many people in relationships desire to control their partners and they want to do it so much that they even desire to control what their partners do, say, think and view.

 

The bad think about this, besides the control issue itself, is the fact that many of these people want the significant other’s actions and mode of thinking to eventually resemble that of their own. If an individual believes that viewing pornography is wrong, then it automatically becomes wrong or is supposed to become wrong in the eyes of the significant other and if it doesn’t, then the significant other will be viewed as somehow being unfaithful to the other.

 

There is a thing which causes a great deal of controversy in many relationships nowadays and that is the issue of emotional cheating. This is not on the same legal level as screwing somebody while being married and going to jail or getting divorced because of it but many people feel that it is pretty close. One reason why emotional cheating is controversial is that it is something that people do. This does not imply that everybody cheats, but it means that people either already have formed or eventually will form an emotional connection with someone in this world.