Something the Cat Dragged In - Charlotte MacLeod - ebook
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For Professor Ungley, death isn't half as inconvenient as losing his toupee. An unpleasant man in every respect, university professor Herbert Ungley is exceedingly vain. One morning, his landlady catches her cat coming in with Ungley's hairpiece between its teeth. It's clear something has happened to the old grouch, because he would never be caught without his toupee. Ungley is found in the yard behind his social club, with his head bashed in and his baldness plain for the world to see. Although the police are content to call it an accident, sleuthing horticulturalist Peter Shandy is unconvinced, and finds there are too many unanswered questions. How did Ungley come to have such a bulging bank account? Who was Ungley's long-lost heir, and what did he have to do with the professor's lost hair? And whose is the second body in the woods? Shandy must answer these questions and more if he's to find who pulled the rug out from the balding corpse. Review Quotes. "The epitome of the 'cozy' mystery." - Mostly Murder. "MacLeod can be counted on for a witty, literate and charming mystery." - Publishers Weekly. "Charm, wit, and Holmesian logic." - Audiofile. Biographical note. Charlotte MacLeod (1922-2005) was an internationally bestselling author of cozy mysteries. Born in Canada, she moved to Boston as a child, and lived in New England most of her life. After graduating from college, she made a career in advertising, writing copy for the Stop & Shop Supermarket Company before moving on to Boston firm N. H. Miller & Co., where she rose to the rank of vice president. In her spare time, MacLeod wrote short stories, and in 1964 published her first novel, a children's book called Mystery of the White Knight. In Rest You Merry (1978), MacLeod introduced Professor Peter Shandy, a horticulturist and amateur sleuth whose adventures she would chronicle for two decades. The Family Vault (1979) marked the first appearance of her other best-known characters: the husband and wife sleuthing team Sarah Kelling and Max Bittersohn, whom she followed until her last novel, The Balloon Man, in 1998.

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Contents

Cover

About the Book

About the Author

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Looking for more suspense?

Cover

Begin Reading

About the Book

For Professor Ungley, death isn’t half as inconvenient as losing his toupee.

An unpleasant man in every respect, university professor Herbert Ungley is exceedingly vain. One morning, his landlady catches her cat coming in with Ungley’s hairpiece between its teeth. It’s clear something has happened to the old grouch, because he would never be caught without his toupee.

Ungley is found in the yard behind his social club, with his head bashed in and his baldness plain for the world to see. Although the police are content to call it an accident, sleuthing horticulturalist Peter Shandy is unconvinced, and finds there are too many unanswered questions. How did Ungley come to have such a bulging bank account? Who was Ungley’s long-lost heir, and what did he have to do with the professor’s lost hair? And whose is the second body in the woods? Shandy must answer these questions and more if he’s to find who pulled the rug out from the balding corpse.

About the Author

Charlotte MacLeod (1922–2005) was an internationally bestselling author of cozy mysteries. Born in Canada, she moved to Boston as a child, and lived in New England most of her life. After graduating from college, she made a career in advertising, writing copy for the Stop & Shop Supermarket Company before moving on to Boston firm N. H. Miller & Co., where she rose to the rank of vice president. In her spare time, MacLeod wrote short stories, and in 1964 published her first novel, a children’s book called Mystery of the White Knight.

In Rest You Merry (1978), MacLeod introduced Professor Peter Shandy, a horticulturist and amateur sleuth whose adventures she would chronicle for two decades. The Family Vault (1979) marked the first appearance of her other best-known characters: the husband and wife sleuthing team Sarah Kelling and Max Bittersohn, whom she followed until her last novel, The Balloon Man, in 1998.

Something the Cat Dragged In

A Peter Shandy Mystery

Charlotte MacLeod

 

BASTEI ENTERTAINMENT

 

Bastei Entertainment is an imprint of Bastei Lübbe AG

 

Copyright © 2015 by Bastei Lübbe AG, Schanzenstraße 6-20, 51063 Cologne, Germany

 

For the original edition:

Copyright © 2012 by The Mysterious Press, LLC, 58 Warren Street, New York, NY. U.S.A.

 

Copyright © 1983 by Charlotte MacLeod

 

Project management: Lori Herber

Cover adaptation: Christin Wilhelm, www.grafic4u.de

Cover design by Mauricio Díaz

 

E-book production: Jouve Germany GmbH & Co. KG

 

ISBN 978-3-95859-385-5

 

www.bastei-entertainment.com

 

All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this e-book or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

 

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

 

For Maggie Curran

Chapter 1

“EDMUND! YOU KNOW BETTER than that. Dragging in some poor, dead creature just as I’ve finished mopping the floor.”

Like Eliza navigating the ice floes, Mrs. Betsy Lomax stepped from one to another of the newspapers she’d put down to protect her clean, wet linoleum. Edmund was a well brought up cat, as cats go, but males were tomcats the world over.

“Never seen one yet, feline, human, or otherwise, that could pass up a chance to trail his muddy feet through a fresh-scrubbed kitchen,” she grumbled. “I’ve a good mind to slosh you right between the whiskers with this mop.”

But what would be the use? Edmund’s memory for punishments that conflicted with his hunting instincts was conveniently short. Besides, Betsy Lomax was deeply attached to Edmund. Furthermore, much as she deplored wanton slaughter, she had to admit chipmunks were not an endangered species. This had to be a chipmunk. The lump of ruddy fur clamped between Edmund’s jaws was too big for a field mouse.

No, it wasn’t a chipmunk. It wasn’t a red squirrel, either. It wasn’t a mole or a vole or anything recognizably four-legged. It was only a scrap of fur. Wrong again, it wasn’t even fur. It was hair. Human hair, from the look of it. Mrs. Lomax wasn’t a squeamish woman, but she gulped once or twice and folded the hem of her apron over her fingers before she reached down to pry Edmund’s mouth open.

“I do declare!” she gasped, when she’d got the prey away from him. “Edmund, have you been sneaking into Professor Ungley’s bedroom again? He’s going to have seventeen kitten fits in one straight row if he ever finds out you’ve taken this. Now what in tarnation am I going to do?”

Betsy Lomax had reason to ponder. Professor Emeritus Herbert Ungley was touchy about a great many things, but most particularly on the subject of his hairpiece. He’d managed to delude himself into believing there wasn’t a soul in Balaclava Junction who knew he wore one; even though the toupee was the same ginger color it had been when he’d sneaked into Boston some forty years back and bought it, while the few hairs that still managed to straggle out of his scalp emerged an unpleasant yellowish white.

Ungley was an unpleasant old man altogether, if it came to that. He was also a careful tenant who’d been paying on the dot for more years than Mrs. Lomax cared to remember. A widow without a great deal to sustain her except her own two hands and the rent of her downstairs flat had to consider both sides of the situation. One way or another, she’d better get that hairpiece back to him before he missed it and threw a conniption.

Mrs. Lomax pondered her strategy. Professor Ungley wasn’t up yet, most likely. He’d never been one to bestir himself at first crack of dawn. Or second crack, either, if there was such a thing. Last night he’d been at the monthly meeting of that foolish Balaclavian Society, so he’d have got to bed later than usual. She nodded briskly to Edmund, cut a slice of fresh-baked coffee cake, laid it on a plate, and wrapped a paper napkin around it. Then she slipped the by now somewhat mangled hairpiece into her apron pocket, picked up the cake plate, and went down the back stairway.

She had a key to her tenant’s door, of course. She was used to going in and out, cleaning for the old man once a week and doing other chores as occasion required. Sometimes she’d leave him a little treat, not that she ever got thanked for it. The cake would make a plausible excuse if he should happen to be up and catch her coming in. Mrs. Lomax tapped gently, got no answer as she’d hoped she wouldn’t, unlocked the door, and went in. She’d just sneak the toupee into the bathroom and Ungley would never be the wiser. At least he’d act as if he wasn’t, which would amount to the same thing for practical purposes. She started for the connecting door, then stopped in her tracks.

“Well, did you ever?”

She was too astonished not to make the remark out loud to Edmund, who’d tagged along hoping to get the toupee back. There on the kitchen sink stood the professor’s milk, untasted.

As Betsy Lomax well knew, for there was precious little about anything in Balaclava Junction she didn’t know, it was Herbert Ungley’s invariable habit to pour himself a glass of milk every afternoon at half-past four and leave it standing on the drainboard until he was ready for bed. By that time the chill would be off and he wouldn’t have to bother heating the milk. No two ways about it, Professor Ungley was a lazy man.

The old coot wasn’t too lazy to attend to his personal comforts, though. Why hadn’t he drunk that milk? Mrs. Lomax began to feel uneasy. Why hadn’t Edmund, if it came to that? He must have got in here somehow to find the toupee, and it wasn’t like him to pass up a chance at some free grub.

Professor Ungley had turned eighty on his last birthday. Mrs. Lomax knew that for a solemn fact because she’d been politely invited to bake him a birthday cake, though she hadn’t got asked to share it. Her own father had died at eighty. She sidled along toward the bedroom, listening for snores and not hearing any.

Her tenant was not in his room. Moreover, the bed hadn’t been slept in. She could tell; she’d changed the sheets and made it up fresh only yesterday, and it was just the way she’d left it.

Betsy Lomax was too sensible a woman to panic, but after she’d searched every inch of the flat to no avail, she found herself walking out the front door still wearing her apron and clutching the plate of coffee cake. The nippy autumn air brought her to her senses fast enough. She went back upstairs to put on a coat and cap.

“He could have fallen and twisted his ankle or something, I suppose,” she remarked to Edmund, who’d given up hope of the toupee and retired to sulk among the wax begonias on the window seat. “One of them,” she meant the Balaclavian Society members, “might have taken him home for the night and not bothered to let me know. Why should they? ’Tisn’t as if he was anything to me.”

Still, you couldn’t do for a man all these years without feeling some concern. If Ungley had hurt himself or got sick at the meeting, it was more likely his fellow members would have brought him back here and expected his landlady to take care of him. Unless he’d had to be rushed to the hospital. No, in that case she’d have heard by now, early as it was. A second cousin by marriage was sister-in-law to the admissions nurse who’d been on duty last night at the Hoddersville Hospital, which was the only one close by. Surely Priscilla’d have passed the word to Marge, and Marge would never have been mean enough to keep back a piece of news like that about Betsy’s own tenant.

Maybe she’d better phone Henry Hodger or one of the others. Maybe she’d better forget the phone and stir her stumps over toward the clubhouse. If Professor Ungley had fallen in the dark on his way home and lain out all night with a heavy frost—she pulled on her knitted gloves, tucked her door key into her palm, and went out.

Chapter 2

LIKE MOST NEW ENGLAND main streets, Balaclava Junction’s had some pleasant old buildings. The Balaclavian Society’s clubhouse was not one of them. It was old, true enough, but not pleasant; just a sparse little box with too little paint on its clapboards, too many weeds in its yard. Out back was where she found him, lying hatless and of course wigless among the frost-blackened dock and plantain. Mrs. Lomax took one long, thoughtful look, then turned and walked down the main street to the police station.

Nobody could call Chief Fred Ottermole lazy. Though the station clock said not yet half-past eight, the chief was already behind his desk, diligently polishing his badge on the sleeve of his uniform.

“Fred,” said Betsy Lomax without regard to rank or protocol, “you hoist yourself right straight out of that chair and hike on over to the Balaclavian Society.”

“What for?” He blew on the badge, gave it one last rub, then pinned it on and stood up. “Somebody busted in and stole all their mothballs?”

“Don’t you smart-aleck me, young man. Professor Ungley’s out back in the weeds.”

“So what? That’s no crime, far’s I know.”

“Depends on who put him there, doesn’t it?”

“Huh? Oh, cripes! Not another murder?”

“I wouldn’t want to say, but I daresay I can tell a dead man when I see one. Furthermore, suppose you tell me what would possess a person his age to go wandering around back lots in the pitch dark on an October night with frost on the punkin and no rubbers on his feet. You’re going to look an awful fool if somebody else finds him before you do, Fred. Take a blanket or something with you in case old Mrs. Pearworthy happens along and gets the daylights scared out of her. I’ll stay here and call Dr. Melchett. He won’t have left for the hospital yet. Well, don’t stand there gawking. Move, can’t you? The body’s beside that old harrow they’ve always been going to do something about and never got around to.”

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!

Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!