Till Death Do Us Fart - Donald Rump - ebook

Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. "So you're leaving me for a fart???" Helen exclaimed. For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,500 words.

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Also by Donald Rump

20 Common Questions About Farts

A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve (Episode 1)

Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date

Bottling Farts (English, Spanish, Italian)

Bottling Farts, Inc. Season 1 (Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Captive Audience

Crazy Authors Volume 1

Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch

Finding Floofy (English, Spanish)

Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks is a Bad Idea

Floofed at 40,000 Feet

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 1 (English, Spanish)

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 (English, Spanish)

Gastrointestinal Blues

Going Dutch (English, Spanish)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay

Marriage Stinks (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

The $500 Question (English, Spanish)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (English, Spanish)

The Would Be Asstronaut (English, Spanish)

Till Death Do Us Fart (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Weekend Getaway (English, Spanish)

© 2014 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Image(s) licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Santalucia Art Inc. (#10024679). Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

First Edition (v1.1)

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Donald Rump



Till Death Do Us Fart

My Two Cents

About the Author

Ad 1: Bottling Farts

Ad 2: 20 Common Questions About Farts

Till Death Do Us Fart

“I’ve met someone.” Gary Hubbard lowered his eyes and stared at the floor.

“And?” said his wife Helen, spreading cream cheese over her cinnamon raisin bagel.

“And...I’m sorry...I wanted to tell you sooner...” He kept his eyes anchored to the floor.

“Tell me what?”

“It’s just that...I’m sorry, dear, but we can’t be together anymore. I found her, my one and only true love!” Gary confessed.

Helen did not flinch or smash a plate over Gary’s thick skull. She sat at the table, calm and collected, and took a sip of coffee. “How long has it been going on?” She set her cup back on the saucer.

“How long?” Gary looked around the restaurant, beads of sweat streaking down his forehead.