The Would Be Asstronaut - Donald Rump - ebook

Hank Larmspitz has a plan.Well, sort of.He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship.Exactly what does he have in mind?Dan Dinkerleaf, a local correspondent for KAAS-LD Eureeka, wants to find out. And when he discovers Hank's true intentions, his patience becomes paper thin. "Seriously?" he blurts out. "Don't you think your theory is a bit…oh, I don't know...implausible?""Watch close and you might learn something." Hank cracked his knuckles and pulled out a helping of his favorite brand.Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.

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© 2015 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Image(s) licensed by and © Karl Kotas. Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

First Edition (v1.0)

Table of Contents

Title Page

Books by Donald Rump



The Would Be Asstronaut

About the Author

The Would Be Asstronaut

“So let me get this straight...” Dan Dinkerleaf furrowed his brow and eyed the old man suspiciously. “You’re going to launch yourself into space...”

“Uh huh...” Hank Larmspitz inserted a pinch of mint-flavored chew between his lower lip and gums.

“And you’re going to land on the moon...” the reporter continued.