The soul quantum theory and other novels - Ricardo Tronconi - ebook
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Professor Swollenman, the most erect man in the neighbourhood, has quite a visible gift in his lap. A winning feature in theory, but...Who says that erotic novels don't make room for time travelling?Seriously involved with his conjugal obligations, in the second half of the last century, an unknown writer unexpectedly finds himself copulating with a wonderful, Indian, curry flavoured woman...The theft of a very precious musical instrument, a violin belonging to an indecipherable Maharajah and charged with an intensely sensual sound, is silenced by the seriousness of some Italian historical events in the seventies and soon forgotten...

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Ricardo Tronconi

Cover image derived from  Gianmaria Zanotti's photo under the CC BY 2.0 license. This file is licensed under the CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 license.

 

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Table of Contents

THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY

THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

SATANIC APPENDIX

THE MAHARAJAH'S VIOLIN

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

THE INDESCREET CREASES OF SPACE

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY

AND OTHER NOVELS

Text translation by Alessia Bettini

Linguistic advice by Leslie Rabinowitz

THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY

OR WE ARE THE DEVIL

Original image Mahpadilha / CC BY 2.0. New image CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

CHAPTER 1

In the second half of the last century, a theory as bizarre as it was attractive (and subtly quite exciting), brought the world of liberal, mystic thought close to breaking away from the monotheistic, religious universe. The reason for this discussion wasn't anything new and it regarded mainly Lucifer's choice, wicked for some, intrepid for others, to become the bearer of darkness after having once been the most luminous diamond of all knowledge, second only compared to God, when the Universe didn't yet exist. To disturb the quiet ignorance of the believers, who didn't see a semblance of evil in Satan, but rather evil itself, clearly defined and separate from good, again represented by the other winged beings led by Gabriel, was emeritus Professor Odoro E. Swollenman.

This last, distinguished philologist, semiologist and expert in sexual semantics, reprimanded by the University Chancellor on more than one occasion for the course's male students continuous complaints (never the females), was famous for presenting a permanent swelling of his fly during sexual semantics lessons (and not only then). A definite sign, according to the male students, of a swelling that revealed a penchant for the subject, yes, but improperly and slightly narcisistic. On the contrary, according to the females, the involuntarily sustainable movement of the penis could be considered by any male (and female), as feasible users of the afore-mentioned device, as a traffic light (that is a signal bearer), allowing one to pass beyond the sole sense of smell in perceiving slight deviances in an individual's sexual behaviour. The extremely clear Professor, sexually very gifted, in spite of being an erect man, was also definitely sensitive to female charm, so as to be called easy swelling man (this last, just one of many epithets we cannot fully mention because of restricted space). Approximately after his fiftieth birthday the emeritus Professor Swollenman (permanent swelling man) began to have his first revealing dreams about the real aim of human beings and granted this theological knowledge to become his lifelong occupation.

CHAPTER 2

It all began one morning, when Professor Swollenman (palpable swelling man)woke up with an erected pole (not an exception, but rather customary). However that morning, the nest that little animal wished for wasn't available, as it was at Ladoga Lake on holiday, tightly embedded in Mrs Netty Swollenman's thighs (this was not a significant piece of news, rather pretty normal). Odoro immediately realized that mere masturbation wouldn't be good for him at all, nor would spiritual exercises. So he prepared a glass, added some ice cubes and with no hesitation plunged his blood swollen penis in it, which expecting to find a warm, safe and humid place, collapsed and imploded. Once that matter was solved, Swollenman (honest swelling man) went back to bed and dreamt of making love to an Eskimo with a smooth anus, curiously ice-cold.

Waking up, Odoro asked himself, just as anyone else dedicated to semiology and semantics would have done, whether his dream was a sign of the poor sexual life he had been living for a long time, or whether the ice associated with the Eskimo's anal sphincter represented the possibly senseless management of his wealth by a bank which had already shown an indication of total disinterest in the money he had put aside with effort. A bit worried, he phoned his wife and told her what had happened. Once informed of those facts, Netty reassured Odoro telling him not to bother too much and to get ready, warm and humid, for her prompt return. Furthermore, she suggested that he go to church and talk to a Professor, because in her opinion the exasperated enlightenment that set his heart on fire, was undermining his integrity too, and this was bound to have negative repercussions on every aspect of life, even if only minor. Odoro agreed to go to confession at once, and that same day he went to church to talk to a priest. There he saw Gabriel and Lucifer's effigies for the first time, one the messenger of good tales, the other one of gloomy premonitions.

CHAPTER 3

After talking to the priest for hours, Professor Swollenman (simple swelling man) went back to Nice Little House, the suburb where he lived with his wife. Once inside, much to his amazement, he found Netty, having just returned from Ladoga lake, tidying up the mess he had made in the course of those few bachelor days. Netty and Odoro hadn't seen each other for three weeks and abstinence was a liable spark for igniting the sex fuse. It was well-known (especially among the female students, but the males too) that Professor Swollenman (endless swelling man) was intensely extraordinarily climax-resistant, and so it was this time, notwithstanding the long fast, he was able to honourably merit the fellatio Netty had reserved as the last course of that long meal. While she was offering him that final dish, Odoro began to tell her what had happened during her absence. When his tale finally reached the point of the conversation with the priest, Swollenman (manifest swelling man) admitted that what had struck him most in the church were pictures of Archangel Gabriel and of Lucifer, which in his opinion had been talking.

“Peculiar indeed...” replied the beautiful, well-proportioned, curvaceous and colourful Netty, interruping what she had been doing, “Really I don't remember such an icon in the church. But it's possible you saw two different images and merged them into one sole imaginary picture. Gabriel is usually the one who foretells, with Lucifer the fallen angel, bowed under Michael's triumphant foot.”

“Yes, Netty. It's possible. But I am highly convinced they wanted to reveal something to me. Something in particular.”

“And something unknown too, I suppose... Is that correct, Odoro? You intellectuals are often misled by the thought of publishing things never before seen nor heard. I'll bet you are thinking about bringing Eden back to life. Right?”

“No, Netty. Don't joke... Perhaps you're right. I'd better sleep on it.”

And after the last course of that long meal, they went to bed.

CHAPTER 4

That night Professor Swollenman (sensual swelling man) dreamt about Lucifer and Gabriel, the former looking ugly due to his awfully hellish existence, the latter bearing a slightly annoyed look, the probable inheritance of popular tradition. Actually, Gabriel was there simply to certify what Lucifer would say, for the first time indiscretion's true announcer. The Archangel's job, therefore, was to testify as to the Opponent's reliability, and his credibility. Nevertheless, the truthfulness or the falsehood of what Lucifer was about to say would not be assessed in Gabriel's statement, and consequently would be liable to Swollenman's mere discretion (independent swelling man). Free will?

Lucifer begun to talk: “The fact that I wanted to be not only the most beautiful in all Creation, even more than the Creator himself, was my sin, and its weight bent my knees. But the awareness of causing harm bent my back. At first I didn't understand: the knowledge of what I had done seemed devastating. Impossible to rectify. Later my thoughts returned to me clearly and harmoniously. And what if it was just the sin of knowledge, and consequent devastation of the soul, an opportunity offered to me by the Creator to make up for all the harm I had caused?

Please notice, Mr Swollenman, that I, at that time, wasn't very familiar with sin. I was truly convinced I had committed an abomination. As time passed I kept on thinking about what I had done, stooping lower and lower. At a certain point I, the greatest of all Creations after God, with a distinctive obsession of being even greater, became smaller than a proton. You are a literary man, Mr Swollenman, and I don't expect you to know what a proton is. Yet I'll tell you it's a very small thing... Well...

The pressure inside of me was really unbearable and not only because of the sin, believe me... Well... In the end I exploded and every smallest part of me was cast far away; but the energy at stake was so intense, that the chaos which followed stayed confined to the beginning, and only much later was it possible to see what had happened. Of course, by protecting your sight, as the light was too blindingly bright for human eyes! I was Lucifer once more, but with no shape.

Years went by, thousands, millions of years, and although I was in pieces, I was able to notice what was happening to my infinitesimal parts, which had reunited and were giving rise to a new world: a Universe. You are a literary man, Mr Swollenman, and I don't expect you to know what a Universe is. Nevertheless I'll tell you it's a very big thing... Well...

Although time was passing exasperatingly, slowly, I felt more and more comforted, because I knew, in that shining structure, every part of me had been and was still fundamental to carrying out the project, including my darkest substance, the one I myself struggled to define and which may have been the cause of all harm done. Yet my redemption came closer every minute. Through the creation I would free myself from sin once and for all. But I didn't know how, yet...”