The Shattered Shadow ebook

The Shattered Shadow

The Shattered Shadow

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Firstly, I’m honored to have been inspired by Medium Maria whom I regard as my Guardian Angel, Astrology & Tarot Guru and dearly mom to begin my writing profession. This is the very precious first book in my life that I sincerely want to dedicate it to the society and to the lost souls who are seeking help in their life. Apart from that, she has rendered big help selflessly in editing my manuscripts, I am forever grateful to her.

Last but not least, I would like to give special thanks to Zack, my best friend who has helped me tremendously in designing the most fascinating book cover and constant encouragement to me throughout my process of writing.

PREFACE

Generally, divorce has become a norm in today’s society. It is happening around the world every day. Sadly knowing that, there is 1.6 per 1000 population of divorce cases in Malaysia, 2.2 over 1000 population in Asia and 3.5 per 1000 population in worldwide.

Apparently we are hearing more separation and divorces among the earth dwellers after the outbreak of pandemic Covid-19 in the year 2020 due to serious conflicts and arguments among couples during the 2 months’ lockdown movement. As the saying goes, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. According to the prophecy of Sylvia Browne in her book <Prophecy> stating that more children living with single parents will be so much more common than children living with both parents in 2020. Sadly, this phenomenon is becoming prominent now.

This book is dedicated to the women who are about to be married and youths who are born in a family with single parent whom parents are separated or divorced. It is especially to educate the unfortunate kids refrain from the negative influence of havoc in a broken family and to groom them with mental and psychological strength to face challenges in life. To also prepare them accepting the reality of their separating parents if the incident happens on them one day and understand it’s not a mishap. It’s just a conditional family system and a different way of living.

The objective of my writing is to break the myth of inherited spell of divorce in the next and future generation because there is a superstitious belief that if someone were to marry a partner whose parent is a divorcee, the likelihood of them getting divorced is very high in the future. However, this is merely a misperception and it is not true.

Reality is always opposing the fantasy in a fairy tale such as <Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs> with the ending part illustrating a princess who was rescued by a prince and they got married eventually, with the popular tag line in the story “they are happily married ever after”. Indeed, this is a dream of every woman to have a happy and contented life in marriage but sometimes life never gets perfect. However ,women should instill awareness of marriage crisis and always be ready to confront adversity in a relationship if this day is coming. Expect the unexpected and cross your fingers to hope for the best.

MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR

This book is dedicated to all the teens and adults especially to all who are born in a family with parents divorced or separated, it is a reality and fact that you could not choose your parents but your future destiny is in your hand. Life is a single journey and you are required to make a decision along the path from stages to stages except birth and death. Along your life journey, it will never be perfect because there are always surprises and challenges for you so that you will learn the lessons and make progresses in life. Most of the time, you are given options to choose your reaction towards a situation. Unexpected things happen in your life could torment you or propel you forward and it’s a matter of a paradigm shift in your mindset.

I find that the virtue of “To forgive and forget of” something or someone who has hurt you in your past relationship is the best medicine ever. Holding on to grudges and hatred only seeding toxic in you physically, mentally and spiritually, so much so that will ruin your life eventually. Please do not mirror the imperfection of your parents’ life into yours because it is your life, it is absolutely independent and it is solely in your decision of how you want your married life to be and what kind of feelings compelling you to go through the life with your future spouse who will ideally walk with you till the end of life.

Last but not least, I truly hope this book will bring awareness to you and do not live behind the shadow in someone else’s life. Remember, life always comes with options. Let’s make a good one! May God bless you for a blissful and peaceful life.

Flo Maria

INTRODUCTION

The Shattered Shadow

Divorce is no longer a taboo in our community that blemishes the reputation of a family, it comes in free will similarly to marriage. It’s common, where the couple married, and separated and remarried again. In ancient time, women were afraid to disclose their marital status of a divorcee or a widow. It is an omen to the maternal family if their daughter is parted with the husband or the husband is demised before her in a conservative Chinese tradition. These women were badly referred to as “the abandoned one” or “the loser”, they were mocked and condemned in the society.

Divorce is common in almost all societies but cultural view about it is changing as societies develop. In societies such as United States, Japan, Sweden, Russia, and most European countries, divorce is relatively hasn’t has little stigma. Exception countries that are largely Roman Catholic because Catholicism has negative attitude towards divorce. The couple is not permitted to remarry after divorced with stipulated condition. “The Catholic Church treats all consummated sacramental marriages as permanent during the life of the spouses, and therefore does not allow remarriage after a divorce if the other spouse still lives and the marriage has not been annulled.” Therefore “Divorce” is not common among Catholic couple but alternatively Annulment is prevalent in their religion. Annulled marriage is considered to be invalid from the beginning, it is a void marriage meaning one of the parties could opt to cancel the marriage and it is retroactive.

The increases in divorce rates have been among the most visible sign of family deterioration. Some could have viewed this as a corruption of social and moral values in the society. Others may have celebrated these trends as signaling increased individual liberty and the loosening of suffocating social mores.

A shadow is derived from unresolved inner conflict and unexpressed emotion, it is the repressed fragment in a stored memory that is sunken to the unconscious mind. It will surface in any situation due to triggered stimuli from to past incident.

What causes divorce becoming a norm today?

Gender equality plays an important role in contributing to it as we are seeing several points as below:

The old era was a male dominant society whereby daughters were meant to be married and dependent on their husbands for living. A son would be the future breadwinner of his family therefore education is important to ensure them getting a promising career in the society. Generally, women’s position in the society is inferior to men’s because men are the main income providers in respective families. Some women were merely housewives, whereas some working as factory workers or general workers like waitresses and merely earning a petite income, except those minority ones with secondary school qualification could work in government or private sector in white collar job. Overall, women were vastly relying on men for a living.

If men were having mistresses or affair outside of marriage, all they could do was continue being submissive to their husbands out of no choice, despite of their infidelity. They were losing their voices to rage over unfairness and the right to fight for justice instead they deceive themselves accepting it as a norm of male’s behavior. Mainly because they didn’t have the courage to divorce their husbands without being financial independent. All they could do was succumb to living in agony if not bashing by husbands in domestic violence.

As a conclusion, women have no dignity, honor and self-worth in the male dominant’s society, shamefully losing respect due to fear of losing everything such as love, financial support and a home if they separate with their husbands.

Today, the number of children in a Malaysian family is lessen to 1-3 kids as compared to our grandparents’ era having around 5-10. In view of financial constraint in those days, sons would be given priority in receiving education but daughters usually will help out their parents in plantations or domestic work at home.

In contrast of the 60’s, more Malaysian women are well educated today, they are not only degree holders and many among them are masters holders and till PhD qualifications.

Women become career independent, intelligent, strong perceptive mind, assertive and decisive in the new millennium. Many are working as politicians to the extent becoming a President or Prime Minister for the country, a CEO in corporate world, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs and etc. To these successful women, divorce is just trivial in their daily life. In fact, they don’t even need a man in their life because they are financially independent.

Advancement of communication network is another factor that crumbles a family institution, among these are Internet such as media social website, Facebook, Whatsapps, Instagram and etc. Connecting everyone across the world is made beyond border in just a click away. But people abuse the freedom and misuse the facility eventually leading to ending the institution of marriage by indulging in extramarital affair.

Match making links are becoming popular among the singles to hunt for their potential partners because it’s a platform simply to enable members exposed to anyone with similar intention conveniently. They could just date anybody randomly and freely accessible to knowing new friends. However, some ingenuous people misuse the site to their advantage such as a married man who faked his marital status in order to know a single girl in the loop. Consequently, it would somehow or rather induce sex and complicated relationships among existing couples.

Too many temptations in an open society due to the exposure to all these telecommunications apps, for instance they can obtain sexual service through the related provider apps similarly to a grab delivery service in which the girl’s photos, their nationalities and service menus are uploaded for customers to select from the link. Eventually, these become the home wrecking factors in many families.