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THE NECESSARY TOOLS FOR SUCCESS
Copyright 2015 Thomas Jackson
© All rights reserved to the author.
Disclaimer: all information contained in the present guidebook has merely informative aims and it does not replace any kind of medical or psychological treatment. The author does not guarantee the achievement of certain results of personal, professional and financial growth because they are closely bound to the determination and the spent personal engagement. If you suspect to suffer from some problems, such as physical or psychological diseases, you have to rely upon an adequate medical treatment. All information about finance and investment contained in this guidebook has merely informative. The author denies any responsibility.
When the others trust in you, you succeed in realizing great things. Have you ever thought which aims you could reach if you, first, believed in yourselves?
“Poor people have big TV. Rich people have big library”: this sentence pronounced by Jim Rohn makes us understand that most times successful people get to their position thanks to their knowledge, and knowledge is learnt in books. Through books we can compare ourselves with the great philosophers and poets of the past, through books we can learn arts and works, through books we can understand reality, economy, the complicated network of relationship between sexes. In this continuously developing world, culture and knowledge are your last opportunity of fulfilling yourselves.
Are you satisfied with your life, with your job position and with the quality of your interpersonal or sentimental relationship? Aren’t you? Therefore, what are you waiting for in order to change an unsatisfying situation, a situation that doesn’t make you wake up in the morning with the enthusiasm that makes every single minute of your life unique and special?
A lot of people say that the events happening to us lead our life but it is not true because if it is true that an event can lead us in a certain direction, it is also true that afterwards we have the opportunity of changing that direction. The life of the ones who are without problems is not perfect; while the life of the people always able to solve the problems of their life is always perfect. A trouble-free life can no exist; a trouble-free life is a utopia, but an easy life where problems find a solution can actually exist. Our mind is paradoxical because it succeeds in making even the smallest obstacles insurmountable: it can make us see a gorge instead of a small hole. Nevertheless, a mind behaving so prevents us from having a satisfactory life. This is the reason why some people live in a timeless night that doesn’t allow the sun to rise.
If you live as most people, at the end of your life, near to death, you will have some regrets, as not having brought hilarity and joy in your days, not having expressed your feelings to the people you loved, having taken time away from your partner and your children to devote yourselves to your job, having lived a life conditioned by other people. Not let this happen. Choose to be happy not tomorrow, not within many years but now! Live your present.
Can you learn to be happy and fulfilled in your own life even if everybody and everything seems to be hostile? The answer is “yes!” and you will learn to be happy when you achieve you’re the independence of your soul. You will be able to fulfil yourselves only when you learn to subordinate your happiness just to yourselves.
Through this guidebook, I will help you in your way of personal growth. At the end of this journey, you will have become the directors of your own life, not only mere spectators. If you not plan your lives, someone else will do it instead of you. Do you perhaps want this to happen? So take your position and prepare yourselves to direct the best performance you have ever seen, the only one played and directed by you.
If, during your life, other people’s approval conditions you, that is to say you give more importance to other people’s opinion than to yours, you depend on other people. They are those who rule your life and decide for your happiness or unhappiness.
If you spend all your day complaining about everything, if you are never constructive and you never stimulate an unpleasant situation, the others will rule over your lives. Your colleagues will be free to spoil your day, your office manager not to let you spend a quiet night, politicians to ruin your patrimonial situation. In a similar predicament the delay in the arrival of a tramcar can make you lose your temper, the queue at the cash of a supermarket can annoy you, a person that doesn’t give way to you while you are driving your car can make you angry. Every single fit of rage can spoil moments of your daily life, every single negative change of your mood can make your life unhappy. Wonder: is it worth? Would you let other people rule over your feelings? If you let it happen, you will be very far from achieving happiness. If you let it happen, you may let envies and grudges undermine your personal and professional self-fulfilment. In this situation, feelings rule over you, and it is not hoped for. Achieving a perfect balance means living a life in which every negative mood is easily governable and controllable. A life in which anger, grudge, hate can become quiet, joy, balance. How do you face your life? By reading the following statements, consider how far from or near happiness and self-fulfilment you are.
Avoiding emotions: the greatest mistake you can make to avoid negative emotions is the avoidance of some facets of emotions. Many people try to avoid some feelings for the fear of living negative emotions. Nevertheless, how mean and meaningless is a life lacking in love? Avoiding emotions for fear of living negative ones is the same as not living for fear of dying. On the contrary, learn to control your negative emotions and not to make them stifle your happiness. You cannot avoid sadness: it serves as a catalyst and not as an obstacle to your own self-fulfilment.
Being to have: until you are sure that you must be of necessity to have, you will never be master of your happiness. If you were not born objectively beautiful, it is true you will be disadvantaged in the relationship with the other sex, but shall this condition a sentimentally happy life? No, it shall not. And all this is largely shown by the thousands of happy couples not exceptionally beautiful from a physical point of view. On the internet, in the blogs and chats you can read some sentences pervaded by disconsolate resignation from boys and girls, also very young, maintaining that their life is unhappy because they were not physically beautiful born. In our society, based on appearance, being not very pleasant and attractive can be a problem, but be careful: it can, but it does not have to be a problem. This the little difference: if you let a potential problem become a big problem, you have turned into the perfect way of complicating your life. There are hundreds of people not exceptionally beautiful from an aesthetic point of view but fulfilled in every aspects of their life. Follow their example! If you go on complaining about the way you are and you do not succeed in accepting yourselves or you do not engage yourselves in order to change, you will live a life full of resignation and frustration, that is to say a life full of failures.
Knowing your mind: are you sure you know every aspect of your mind? But, above all, are you sure you are master of it? Every aspect that is not under your control could become a potential obstacle to your happiness. Dominate your bad moods; and you will have the key to open the door of your happiness.
Showing off and pretending to be what you are not: people judge the others according to the value they express. Those who show off in front of other people in order to increase their own value, are not masters of their life, are not self-reliant, but, above all, in the end they will blatantly assert their ignorance and their arrogance. All these people do not rule over their life. You do not have to prove anything to anyone, you don’t have to show yourselves better than you are.
Being afraid of what you do not know: what we do not know often frightens us. Fear is as ancestral, primeval and ancient as men. However, if you are prejudiced against what you do not know, this means that you are not able to dominate your emotions, moods, choices and you probably live a life unable to be enriched with the relationship with the others. Not let your prejudices prevent you from achieving happiness!
Being your own trainer: who can motivate you better than yourselves? Why are you always waiting for a motivation coming from the others? You shall be the best trainers of your life, you shall be active for yourselves. Every day repeat to yourselves in front of a mirror: “You are strong and you can do it also in this situation”.
“Loving oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” (O. Wilde): always love yourselves, look yourselves in the mirror and love yourselves, love yourselves for your little weaknesses, love yourselves for the way you speak, for the way you laugh, for the way you think. Love yourselves because if you do not love yourselves first, nobody will ever do it!
“A mistake is experience”: during his lifetime, sooner or later, everybody makes a mistake but there is a difference: successful people consider a mistake as a constructive experience, people of little value consider every mistake as a defeat. Learn from your mistakes in order not to repeat them any longer in the future, mistakes will make you gain experience, experience is knowledge, knowledge will lead you to achieve success.
Injustice exists but you are not always its favourite target: who of us has never met a colleague, a friend, a relative or simply an acquaintance always complaining about the fact he is a victim of injustice? Though injustice exists, you have to wonder how much your responsibility has determined this situation. If you always see the reason of your failure in the others, you will go on the wrong way. You should rather try to find the reason in yourselves, the act to change the situation.
You do not like as the others treat you: if the others behave towards you in a way you do not want, you are wrong. Other people’s behaviour is usually the result of your attitudes and behaviours. Are you weak? Very probably almost all people will impose on you. Are you nasty? Most people will be nasty towards you.
You consider every way of personal growth useless: if you are a person who considers useless increasing your potentials and knowledge, in your life you will be doomed to failure.
Love is free from selfishness: when you receive and give love without selfishness, you will enter the right way to be happy.
Living the idea of the future with fear and anxiety: for fear of making mistakes or doing wrong, many people get stuck in every choice regarding the future. But being afraid of the future is senseless. Pay attention to be interested in the present, in what is happening and above all, do not condemn yourselves to immobility only for fear of what could happen or, probably, could not happen.
Not acknowledging amusement, cheerfulness and good mood: who does not know the joy caused by a fresh, spontaneous laugh, maybe is not able to give good humour to people either. A life without cheerfulness is never a satisfying life.
Being subjected to a losing personality: many people maintain they cannot change their life due to their personality. The sentence “I cannot change, I am like this and that is enough” shall not exist in your dictionary. Do not let a connotation shifted by other people interfere with the complete achievement of your happiness. If your life is unhappy, do all you can to change it. You will find strength inside yourselves and you will find solutions inside yourselves. Have strength to change your personality.
During the past you may have made mistakes, but now we live in the present: as I explained to you before, everyone makes mistakes, mistake belongs to life but a lot of people let something happened during the past spoil their present life. Are senses of guilt useless? No, they are not at all. If you made a mistake, you shall try to correct your mistakes and learn from experience. Wasting your life by turning past mistakes over in your mind is useless!