Spread the word - Stefan Isaiah - ebook

Spread the word ebook

Stefan Isaiah

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Opis

The author tells his story which happened from October 2012 till February 2013. He is online on Skype and meets the woman of his dreams. Both feel immediately a deep connection (soul mates), and share the same belief as Christians. They are chatting and mailing daily, and after some weeks of falling in love she asks him for some help and support, and in full belief and blind in love he almost sacrifices his life. How he survives, how their relationship changes, and how his belief in God helps him through; that's what the story is about.

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Imprint

Spread the word

Stefan Isaiah

Copyright: © 2013 Stefan Isaiah

Cover photo: © www.istockphoto.com/cosmin4000

published by: epubli GmbH, Berlin

www.epubli.de

ISBN 978-3-8442-5625-3

Thanks to

God, who created this wonderful world for us humans to live on this earth together in love, peace, support and understanding for each other.

Jesus Christ, for that He is the way, the truth and the life for all of us who search Him and ask

Him for His support.

All my sisters and brothers and readers of this book, who already support me and each other with just their belief and light filled presence here on earth. May we be blessed with strength and wisdom to keep on fighting for a better world full of love and support for each other.

Introduction

Short summary of the content

This book is based on a true event which happened in the last months of 2012 and the beginning of 2013. I was on skype and fell in love with a woman, which is nothing unusual nowadays. The exception was that I became unknowingly a victim of a Love scam (and even a God scam), which cost me more than 20,000 Euros just within 2 months. The story shows how mighty a Love scam can be, and how far the scammer is willing to go. On the other side it describes my feelings and experiences, my struggles and my rescue through my belief in God and Jesus. This book is not only of interest for Christians, but for all of us who are spending some part of their life and spare time online. It is a story that wants to touch you and will touch you, if you don't have a heart of stone.

About the story and its message

It took me weeks of inner searching, praying, thinking, feeling and a mixture of changing states of fear and joy to finally find the right words for the introduction to this book.

Today is 28th April 2013, Maundy Thursday.

My wish is to reach as much readers as possible, as the message of this book is universal and should integrate all people who are interested in God, life and its manifold miracles and lessons for us. So I will try not to ‘overload’ this book with Bible verses and comments on the story which I will tell you, but as the core message of this book results from my love to God and the struggles and my fights during the story, I want and have to honour His great deeds on me.

‘Spread the word’ as the title of this book came relative early in my mind, since I felt that I had to write my story down in this book start of January 2013.

I had the message in my mind, ‘If the Lord has shown you His Grace, tell the people about it …’ (rough summary). This is a core message of Christianity for me, to spread the word of God's deeds on us, because this strengthens and deepens our belief. In the Gospels, Jesus did miracles to strengthen the belief of the people, nowadays we also need to hear about God's miracles and deeds on us.

"I will tell of the kindnesses of the LORD, the deeds for which he is to be praised, according to all the LORD has done for us …”[Bible, Isaiah 63:7 (NIV)]

The next 3 months till now were very intensive for me, and all my ideas and words concerning this introduction are the results of reading and reviewing the story. Some days were quite okay and I was able to read 10 pages till 15 pages at once, then some days with only 2-3 pages, and then some days on which I wasn’t able and hadn’t the power to read just one word.

But after a ‘normal’ day of reading the story, putting it aside and relaxing a little, I always had visions, ideas and precise sentences in my head of what I will have to write in the introduction of this book, and I immediately wrote them down. Till now these visions/ideas have summed up to 10-15 pages, and I hope I will be able to bring them in the right context for you to read and understand.

You could compare this repeating process of reading the story, getting visions and ideas, writing them down and reading the next pages of the story with a walk through a desert. Sometimes it seems dry, endless and all the same, but while resting and closing your eyes, you’ll receive the reward for keep on walking, as the sometimes hidden inner processes only reveal to you while having a break. If you are empty and searching for nothing special, then it could be that the very special and important things for you are coming to your mind.

So maybe this story is ‘designed’ just to get you out of your normal thought lines, and who knows what will come to your mind while and after reading some pages.

The first visions in January were about love and peace. I started to feel a ‘new spirit’ under the people while I was just walking through a crowded city. My perception started to change, and I could feel some kind of bright and light filled attention under the people, not in all of them but in some of them, and there were more and more with the time.

When new times are coming around, they are only to recognize and grasp very lightly at first, soft and tender, like a wing stroke of a butterfly. And the people, in some way, are feeling that new times are about to come and on the way, and they start perceiving it, feeling it, looking for it and knowing that it is important to be part of it, for to grow and keep in contact with the development of humanity and society.

For me this 'new spirit' is nothing other than the consciousness of unconditional love, a desire to live in harmony with each other and to support each other, to work together on different issues to make this world a better place to live in. Love and peace, sounds ‘cheesy’? Not at all for me. If you could and maybe already feel this new spirit (entering the world consciousness), then you may be filled with joyful excitement, feeling very light filled in your heart and feeling a warm love for the people around you, no matter if you know them or not.

The people can feel that the consciousness of unconditional love is 'coming down' from heaven to earth, their hearts and spirits are lifted by this unconditional love, and the desire to be unified in this love arises from alone.

But I’m not only a dreamer, I’m a ‘man of God’, and therefore a hard worker in that my whole life long. With a new spirit there also comes a lot of work and responsibility for those who live with this spirit and take part in some way.

Love and peace. Love means work (for example serving others, helping others), peace is the result of this work. But as the way is the goal, what great way is this to love in all forms. Not only your family, your close friends, your favourite bands, sports, hobbies etc.. The main task from my point of view is to start to develop unconditional love in you, the highest form of love which we humans are capable of, like a mother to her child. So if you walk around with an open mind and the willingness to be part of a new love filled and light filled consciousness (which exists not only since a short time but was always there in God, but now comes around in an intensive and experienceable/tangible way for humanity to solve the massive problems we are having worldwide), you may feel be carried and filled with joy, and that alone should be worth it, beside all the good effects it will have on humanity and society in general.

The Greatest Commandment

“The most important one,”answered Jesus,“is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself'. There is no commandment greater than these.”[Bible, Mark 12:28-31 (NIV)]

We are entering nothing more and nothing less than the core messages of the New Testament.

And for us and all those who also struggle and fight for divine love and light, let me quote the Beatitudes.

"...The Beatitudes

He said: 'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.' ”

[Bible, Matthew 5:2-12 (NIV)]

That is the core message of this book: Love each other as God has shown us through Jesus, forgive each other and let’s start together again as one humanity, trying to be worth of the endless love God always had, has and will have for all of us.

Why did I finally found the strength to write these easy but powerful words in the introduction of this book? Because I've suffered deep fears during the last three months, fears for my life, fears for my peace of mind, fears for my belief in God. But again and again, often daily, God built me up, loved me in my fears, showed me ways out of situations and strengthened my belief in Him in such a way, that I’m finally able to tell the world about His deeds now, and thank Him with all my heart and my soul for His grace, forgiveness and endless love that He has shown me.

God bless us all.

“The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." [Bible, Psalm 145:18 (NIV)]

The development of the story

This book is kind of a test of my belief in God and His promises to me (and all of us), written in the Bible. If He never lets me down then He never lets me down and helps me, always. He keeps His promises, always. If His promises count for one, they count for all. It's about God in our daily lives, our problems, sorrows and struggles. Since this story is happening to me, started in October 2012, and I began to write his book in January 2013, I'm praying continuously to God, a steady process of asking, doubting, finding, getting answers, trying them out, seeing that they work, being thankful for them, moving on, struggling and getting fears again, praying again. And so this book develops step by step, gets enriched, and I get more and more in contact with humankind through my spirit. I can feel the rising support while meditating on humankind, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and what it means to me and us to be united in this way. I try to put my insights in easy and understandable words, so that you, the readers, can 'take' these words and don't feel irritated by the text and its content, one of my biggest sorrows when I'm writing the introduction.

This story has changed and is still changing my life, and I feel called to communicate with humanity through this book now, to get out of my shell, to improve and perform this new part of me (sharing my insights and experiences) in service to mankind as God wants it from me. This feeling has become stronger and stronger with the time, and He has convinced me in a plain but distinct way.

God has 'designed' this 'task' for me and prepared it perfectly. My life situation before the story has started: Enduring inner loneliness, inner emptiness, unable to feel like a human being (numbness), no one of my used environment and colleagues were around me at work (due to reorganisation), the increasing longing for love (emotional love). And as I was searching for love I found love, unexpected, intense, real for me, and I also found my belief in Jesus again.

What was happening inside me from the beginning of the story till now

Why do I still have the fear that God will let me fall?

Since the beginning of the story as I was reborn in Jesus again, and he redeemed me and forgave me all my sins, and gifted me a new life, since that day I was save in him, the same way as I was save in him in my old life before. Jesus never lets me down. He knows this, he always keeps his word and promises. So he could give me that heavy task to risk all for him, because he already knew at that point how to get me out and he knew my future. With God nothing is impossible. I had forgotten this, or couldn't feel it in my heart, or had lost my belief in that, because my old life had cost me all my strength and all my faith, and I was very tired and exhausted on all levels (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically).

But he knew that and gave me this new life, and thus gave me this new task to start my new life, to become and grow strong in him again, and to find my belief in him again and finally get used to my new life. What also was or still is new for me, is that I can ask others for help and support as for example through this book. My whole life I've always walked alone and had no one to talk to. Sure, temporary support through people but always 'unknowingly', I could never say: 'I'm working on this for the Lord', or 'The Lord wants this from me, could you support me please', or 'I'm down and exhausted. Please build me up with the warmth of your heart and your faith in the Lord, support me please'. I never had the trace of an idea to do this. Now, as I'm about to finish this book and working on the right words for my introduction, I'm starting to open myself more and more.

What else is it to write a book, a book about myself and the story I have just experienced, a story which has changed my life and on which I am still working to digest and to overcome. I will tell you about my love to a woman, my renewed love and relationship to Jesus, the process of starting a new phase in my life, and I'm sharing all this intimacy with the whole world. That is opening myself to the world, nothing else.

So what is missing to recognize that the missing key for me is to open myself to you? Well, it's still Maundy Thursday and 10 minutes ago I got this insight, and now I'm opening myself to you in a way of full trust, so that I can reach you with my words and you can feel and understand me and my process.

So I'm asking you for your support for me: "Please build me up emotionally" (I need the feeling that the family of Christianity supports me and understands me and forgives me). "Please build me up physically" (If you are just thinking of me and pray for me I will feel that, and get some power to be able to regenerate from the last 6 months of permanent stress, fear, less sleep, struggling for my belief in God and for my transformation process into my new life. "And please, of course, build up my heart and my spirit, I need your unconditionally love from human to human, from Christian to Christian, from sister to brother, from brother to brother, from fighter to fighter, from everyone who is touched by the story and can feel that I need her/his support. I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. [Bible, Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)]

And I ask you to spread the word and make this book a success. As a sign that God never lets you down and supports you, and not only through His love, light and strength that He will give you, but through the love of your sisters and brothers. And as a sign that our Christian belief and community is alive and works without many words and organisational structures. I'm just asking for this fresh and light filled spirit. My wish is to feel God's love not only from Him to me, but also between all of us.

You may ask: "You always walked alone with the Lord and now you ask for our support?" Well, if this question should appear, I would answer: "One for all and all for one", "The Parable of the Lost Sheep" or "Big is God's family. If a searcher and fighter of your family finally returns from 'the end of the world' back home, welcome him and let him tell what he has experienced."

The Parable of the Lost Sheep"Then Jesus told them this parable:'Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." [Bible, Luke 15:3-7 (NIV)]

If my words seem to sound artificial or complicated or all too clear: As the core message of this book is unconditional love, I'm just trying to ask in a simple way for the known forms of this love.

I hope I've found the right words to tell you what is going on in me, and how I finally found new hope today and understood the whole process of the last 6 months for me. If I would stand in front of some of you in an auditorium, to tell you the story in short words and what it's all about, I guess I would be able to reach you and find the right words, and feel your understanding and support while being together with you and having eye contact. As writing this, I can already feel that this is happening, you are there, I am there, we are there together and not separated, space and time are real for us but there is something more and I guess everyone knows and feels this in some way. If we are one in the Lord, what should separate us? If I pray for help from my sisters and brothers, why should they deny it to me? Why should I have fear if I never walk alone? Why should I doubt if God promised me to never let me down? Well, now I got it, thanks to you all. This is the most beautiful and humbled Maundy Thursday I've ever experienced in my whole life, and now I know and feel that I am really reborn in Jesus. The main process has started 6 months ago and finished today in its first main step.

And I can confess with all my love and before the whole world that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

I'm feeling so redeemed and bright and light filled, just as if I am lifted up to heaven into the arms of my Lord. What a fight, what a struggle, what a long long dark night before the dawn.

All what has been written about Jesus in the Bible is true, I not only believe it, I feel it, and I can feel the holy truth of Jesus and His words. I cannot describe my state of mind now, but I feel very calm, peaceful and filled with a very bright strength, light as a feather but very strong.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

[Bible, John 13:34-35 (NIV)]

About the story itself (What this story is about, framework and background)

The story of this book is real and happened to me from October 2012 till mid of February 2013. Since the late summer of 2012 I was online on yahoo messenger and skype to get in contact with people worldwide. After 12 years of being fixed on my job and my partnership/working group, I was looking for some other impulses in my life and I started to chat. Most of the times I got in contact with students at the age of mid till end twenties, we talked about their studies, their plans for life etc.. I was (and still am) 40 years old and was starting some kind of new phase in my life. I returned to the start of my business life, and this was the end of my studies 12 years ago. So this 'constellation' between me and the chat partners seemed to fit.

In July 2012 I got in contact with a young student (woman) from Washington State. She was in the summer break before her 4th semester and we chatted a lot and fell in romantic love with each other. This short relationship lasted 10 weeks, then her studies began and we lost contact, but put an end with no problems or hurt feelings. In review I would call it 'summer love', nothing serious, but with much emotions and it was okay for us.

Then I felt that my chat experience was coming to an end, but I missed the chats with my 'summer love' in some way. So as one week after we separated I was asked to accept a new contact on skype (My profile was 'public' which I didn't recognized at that time, and which can be considered as the first step that led to that story), I spontaneously said 'yes' and accepted that contact request. But then I had some kind of bad feeling (intuition) and blocked the new contact 2 days after accepting the new contact without talking to her. Would I've let it that way, this book wouldn't exist as it is here now. But God and fate had other plans with me,

so here the story goes ...

Comments of the author, about the author himself

Yes, I'm a man of God, searching for him since I was born and always being guided by him as I felt him close to me, inside me, as kind of my best friend who is always there for me. Since the age of 4 years, I asked my parents about God, who he was, and my first job wish was to become a priest later in my life. So as I was raised in Christian belief, I took part in Kids Church, loved to listen to the stories of Jesus and to sing modern church songs. Later I became a Youth group leader in my church and had a lot of good and joyful experiences with Youth camps and Youth weekends. So in my Christian belief I felt home, save and the people around me were good hearted and honest with me.

This background is important to understand my acting in the following story, as without this background it might seem strange how this story goes.

But whatever you believe in, may it be God and Jesus, may it be in yourself, some higher power, some other religion or nothing at all, the story is understandable for everyone, because it touches the fundamental search for love in our lives. And this is what we humans are sharing and have in common beyond all our differences in belief, culture or live style we are in.

The structure of the story

For me the story is build up like a climb on a mountain: A smooth start, a longer ramp of gaining height, a peak experience, a descent and then a kind of walking on a plateau for a while till coming back to the starting point, but as a new person, changed by the experiences during the hike.

Last words before the story starts

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

[Bible, John 1:1-5 (NIV)]

Words can be very powerful as we all know, and from time to time this becomes visible in a way we didn't expect it. If you really love someone and tell her/him that, and the one tells you trustworthy that she/he loves you the same way, then you are in heaven and everything seems to be possible, the sky is the limit.

Words can transport and create in the listener feelings, thoughts, dreams, wishes and so on. Words can heal and words can destroy, they can lift you up or pull you down. Whatever it is, whomever you talk to, be aware of the power of your words. Words in spoken or written form are the main communication channel of us humans. Sure, sounds simple and unnecessary to talk about, but I watch that nowadays words are tending to be used to manipulate others and gain control in some way over others, for whatever reasons and goals (not only in this story but all over the different media like TV, Internet, Social media etc.). This could be considered as 'fun', but hurting others with lies or gaining their trust, or manipulating them to do things they normally wouldn't do is an act of violence, and violence doesn't fit in any kind of relationship or way how people should communicate with each other.

In our very rapid and fast changing times and manifold communication media it happens

often and easily that we lose our focus, and 'just' communicate or 'just' act without reflecting our actions from time to time.

I hope this book will give you the chance to take a break from your daily life, enter a higher reality/level of life and reflect your life as it is now with all its good and not so good aspects.

Questions and answers

And as I can already feel or hear the questions of the sceptics (which I do welcome, because they open the chances for answers and new views on things), here are some of these questions and my answers to them, and maybe this helps to get this introduction finally back to the ground of our daily lives.

Question1:

"Man, what is he talking about? I don't like to be told what I should do or in which way I should do it."

Answer:

"I don't want to teach someone how she or he should act. But as I see a big lost of universal and good values in our societies, I felt the necessity to tell you about my basic points of view concerning actual tendencies, which could lead our societies further away from their center and split the people and the invisible social glue further as it already is."

Question2:

"Why so many words in the introduction? It's a story about a Love scam, and okay, a God scam also."

Answer:

"Maybe I'm to 'blue eyed' in general and try to put too many things together in one frame. If I would only address this book to my Christian sisters and brothers who are strong and experienced in their faith in God, then I would have an 'easy game', a 'home play'. But I don't want to reach only my 'main audience' or 'family in spirit', but also the people with other focuses in life, with different backgrounds in their belief and life experiences. And so I try to describe my views on the story and my thoughts about it from different angles and in different ways, to reach as many readers as possible, because for me it is very important to communicate cross over society, and with that to already start my work for a new unity spirit in our societies. I was just 1 meter away from ruin my life, only because I was isolated from others, from their knowledge and their support. These others were always there and I guess their wish to help me also, but this isolation in society due to different reasons (I don't want to burst the frame of this book) is dangerous. And as I experienced that and survived it with God's help and my faith in him, I wish to share my experiences with many others, so that they directly or indirectly can protect themselves or others from my mistakes."

Question3:

"In the introduction and also for each chapter of the story you quoted Bible verses. Why?"

Answer:

"Without God and my belief in him neither the story would have happened at all nor this book would exist. Furthermore I was gifted with a new life by Jesus (just in the first week of the story), and this story and this book, and my insights and experiences are already a part of this new life. So I put this book in a divine context and frame to honour God and Jesus with this book, and to honour them with my honest efforts to bring this book and its message closer to the people. Without God in one's life in general, and this book in particular, it's very easy to lose your focus on the things that really count in life. The quoted Bible verses may give the reader a short break between the chapters of the story, may give her/him the chance to meditate a little on these words and their message, and then you should be able to go on with a refreshed spirit. Even if you are not a Christian, these Bible verses include comprehensible wisdom and can be transferred in daily life experiences. The core messages of the Bible verses for me are mostly: 'Have faith in God, ask him for his help and support, and he will help you and answer your questions' (rough summary). The Bible is full of life experiences and reports about these experiences and which role God plays in critical situations in life, and the Bible offers solutions and ways out of that problems. Wisdom can be found in all religions and cultures, but as I'm a Christian, and this story is also about Jesus Christ and my relationship to him, I preferred Bible verses in the context of this book."

"For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow,

so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations." [Bible, Isaiah 61:11 (NIV)]

About Privacy

Although the story is real and I didn't change or shorten it, I've changed the names of the persons concerned in the story and the names of places, just to protect their privacy ...

About romantic content

As the message of this book is a divine message, the story that led to that message, or gave birth to that message, or already had the message in it from its very start, is a love story. A love story between two people who met on skype and fell in love with each other. An in the run of the next 3 months the love became deeper and more intensive, but due to the distance of the lovers (Germany and Ghana) they just had their words to describe their love for each other and to live their love. There is no sexual content in this story, but they talk about kissing each other, hugging each other, cuddling with each other, missing each other as quite each love couple fresh in love does. So I hope this part of the story with its content of romantic love doesn't disturb you. I myself consider this romantic content as suitable for all ages, for persons from 14-16 years on.

About the content in general

I think it is good to be informed about the phenomenon 'Love scam' (even 'God scam') and its facets as early as possible, because it is an existing danger. And if it's not with the intent of gaining money from the victim, a Love scam also can be used just to 'play' with the victim, to feel the power one can have over the person who loves him. Especially during our youth we humans are very receptive for emotions and especially love. A Love scam can cause deep emotional hurt and psychological stress in the victim, so it's good to know what a Love scam looks like. Okay, this story might be an extreme example, but extremes tend to be perfect to identify and show the characteristics in a very obvious way.

About exceptions in language, syntax and punctuation

As the story is mainly a complete skype log over 4 months, there are some exceptions concerning the 'normal' punctuation of a book. The specific characteristics of the punctuation are supporting the authenticity and atmosphere of the story. Not only the language with its content mediated through words, but also the syntax of sentences, words and punctuation do their part to the authenticity and atmosphere of the story and carry an own message.

Examples:

'word ...' instead of 'word...'. The sentences have more free space and are not so compressed.

'Me', 'She' instead of real names. Representative for all of us (everyone has a story to tell).

'Rosina Surname', 'David Surname'. Just to protect privacy.

Phone numbers: '12345...'. Replacement for real phone numbers.

I. Meeting the woman of your dreams

"Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." [Bible, Ephesians 1:3 (NIV)]

So the story starts, here we go ...

[01.10.2012 10:41:43] *** Missed call from She. ***

Next day

[Tuesday]

[02.10.2012 16:38:30] She: hello my dear ... How are you doing?

[02.10.2012 16:38:38] She: My name is Rosina, and what about you?

[02.10.2012 16:57:51] *** Missed call from She. ***

Next day

[Wednesday]

[03.10.2012 20:49:03] *** Me blocked She ***

[03.10.2012 23:30:33] Me: Hi

Next day

[Thursday]

[04.10.2012 07:36:54] Me: Hi, are you looking for a friend, a lover, or something else? Sorry for being directly, but in the past I had issues with this kind of stuff, just wanna have it clear at the beginning. Oh Canada ... ;)

(Canada was mentioned as home country in her skype profile)

9 hours later in the afternoon

[04.10.2012 16:52:41] She: hello my dear .. i want you to know that you have not been too straight, okay?

[04.10.2012 16:53:27] She: i am looking for a friend, and if God permits and i meet my dream man here also, i will give thanks to God, and i am sure you understand what i mean?

[04.10.2012 16:54:25] She: so why don't you have time with me and let’s get to know each other better and see where this will lead us to, cos for me i am new here, and i am happy you have written to me also letting me know what is on your mind

3 hours later in the evening

[04.10.2012 19:28:28] Me: Hello dear, I have time now to talk to you and spend some time ...

[04.10.2012 19:56:52] She: hello, are you still there with me?

[04.10.2012 19:57:07] Me: Yes, I am

[04.10.2012 19:58:22] She: aww .. i am happy you are here now to have a chat with me ... Well, like i wrote to you earlier .. my name is Rosina and what about you?

[04.10.2012 19:58:38] Me: My name is Stefan

[04.10.2012 20:01:00] Me: And I'm glad that it matches now with our time here ... Am I right that at your home in Canada, Alberta, is it -6 hours (or more) from here? My time here is 9 p.m. now ...

[04.10.2012 20:01:54] She: my dear, am currently now in Ghana and i have been in Ghana for a week now

[04.10.2012 20:02:19] She: i am here for a visit, and i am happy to have you online, cos i am bored here and happy i have someone nice i can talk to

[04.10.2012 20:02:26] She: thank you for that

[04.10.2012 20:04:02] Me: You're welcome ... I don't wanna go too far into that, but is this kind of a 'family must visit'? I mean Ghana is a very long distance for you to travel ...?

[04.10.2012 20:07:30] She: my dear, i want you to feel free to ask me anything bothering your mind, so i can get to know you and you also can get to know me as well ... i am here in Ghana with a family friend

[04.10.2012 20:07:48] She: she is a Ghanaian, and i wanted to get to know more about Africa

[04.10.2012 20:07:58] She: so i came with her

[04.10.2012 20:08:02] She: and i am here now

[04.10.2012 20:13:18] Me: Okay, that's great, a travel is always a challenge and means normally a little, medium, big leap in one's personal development ... so do you stay there at a hotel, resort, or at your Ghanaian friend’s home or elsewhere, and how was your first week there, what important things/new things have you experienced, how do you feel different now compared to the time when you left home for the travel, and how long will you stay there?

[04.10.2012 20:15:34] She: i must say that my stay here has been quite good even though i have only been here for a week, but i know the coming weeks will be great .. i have not been to many places yet, but i have been to their beaches and the coming weeks will be more fun, cos we are planning to go to their tourist places ... also i live in my friend’s home

[04.10.2012 20:16:28] She: i have 3 months Ghanaian visa, but i think one month will be enough for me

[04.10.2012 20:20:00] Me: Good to hear that you are doing well there, and that you are about to have a great time in the coming weeks, so it's pure holiday without any burdens ... Do you have semester vacation (are you studying), and do you want something to know about me?

[04.10.2012 20:22:29] She: i have finished with my degree in business administration, so i want to have some rest from school and relax a little, and after that i will look for a job and start working ... what about you .. tell me something about yourself also?

[04.10.2012 20:28:54] Me: Congratulations ... Big step has been successfully managed, and now you are in between old and new, all the best luck for you with that ... I'm working now in IT service in a big company, and more than 10 years ago I have finished my studies ... My job is sometimes very stressy, but I need that, was born restless and am still running, but have become a little wiser and learned how to use my forces in a smart way ...

[04.10.2012 20:31:42] She: aww ... thank you for your words, and i must say that i am really glad to have you as my contact, and also to keep me happy here cos i didn’t know what i would have done now without talking with you, and i just hope you will help me always by having a chat with me so we both can get to know each other better ... and i must also say again that you do have a nice job, and i am sure your wife and children and also parents are really proud of you?

[04.10.2012 20:38:57] Me: Uhh, now to the core :) … I'm also really glad to talk to you and I will keep chatting with you from now on, this would be great. I have a life partner now for many years (not married), and am lucky with her, and we don't have children, and don't plan to have some ... Our relationship is more of a spiritual kind, we are soul mates and living together, but also have our own spare time ... My mother has already died 2 years ago, my father still lives and is proud of me ...

[04.10.2012 20:41:53] She: oooohhh, am sorry about the dead of your mother .. i guess we both have some things in common, cos for me i also lost my both parents long time ago, but i am over it and i have no sister or brother, but i am happy about what the almighty God has done for me

[04.10.2012 20:47:53] Me: Brave strong woman you are ... To manage the many hurdles in life, especially as a teenager, and now in vocational training and soon in your first job without support from your direct family is a real big personal achievement, I feel honoured to know you ... But I guess you have some good friends and maybe some relatives who are supporting you in your way ...?

[04.10.2012 20:49:42] She: thank you for your words again, and i must give all the thanks to the almighty God for making things well for me .. though it hasn't been easy, but i guess i am glad to have my aunty supporting me, and also my Ghanaian friend as well

[04.10.2012 20:56:20] Me: Good to know, and that you have a good relationship to God. I also have a very strong and deep relationship to God … With 4 years I've started to ask my parents about God, who is He, what is He doing to us etc.. I was in Kids Church each Sunday, and loved to listen to the stories of our Lord Jesus and singing the church songs (I love music (listening and playing, I've learned to play guitar since I was 8 years old)) … And later I became a church 'Youth group leader', supporting and participating in Youth camps/travels, a very good and important time in my life … If you travel in the name of the Lord, wonders use to happen and love is all around, I really love God from the innermost of my heart, and although he puts me through sometimes tough challenges in my life, it always turned out good in the end, as God means it good with 'his', and for their sake he is testing them the hardest sometimes...

[04.10.2012 21:00:20] Me: Everything is fine with you? I hope so, I always wish the best for you ...

[04.10.2012 21:00:31] She: awww ... you do not know how happy i am to have found you right now in my life my dear ... i can see we have a lot in common cos we both have the same faith, and i will not hesitate to say it could be the Will of God for we both to have met here right now getting to know each other, or don't you think so?

[04.10.2012 21:02:41] Me: Sure it is His will, He guides us, never lets us down and brought us together here in this chat ... thanks God for that ... I have a bright smile now on my face ... :)

[04.10.2012 21:03:50] She: same here my dear .. tell me for how long have you been on skype, and what experiences have you had here that made you wrote to me like that in your first message to me here?

[04.10.2012 21:16:09] Me: Okay, I've been on skype now for two months, but only talked to one person seriously for a longer time (6 weeks). It all started with my summer holidays beginning in July (okay, just one week, but in summertime (July, August) our business is a little 'hold back', so I can relax a little in between) ... . I never tried this 'chat thing' before, I was just talking to people, most of the times with students at around your age .... This one girl I talked to for 6 weeks was also a student, her parents are divorced, her father is living in Washington State, her mother on Philippines. I supported her in decisions in her life, and while she stayed for 4 weeks at her mother's home in Philippines. Three weeks ago she returned to Washington State and started her 4th semester at university. I felt that she has developed much in these last weeks, and is more focussed now on her vocational training goals. What I felt was a lacking of a straight line in her life, and I 'played' the father/brother role for her, as her father is not supporting her very well. So as I'm a 'Man of God', I do what he wants me to do, I'm open for life and have developed a good sense for what 'my next' (Jesus says, 'Love your next, that is the utmost important thing in life' (rough summary)) needs from me, ignoring my ego, which has been reduced by God’s permanently work with me ... So talking to you like that is being myself and keeping contact with God, maybe a gift to be honest and willing to serve ...

[04.10.2012 21:23:29] She: i do not know what to say, but all i can say is that ... i am happy to have met you, and i know you are going to be the best friend .. dad, brother, sister or anything you can call it my dear .. i know i have just met you, but i have the feeling that you are a nice man and indeed have a good sense of humour, and i just can't wait to get to know you more

[04.10.2012 21:26:52] She: please, i want you to feel free and ask me anything you want to know about me so i tell you…

[04.10.2012 21:31:35] Me: Oh thanks for that, it feels good to hear that, and thanks for being open to me, I do very like the way you talk to me and how we communicate ... it's just flowing and we should keep that ... And I’m also excited to get to know you more... About you ... what are your hobbies, what makes you really happy (favourite music/songs, maybe a pat), do you like to be in nature, are you spiritually sensed like feeling the being of mother nature when you are out there, do you like sports ...?

[04.10.2012 21:35:33] She: for me i love cooking, and i must say when i cook and i get comments then i become more happy, and i must say i am indoor type but do go to church every Sunday and also regularly meetings, and i am also in my church Prayer Group ..... i love Christian songs, but i do not have any favourite .. cos to me music or a song is something that must transform a person to the messages from the song, and an example are the Christian songs and the messages they carry

[04.10.2012 21:36:02] She: it helps transform you to get to your living God, and know how wonderful he is

[04.10.2012 21:37:19] She: i like swimming and also reading ... and yes, i am spiritual person as well, cos i really do fast a lot and pray a lot, and always you will find me by my Bible reading and also praying

[04.10.2012 21:37:47] She: am sure you get what i mean?

[04.10.2012 21:44:03] Me: Oh yes, I guess. You put God first and that's exactly the essence of a spiritual life, to develop yourself and with that the others around you, and amplifying that with group prayers ...

[04.10.2012 21:45:05] She: yes my dear

[04.10.2012 21:54:02] Me: What else to say ... In the 90's I studied a lot of spiritual writings etc.. Not only Christian writings (Bible) as I was used to but also Hinduism, Buddhism, common spiritual practises, teachings etc.. [04.10.2012 21:57:04] Me: Hope you are interested in that a little ...

[04.10.2012 21:57:59] She: i am reading

[04.10.2012 22:05:25] She: yes, i am really interested in that my dear, but i want to know how you feel about all this spiritual practices you have read or gotten to know of it ... in spite of Christianity?

[04.10.2012 22:12:07] Me: Oh, that's a really good question. For me the way with Jesus was always a way of inner feeling and direct belief, I mean I read something in the Bible and know that this is true or I can feel what God meant with that for us ... And I just loved to be in church, around with others in the name of the Lord ... All the further things like other religions, spiritual traditions etc. was kind of studying to satisfy my mind, the logical side of spirituality. And you are right, sometimes it tended to lead from my centre of belief

[04.10.2012 22:12:27] Me: Oh sorry, I pressed 'enter' accidently .. I will write further ...

[04.10.2012 22:16:51] Me: But the core is to love God with all your heart, and always keep the connection with Him in prayers … There's no difference in that with Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, but the ways and explanations are different, different ways but one goal. But my 'personal' God is and will always be Jesus, I mean he is my spiritual home ...

[04.10.2012 22:28:06 | Edited 22:34:21] She: i am happy to hear this, and i want you to know that i agree with the same goal as to love my dear .. and also want you to know that i have loved the Lord my God all my life, cos if i sit down and imagine how beautiful he created this earth and how wonderful the sea or ocean flows ... it's amazing .. imagine how these animals feed .. they neither plant nor sow but yet they feed, and even when they get sick they get better themselves .. all these things make me believe or see that Lord Jesus, the Son of Almighty God is a living God, and nothing can be compared to him ... recently i was watching a documentary which i do not know if you have heard of it or read of it ... it's a documentary about Jesus Christ, they said Jesus had a romantic relationship with Mary Magdalene and even got her pregnant

[04.10.2012 22:32:11 | Edited 22:33:44] She: and after the crucifixion of Jesus Christ Magdalene moved to France while she was pregnant, so when they crucified him she had no choice than to run away, and she ran to France and had the baby there .. and i find it's not appearing at all, cos they are just rampaging our living God by blurring his image, so the devil can get people confused to stop worshipping Jesus and then come to him, so he alone will not die but rather deceive more souls, so he will die with them on the judgement day

[04.10.2012 22:32:19] She: do you get what i mean my dear?

[04.10.2012 22:36:23] She: last i forget

[04.10.2012 22:37:01] She: another documentary also mentioned that Jesus had another wife called ASHA, means mother of all things

[04.10.2012 22:37:26] She: i don’t know if i have got the spelling of ASHA well

[04.10.2012 22:43:18] *** Me sent _jesus.jpg *** (I send her my favourite picture of Jesus)

[04.10.2012 22:43:21] Me: Oh yes, the bad ones, the 'humans' ignoring God and Jesus due to egoistic reasons, possessed by the devil's tricks and illusions, always trying to suppress people while telling them lies and trying to get them away from Jesus, but Jesus tells us to stay with him till judgement day, because, 'I've once raised you to me, why shall I let you fall. I will always be with you, and you will always be with me ...' (rough summary) ... And that ASHA story, I've never heard of that, but I mean mother of all things could mean mother of all illusions, but Jesus is beyond the things (material world), so why should she be his wife (in the figurative sense)? So now back to the pure light and love He is ...

[04.10.2012 22:54:51] Me: There is a Christian song like, 'When two or three are coming together in My name, I will be in the middle of them', it's a very lovely song, and singing it with two voices, it sounds very nice and uplifting … I'd like to sing this now, but due to the circumstances I'm singing it right now 'in my head' ...

[04.10.2012 22:56:01] Me: Are you still there, I'm feeling lonely ...? (Her skype seems to hang)

[04.10.2012 23:04:03] Me: I don't know what's happening right now, but I will keep in my mind the lovely words you said before, they are still touching me and making me peacefully … 'cos if i sit down and imagine how beautiful he created this earth and how wonderful the sea or ocean flows ... it’s amazing .. imagine how these animals feed .. they neither plant nor sow but yet they feed and even when they get sick they get better themselves .. all these things make me believe or see that the Lord Jesus the Son of Almighty God is a living God, and nothing can be compared to him...’ I hope I didn't say something wrong or hurt you in some way ... Maybe we ran to deep in that discussion about other beliefs ... Please talk to me, or tell me what's up with you, or is this just an technical issue? I hope we can talk again tomorrow, just tell me the time which fits for you … have a nice sleep there and may Jesus bless you with all his love ...

[04.10.2012 23:06:16] Me: I will restart my computer now ... and by the way, my email is '[email protected]' ...

[04.10.2012 23:14:21] Me: As I told you before, God is testing 'his' the most, so now he is testing me, because I easily get this feeling of loss like now, as our conversation has stopped ... But I will pray, calm down and go to sleep, and tomorrow another day will rise ... Bye for now ...

Next day

[Friday]

[05.10.2012 12:12:40] Me: Hi Rosina

[05.10.2012 12:13:16] She: Good morning my dear .. how are you doing?

[05.10.2012 12:13:40] Me: Oh, now I'm fine ... I have taken a free day ...

[05.10.2012 12:16:02] Me: I've missed you and thought of you since I'm awake ...

[05.10.2012 12:17:56] She: I miss you also, and i am happy to be with you here once again .. also i want you to forgive me for last night cos we had a light out here, and it was the first time in my entire life i have experienced something like that, and i was thrilled to have witnessed something like that

[05.10.2012 12:18:42] She: how is your girlfriend or how should i describe the relationship?

[05.10.2012 12:26:49] Me: Oh, my 'girlfriend' is at my age, and as I told you we live in one apartment and are soul mates, but we sleep in different rooms for 10 years ... After my work we are used to spend some time together, drive in the city etc.. After 'dinner' (around 7 p.m. mostly) we go our own ways ... I am then at my computer most of the times, listening to music, do some surfing in the internet etc.. ... She hasn't a boyfriend and I haven't a girlfriend ... I love here as my soul mate and take care for her, but we don't go intimate with each other like kissing, sex ... It has just developed and it's okay this way ... So as I told you I missed you, I meant this emotionally as I felt it ...

[05.10.2012 12:34:18] She: Wow .. this is the most astonishing news i have ever heard from you and your friend .. cos you believe she is your soul mate but you both do not have any romantic relationship, and i will be happy if you will be pleased to explain me something about it, so i can get the picture clear my dear

[05.10.2012 12:43:04] Me: Okay (but sorry, it could be that I have to leave my apartment in 20 min, a friend wants to meet me today, so if he rings I'll tell you, and then we can go on chatting this evening if it fits for you ... around 8 p.m.). So I've met her when I was in my early twenties, we fell in love first sight, and became a 'normal' couple like kissing, sleeping with each other etc., living in one apartment (other than now), sharing one bed and one room etc.. But after my studies as I got my first job, I moved from my student room (one room for me) to a new apartment, and she moved to there too but was hesitating at first, she loved her old apartment. One could say, 'another apartment, another type of relationship developed' … We both had our own rooms, and kissing and sex ended, faded out. We both felt sorry about that, but decided to keep our relationship, because we had a deeper kind of connection ... (just 1 min pause please …)

[05.10.2012 12:47:37] She: aww .. that’s okay by me .. you can go and we will meet in the evening and chat more. I get what you mean now, and i want you to know that i really understand and appreciate the relationship you both had, but why did you both decide to be in a relationship without having kids and also getting married? ....

[05.10.2012 12:49:03] Me: The last ten years we called ourselves like 'working community' in a spiritual sense, I mean we worked on our themes given by God (hard to describe, maybe later), and in our spare time we went out in the city and just relaxed, from an outside perspective you could say that we are very good friends who are sharing one apartment due to practical reasons ... So that's my first description for that, I've never talked to anyone about this relationship before, so I trust you fully. I don't have (and never had in my life) a 'best' friend (male or female) with whom I was able to talk about my personal problems and feelings, so I always kept up with God as my best friend, I'm sure you know what I mean ...

[05.10.2012 12:52:08] She: yes, i get what you mean, and i must say i am happy that you have faith and trust in me in a way that you can express your deepest thoughts and secrets with me, and i also assure you that it is the same way i trust you as well, and i will always be the best and loyal friend for you in everything, okay?

[05.10.2012 12:52:12] She: and like i said last night

[05.10.2012 12:52:34] She: i wouldn’t have known what i would have done if i haven't found you here

[05.10.2012 12:54:27] Me: Oh, thanks for that, I'm touched by your understanding and your friendship ...

[05.10.2012 12:56:33] Me: So how are you doing today, do you feel well and peaceful?

[05.10.2012 13:00:47] She: i am doing good and happy to be with you now again, cos last night i was worried and disturbed after we break the chat but trust me .. now that i am here with you i am happy and really feeling good, so that means my day is good and i am sure the same thing about you as well .. but i haven't asked you what church do you attend??