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Second Year After
Our Love, After Dad Died
By M.R. Leenysman
Copyright 2016, M.R. Leenysman
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December 20, 2013
Our finals were over, and Patti and I were headed home. I felt like I rocked that last exam, but wouldn’t know until the professor posted the scores online Monday. My mind during the drive kept jumping from thoughts of my Dad, to looking forward to seeing Mom and Toni, to the situation with Matt. I wished Patti and I had chosen to drive just one car back for the break, because I needed to talk, and didn’t want to wait until we got home. But we needed both cars at home, so I had to drive with just the music on my stereo.
Finally, around 6, we got home, and Mom ran from the door to the curb by the time I got around my car. I thought she was about to jump into my arms, but she pulled up short and gave me a more reserved hug, then gave Patti another. We grabbed our bags from the trunks, carried them inside, and then Mom did jump into my arms, wrapping her legs around my back and kissing my face over and over.
She unwound herself from me, saying, “I almost slipped and did that in public. I’ve missed you both, especially today, a year after...” She did not need to finish the sentence. Then she gave Patti the same treatment, but staying on her feet.
“Where’s Toni?” I asked, when they finally split apart.
“She should be on her way home from work,” Mom answered.
Just then the door opened, and Aunt Toni walked in through the back door, and squealed when she saw us. “You’re home,” she said, before giving me a long kiss, then Patti another and a short one for Mom.
“Dinner’s in the oven,” Mom said, “keeping warm. Let’s eat, okay?”
Over dinner, Patti and I brought Mom and Toni up to date on happenings at school, while we got the latest news about friends and family in Dallas. Everything went fine until the topic of Matt and Sophia came up.
“You didn’t tell me that Matt was getting emotionally involved,” Mom said. “I was a little surprised when you told me you had gotten intimate with the two of them, but that’s your business, so long as you aren’t harming the three of us. What are you going to do?”
Patti answered by saying, “At this point, Matt has only said what he feels about me, not that he wants to do anything about it. The problem is that it’s caused Sophia to doubt what he feels for her, and they’ve split up again.”
I jumped in with, “I wish we could get them both to see that it’s possible to love multiple people, even if you’ve made a stronger commitment to just one, or in my case two. I wish I could use the four of us around this table as an example, where I’m married to two of you and intimate with the third. I just don’t know how he’d react to the incest.”
“I was going to suggest you share about us, until you said that. You’ve lived with him for almost four years, Drew,” Mom said. “Don’t you know whether you can trust him by now?”
“That’s the thing,” I said. “Because Patti moved into my dorm room and Matt moved into Sophia’s room freshman year, we didn’t actually live together as roommates all that long, just hung out on double dates now and then. Now, we’ve shared an apartment this semester, which has been a little rocky, due to how Matt and Sophia have handled being intimate with us and their squabbles about it. I really don’t know if he has any opinion on incest, which worries me about telling him.”
Patti said, “You may have doubts about Matt, but I would trust Sophia to keep a secret, and I remember a copy of “Flowers In The Attic” among her books, which has some definite incest in it, so I expect she’s tolerant of it. Plus. she certainly knows Matt best. Do you want me to sound her out?”
I nodded. “That makes sense. We’ll call in a few days. Anyone else with an idea?”
Nobody had one, so we wrapped up dinner, knocked out the dishes, and adjoined to the bedroom.
Toni said, while getting undressed, “Tina and I couldn’t decide who we wanted to make love to first, so we flipped a coin. Unless you object, I’ll start with Drew, and Tina with Patti.”
Patti and I both agreed. She and Tina got into a 69, with Patti on top, while I went down on Toni, licking the moisture from her lips first, briefly plunging my tongue into her tunnel, before making a move on her clit. She was the first to cum, and Mom and Patti were both screaming their pleasure as I was climbing between Toni’s thighs and slipped myself inside her.
The thought ‘She feels like home,’ popped into my head, and took root. I proceeded to show Toni how grateful I was to be home, to be with her, in her, sliding, thrusting, bumping, our pleasures rising. Her moans told me she was close, even on the edge, but she wasn’t crossing the threshold and I couldn’t hold back waiting for her. Just before I was about to come, I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “I love you, Antonia.” She gasped, and exploded beneath me, her muscles rippling, intensifying my own orgasm, as I shot into her over and over.
I rolled towards the outside of the bed, and kissed her from above as she continued shuddering on her back.
When it ended, she looked at me, and whispered, “Was that something you said just to get me to cum, or was that real?”
“It was both. Have you ever known me to lie about love?”
“You’ve never said it to me like that,” she replied. “Nobody’s ever said it like that. I mean, guys have said “I love you” beforehand to get me into bed, or after they’ve cum as a thank you, but to say it to push me into an orgasm? No.”
“Then that’s a real shame. You should always know you’re loved.” I lowered my face into another kiss, as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
Mom finally had to push Patti away, moaning, “God honey, I can’t take any more, plus I need to pee.” Patti got up, letting Mom roll out from underneath her, licked her lips, and took one look at my cum oozing from Toni’s pussy, and lifted one of Toni’s legs, twisting Toni onto her side facing me with Patti behind her, and Patti settled her head on the down leg, and started licking up my spend. Toni and I resumed kissing, and I was soon erect again.
I felt a hand guide my cock into a mouth, and looked down to see Mom had moved between Toni and I, almost bumping into Patti’s head, and was licking Toni’s juices from my cock, and soon had me in her throat, squeezing my cock head with her muscles. I was thrusting softly into Mom’s mouth, she was squeezing my balls and when Toni pinched one of my nipples, my back locked in an arch, as I came again. Mom swallowed most of my cum, then came up and shared the rest with Toni, just as Patti brought Toni to her second orgasm. Patti extricated herself from between Toni’s thighs, and turned around to lay spooned behind her, nuzzling her neck.
“Welcome home, indeed,” Patti giggled. The four of us fell asleep, hugging each other.
December 21, 2013
I awoke at dawn, needing to piss. I rolled over the side of the bed, and headed into the master bathroom. When I was done, Mom met me at the door, doing the walk that told me to let her by. She gave me a quick kiss, but squeezed by me and plopped on the toilet. I let her have her privacy, and put on a pair of shorts and went downstairs to start coffee. Mom joined me shortly after, and together we worked on a bacon and scrambled eggs breakfast. Toni and Patti came down the stairs together, holding hands, and the four of us ate, talking and joking.
I asked Toni, “So how are things going with you and Jason? And will I ever get to meet him?”
“I hope you get to meet him soon, Drew. I think you’d like him a lot. But his business has been so busy lately, I haven’t even seen him in a week. He’s busting his ass trying to get some deadlines met so we can leave to see his family in Connecticut on Christmas Eve for a week. Maybe we’ll be able to get together after we get back after New Year’s.”
Patti and I spent most of the morning after breakfast doing Christmas shopping for friends and family, then split up for the afternoon, and bought our gifts for each other, and Patti took hers to her parents’ house to wrap, while I did my wrapping in the garage of the new house, then brought them to Mom’s house to put them under the tree.
December 22, 2013
Sunday was dedicated to wedding preparations, particularly getting the dresses for the wedding party. Patti, Mom, and Patti’s mom Carrie picked out their dresses, and Jean was doing the same in Colorado, texting Patti pictures of herself in various dresses. I spent the day hanging out with Kenny, as Duke was in Denver visiting Jean. Kenny was still hurting from his breakup, and had not found a new girlfriend yet. But despite that, he was happy for my relationship with Patti, and looking forward to standing up with me on my wedding day.
December 23. 2013
As expected, I totally conquered that last exam, with a 97, to ace the course. One semester left, with only the prospect of discord with Matt and Sophia to ruin it.
December 24, 2013
The earliest we could arrange for video calls with Sophia and Matt were Christmas Eve morning and afternoon. We told both of them that they needed to call from someplace private. If we were going to reveal my incest, they had to be the only ones to hear it.
We had breakfast with Mom and Toni before they left for work, and we wished Toni a Merry Christmas, since she was headed out of town with Jason immediately after their work days. Then at 11 AM, Patti and I sat in my old bedroom, as Sophia popped up on my laptop’s screen. I intended to let Patti take the lead.
“Hi, guys, what’s up? Why the need for secrecy?” she asked.
“We’ll get to that,” Patti said. “First, we need to talk about where things stand between the four of us, and especially how that has affected you and Matt.”
Sophia slumped. “I just don’t know if he loves me any more. He seems to be fixated on you.”
Patti frowned. “Oh, Soph. He loves you, I know he does. Do you really think the heart is an either-or situation, he either loves you, or he loves me, but he can’t possibly love us both? The heart has a limitless capacity for love, and what he feels for me doesn’t change what he feels for you, or how much. I would classify what Matt feels about me lately as an infatuation, intense but not deep, based mostly on us being intimate sexually. I sense the love he feels for you is real, and deep and forever. If it weren’t for the disputes the two of you keep having about wanting to share yourselves physically with others, while insisting there somehow be no emotions involved, you’d be engaged, too. The heart doesn’t listen to rules like that. It wants to be involved. If you could let go of the jealousy you’re feeling, it will actually help him love you even more.”
Sophia smiled a little, then said, “C’mon, Patti, would you really say that if Drew said he loves another woman?”
Time for the hidden truth. Patti returned the smile, and said, “He already does, Soph. I share him with two other women here in Dallas, heart, body and soul.”
On screen, Sophia’s eyes went wide. “What?! Why haven’t I heard about this before?”
Patti paused, then said, “Because it needs to be a secret. We wanted you to see that loving multiple people without jealousy works if you let it, but sharing about our polyamorous relationship here means letting you in on that secret. We’re telling you this because I trust you, and Drew is relying on my trust. That’s why I wanted to be sure we weren’t overheard. You can’t reveal this to anyone, not even Matt. We also need your help to know how he’d react, to decide if we tell him, but first you need to promise that you’ll leave that to us.”
“React to what? You haven’t told me anything, yet.”
Patti returned with, “And you haven’t promised, yet.”
“Okay, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die promise. So what’s this big secret?”
Patti looked to me, and I said, “The secret is that one of the women Patti and I are involved with is my mother.”
Sophia looked stunned. “You’re seriously saying you have sex with your Mom?”
I nodded, then said, “As serious as a felony charge, if it gets out. That’s how much we love each other, that we take that risk to express our love sexually. And that’s how much we’re trusting you. You’re the first and only person we’ve chosen to tell so far. What I don’t know is if I can trust Matt the same way. Because we swapped dorm rooms so early, I haven’t actually spent enough time with him to predict how he’d react. But you have. So, how would he respond?”
Sophia frowned, saying, “That wouldn’t be good, Drew. He thinks incest is sick. I had a copy of “Flowers In The Attic” in my room when he moved in, and he made me throw it out, complaining about how disgusting the incest in it was, not that I think he ever read it. No, he would not react well. Not unless he’s changed his mind in the last three years. He hasn’t brought the topic up, so I would just assume he hasn’t.”
So much for that idea. “Okay, then we’ll need to deal with him another way.” And I thought I knew how.
Sophia thought for a moment and said, “So, Patti said she shares you with two other women. If your Mom is one, who is the other? I assume she knows?”
I answered, “My uncle’s ex-girlfriend, Toni. I consider her my aunt, but she’s not blood-related, and didn’t actually marry into the family, mostly because my uncle screwed up. His loss is our gain, though. She found out the secret because we weren’t careful, and accepts it. But our relationship with her is a secret from the rest of the family, because of how it leads towards my involvement with my Mom.”
“And you love all three of them?” She still sounded doubtful.
“I do, but my strongest love and my life commitment are to Patti and Mom. The three of us consider ourselves married, already. But I love Toni, too, almost as strongly, yet without the same commitment, because it’s not what she wants for the long term. She’ll share me for now, but she wants a husband of her own, and is dating someone.”
Sophia mulled this over a while, then asked, “Patti, do you love Drew’s mom, too? I mean sexually?”
Patti grinned her most devilish grin. “Tina, that’s Drew’s mom, and Toni are both bisexual, so yeah, I make love to both of them. In fact, I made love to Tina before Drew did, and that led to their first time. I consider Tina my wife, too, not just Drew’s other wife, and love her and Toni as much as I do Drew. Now, after all this revelation, can you accept that the four of us share each other without jealousy? And from that realize that you won’t lose Matt’s love, just because he feels something for me? Drew has not reduced his love for me by loving and being intimate with other women, including being with you. Let Matt commit to you, honey, without possessiveness or jealousy, and let him feel for others as his heart leads him to feel, and if you share each other with us, or with someone else, let your commitment hold you together, instead of letting jealousy or uncertainty pull you apart. I can promise you, I’m not interested in taking him away from you, even if we could bring the two of you into our relationship with Tina. He’s yours, first and foremost. That is if you do love him enough to marry him.”
“I do, but these damn doubts keep getting in the way. You’ve given me a lot to think about, though. Thanks. And Drew? I’ll never say a word. I… I do love you, enough never to hurt you.”
My turn to grin. “We both love you, too, sweetie. That’s why we needed to butt in. It hurt us to think that we’d caused a rift between you and Matt, when we already live the way we think the two of you can. I’m calling Matt next. When you do talk to him, you can tell him Patti had a talk with you about loving openly and without jealousy, because I’m going to tell him that happened, but no more than that. You might want to take a look at some online material about polyamory, too.”
Patti ended the call, with “Laters, babe.”
An hour later, I was on Skype with Matt, without Patti. I started out blunt. “Dude, do you love Sophia? Enough to commit to her for the rest of your life?”
“Of course I do. But it doesn’t seem to be enough for her. If I even think about Patti, she freaks.”
I nodded, then said, “Patti had a chat with her this morning, all about how the heart can love more than one person, without reducing what you feel for each person. And Patti felt that she got through to Sophia, so hopefully, she’ll be more accepting. You just need to make sure she knows she’s first in your life. So, that brings me to my next question. Do you love Patti?”
He blushed slightly but said only, “Like a friend.”
“No more than that? Because that’s not what you told Patti. I’m not mad about it, but don’t lie to me.”
He blushed more. “She told you that?”
I smiled, and said, “Of course. She doesn’t keep those kind of secrets from me, because she knows I wouldn’t feel threatened or jealous. I know Patti is committed to me for life, but I would never tell her that she can’t love someone else, too, or be loved by someone else, whether that’s heart love, or making love. What would hurt me is lying about it.”
“How do you manage that?” he asked. “Not being jealous?”
I smiled. “My first thought is always that I want Patti to be happy, then I accept that neither of us want me to be the only person who can make her happy. If someone else does, I can be happy for her, and know that her commitment to me allows me the same freedom. The folks who talk about polyamory, about group marriage, call it compersion.”
He absorbed that, then asked the question I hoped we would get around to, much sooner than I expected. “And if I asked you and Patti to consider a group marriage with Sophia and me, what then?”
“We’d say no.”
He nearly whined, “Why? You just got done saying, you wouldn’t get jealous.”
“I did, Matt,” I responded, calmly. “This isn’t about jealousy. It’s about the commitment of marriage. In our view, that has got to be total. Physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, all of it. In a group marriage, we feel that level of commitment would need to be between all partners, without exception.”
Matt’s eyebrows raised. “Meaning sex between everyone.”
“Exactly. For me to take on a husband, I’d have to be attracted to him and ready to make love with him, which I do not see happening. No offense, but you’re not that guy for me, and I’m not that guy for you. Any more than Patti is that woman for Sophia. It would not balance. Patti and I have actually discussed it, and we’re agreed that if we added a spouse, it would need to be a bisexual woman who loved both of us as deeply as we love each other.”
I didn’t need to tell him that the particular discussion with Patti had only happened 40 minutes earlier. Nor did I need to tell him that Mom was already that woman. Probably Toni, too, if she ever changed her mind about marrying us.
I continued with, “That doesn’t have to be the rule you and Sophia follow, if you ever decided to pursue a group marriage with other people, but that’s what Patti and I are looking for. I’m sorry.”
“Does this mean the end of Foursome Friday, then?”
“No,” I said. “If you and Sophia can get on the same page about pursuing compersion instead of jealousy, Patti and I would be happy to resume our little tradition. We just all need to be clear that there isn’t a path to it becoming more serious than four friends having sex together, and yes, feeling some degrees of love for each other, too. Patti and I both agree that the commitment you should focus on is to Sophia, then share each other with us and others based on that commitment as a foundation. Whether we continue getting together like that after graduation, we can address later. I know you’re looking for jobs in Detroit, and Sophia probably will too. But we’re committed to staying in the Dallas area.”
Matt looked more relaxed. “Thanks, Drew. This helped a lot. And don’t take this the wrong way, but I love you, as friends.”
“I love you, too, Matt. Have a Merry Christmas! And call Sophia!”
Patti was going to spend Christmas Eve with her parents, then would be back to Mom’s house for Christmas Day partway through the morning. As I mentioned earlier, Toni was spending Christmas Eve with Jason’s family, so Mom and I were going to go over to her parents, which was our usual routine. Mom stopped by the house after work, not even getting out of the car while I carried our box of gifts outside and got into the car.
On the drive over, I brought Mom up to speed on our conversations with Sophia and Matt, and she thought we had handled it as well as we possibly could.
Grandma Anna and Grandpa Scott welcomed us in, saying that Aunt Maria was about 15 minutes away. We sat in their living room, and Grandma Anna asked, “So how are plans for the wedding coming along?”
I answered, “Patti and Mom shopped for dresses two days ago. Patti and I are going to work on the invitations once Christmas is done, and get them out to everyone.”
“Where are you going to honeymoon?” Grandma asked.
“We’re going to Acadia National Park with Mom over Memorial Day week to scatter the last of Dad’s ashes. Assuming we each start new jobs right after, we won’t have time for a separate honeymoon trip, so that will have to count as it.”
Grandpa teasingly asked, “You’re taking Tina on your honeymoon?”
“Separate hotel rooms, Dad,” Mom answered, chuckling. “I can shop in Bar Harbor while they, you know.” We would indeed get two rooms, but they’d be adjoining, just as our rooms for the wedding were arranged. The second bathroom would see more use than the second bed.
Aunt Maria showed up, solo. Apparently she had broken up with her latest boyfriend. “The asshole’s married. His wife showed up yesterday, screaming about how I was trying to steal her man, and I told her I didn’t know he was married, and she could have him back, if she really still wanted him, but I was done. Why do men do that?” She was looking right at me.
I answered, flippantly, “Just the dumb ones, Auntie. The smart ones get permission first.”
That caused Grandpa to blow beer out his nose. Tending to him kept Maria from following up, but oh, the looks she was giving me.
Dinner was an assortment of hearty soups, with big pieces of french bread to sop everything up. I had a serving of each type, trying to keep my mouth full and avoid the looming discussion.
Maria finally cornered me during dessert. “What did you mean about getting permission? Do you and Patti…?”
Mom was watching from across the living room, a bemused smile on her face. I got myself into this, and no way was she going to rescue me from it.
I nodded. “She and I have a similar philosophy on love, Auntie. We both believe that the heart has an infinite capacity for love, and we accept that we are not the only ones capable of bringing each other happiness, so we don’t get jealous about it, so long as we’re being honest with each other.”
“Have you…?” she half-whispered.
I chuckle and whispered back, “Done it? Yes, usually we’ve added another person or two to our bed and made love to them together, but we’ve also made love to other people on our own. Do you want all the salacious details?”
“No, no, that wouldn’t be appropriate, would it?” Her face was flushed, and from her eyes I could tell she really wanted to hear more, but thought she shouldn’t. Her nipples were poking through her well-filled blouse, so she’d obviously heard enough to get turned on.
“Does your Mom know about this?” Maria asked.
I nodded, saying, “She’s aware of it. We’ve actually had some pretty good conversations about the emotional aspects of it, that I think she’ll apply in her own life going forward, as she dates more.”
Maria sighed, before saying, “Gawd, if some guy came to me saying he had his wife’s permission, I’d never believe him.”
“Ask to talk to her, then. Any guy who actually has permission won’t be bothered by you checking on it, because he already knows her reaction to the question and her answer. And who knows? You might get a threesome out of it.”
Maria’s cheeks went deep red, and a shiver went through her, and she hugged herself to me, and I felt her abdomen ripple against mine, while her breasts pressed into me. Holy shit. Did I just make her orgasm, just from talking about my sex life? Or was it talking about hers? Either way, she was quietly cumming in my arms.
We had the attention of the whole family by that point. Maria jerked away from me, whispered, “I’m sorry,” and dashed to the bathroom. Mom followed her, throwing me a questioning look. I could only shrug.
About 15 minutes later, they came back, and Grandma and Grandpa just ignored the whole thing.
We did our gift exchange. The only notable gift was a tool set I got from Grandpa, an exact match to one he’d gotten Dad five years ago, that was sitting in the garage, and could be considered mine now. I had just used it a couple days before, in fact, to repair a picture frame. Well, we had a second garage now, so the tools would have a home. But I couldn’t figure out if the duplication was intentional, or accidental, and didn’t really feel a need to ask.
We said our goodbyes, and headed home, me driving.
On the way, Mom said, “I almost told her.”
I asked, “Aunt Maria? About you and me?”
“Yeah. You rattled her tonight, and she was feeling really guilty about getting turned on by her nephew. She tried to play it off as she was visualizing some women she knew and their husbands, but if imagining you and Patti in a threesome with her weren’t in the mix, too, I’d be amazed. I was really tempted to admit to her how much you turn me on, so she shouldn’t be surprised at having the same reactions to you, and that it was okay.”
“Would you actually tell her?” I asked.
“Maybe,” she answered. “I’m thinking about it, actually. Would that bother you?”
“If the people we tell can be trusted, and I’d certainly trust her, I’d be happy just to have fewer people to lie to, you know? It was so hard talking to her about our philosophy without blurting out that you were one of the people we shared our love with.”
She teased me with, “Was it hard? Was it really, really hard?”
“She is as gorgeous as you, Mom. But no, I was not erect, even when she orgasmed against me. I was too surprised by it to react. Another 20 seconds in that clinch, though...”
“Is my Drew looking for another conquest?”