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Rx For Sex
CHAPTER ONETHE CASE OF RACHEL N.Though it may seem unusual to present this central case history in its full detailed length, it is nevertheless necessary to portray the full personality of Rachel N., from childhood on, as her life became embroiled and intertwined with other lives and case histories. It is important to the extent that we are all the product of the various incidents and episodes that mold and shape our destinies.In any event, the life story of Rachel N., as recorded in clinical files, and told largely in her own frank and frequently coarse but realistic language, will serve to point up some of the reasons behind her bizarre actions as a mature woman, and a professional nurse.Rachel N., was the daughter of John and Evelyn N. She was a most lovely little girl, well-adjusted, possessing superior intelligence, and a profundity of curiosity. Her hair was almost platinumcolor, and she had the deep dominant brown eyes of her father.Her brother Ted, two years her senior, in sharp contrast to Rachel, was more like her mother. His hair was black, and his eyes were a penetrating blue.This was what everyone would have called "a nice family."There was a tremendous closeness in the family. But as in all families, one of the children was close to the father, and the other was close to the mother. In this family, it was Rachel who was close to her father, and Ted who found solace and comfort in the company of his mother, a glorious-looking woman of twenty-seven.There was no vulgarity-no commoness-there was no use of profanity in the household, except for an occasional outburst by the father when he would become discomfited by some minor happening. All in all, this was the kind of family that produces presidents, governors, leaders of nations, and leaders of men.On Sundays, this was the kind of a family that one might see at the park on a picnic-a wonderful, close-knit group of individuals.All might have gone well, and things might not have turned out as they did, except for the fact that when Rachel was ten years old, and they were returning home from an outing a terrible accident occurred and Evelyn was instantly killed.Though Rachel had not been as close to her mother as to her father, she was shattered by the loss. Not only that, but there was a scar that shredded her young back from the right shoulder blade to her over-mature buttocks.Where before she had been unblemished, now she was a creature of disfigurement-that is, she was such in her own mind. Ted was unhurt and scarred not at all, but John, her father, was to carry an ugly scar across his cheek for the remainder of his life.After the accident, things changed in the family. The closeness that had been there before was gone. Rachel no longer was contented by the bounce of her father's knee. Nor was she comforted by the blessedness of his smile. She was lost to all of the reality of the world save for eating, sleeping, and the other routine procedures of everyday living.So it was that she turned to a world of daydreaming-a world of fantasy. In this world, she pictured herself as the nurse who had tried so desperately to help the family in their time of trial.This nurse's name was Floe, and she was a beautiful woman-red-haired, soft looking, with a mysterious smile.In the beginning, it was merely a remembrance of kindness, but then one day, another feeling cropped up in the young girl's breast. It was a nebulous feeling of delight as she remembered Floe's mysterious smile and soothing hands.Unconsciously, lying in bed-according to her tape-recorded account-Rachel's hands began to move about her own young body. At first, she had no conscious thoughts of sexual gratification, but then as her hands reached her lower abdomen, she found herself exploring further, and when her finger touched her small but aroused genital area she was delighted by the same aroused tickling feeling that she had gotten before when she would straddle her father's leg. This then, was Rachel's first overt attempt to sat isfy herself by masturbation, even though at the time she did not know that she was masturbating.That day the family slept late, for it was Sunday, but Rachel, once she had aroused herself, could not sleep. She felt the need for some affection, some pampering. It had been a terribly long time since she had received any affection-the type of affection that a young child craves, desires, and needs. She got out of the bed, and went to her father's room. He was still asleep, but she quietly slipped into the bed with him, and cuddled close to his underwear-clad form. She was not trying for conscious sexual gratification-all she knew was that to have her body close to his made her feel good.As she pressed closer to him, he called out to Evelyn, his departed wife, and in his sleep he pulled Rachel close to him. She could feel his masculine hands hugging her, and then the touch of them upon her buttocks. Her father was still in the fog of sleep-in the never-never land wherein one is not quite aware of what one is doing-but still, very shortly, she could feel the protrusion of his erection as it grew up to touch her throbbing young lower abdomen. Almost totally unfamiliar with the male sexual anatomy, she reached down her hand to examine her father's penis. She knew nothing of pubic hair, and the touch of her hand on his heavy growth thrilled her even further. By that time, he was awakening, but he was still clouded by his desire, coupled with the fact that he actually was dreaming of sexual activity with his deceased wife. When Rachel moved her hand along his penis, he pressed his stomach closer to hers and went into an uncontrollable ejaculation. She thought he was urinating and it frightened her. She tried to draw away from him, but he groaned and clutched her to him more tightly, moving his hand to her genital area."I didn't know what Daddy was doing to me," she said in a frank, detailed tape-recorded interview. "All I knew was that it felt good. I suppose that when he moved his hand down to my pussy, he must have gotten some of the spraying semen on it, because it was all slick and wet. It was a good feeling though, and I pushed my belly close to him!"I knew that something was happening other than his urination, or what I thought was urination, but I didn't know just what. He was groaning and jerking all over the place, and calling out to Mama. All at once, though, he woke up. His face turned pale and ashen when he saw who was in the bed with him. I guess it was a terrible shock. He wasn't mad or anything like that, though, he was just shocked. He mumbled something that I didn't understand, and ran quickly into the bathroom. I could still see his erection protruding out of his shorts as he fled from the room!"Nothing more was said of the incident, but Rachel thought about it at length during the next several days. She could remember the delight she had experienced when her youthful abdomen had been rubbing next to that of her father, and the sexual thrill she had gotten when his rough finger had tickled her clitoris.Her father was drinking quite a lot in those days, and this served to stimulate Rachel's desire for further gratification, for sometimes he would pass out, half-naked on his bed. She would go into his room, more often than not catching him with a nocturnal erection."I would tiptoe in," she explained to the case interviewer. "A lot of times, Daddy would have on what men call a piss hard-on. I didn't know about that of course. All I knew was that I was lonesome, and the sight of it sort of gave me a feeling of relief. It also made me want to get into the bed with Daddy. I could almost feel his stomach next to mine. I was awfully lonesome."But Rachel's father made it a particular point not to allow that to happen again. He could hardly look Rachel in the eyes. He took particular pains to make sure that their physical contact was kept to a minimum. Occasionally however, she was able to sneak a hug, or a quick sitting on his lap, but this latter was done only in the presence of Floe, who was at that time coming over quite frequently.In a way, Floe's visits helped to satisfy Rachel's normal need for affection. Rachel even admitted that she could get some warm satisfaction by cuddling next to Floe.In the meantime, Rachel had learned to masturbate, and was perfecting that art by vicarious thoughts not only of her father, but of her brother Ted. In addition to that, she was becoming able to reach a satisfying goal of sexuality-that is, an infantile climax-by thinking of Floe. There was one time when she caught Floe in the act of urination, and saw her vulva. As Rachel put it, in her own words, recorded on tape:"I didn't know anyone was in the bathroom, I went in perfectly innocent. Floe was seated on the pot. She was just through peeing I guess, because she was wiping herself off with a piece of toilet paper. I must have appeared startled, but she made no mention of the fact. She just gave me that mysterious look of hers, and smiled. Boy! She had a pretty pussy! Of course, I couldn't see all of it, but I could see the patch of hair. It was red, not blonde like mine. I could also see a little of where the lips of her pussy parted. I really became interested in sex organs then! I wanted to touch Floe's thing right then, but I was afraid of what she might say or do if I brought it up. I guess I was getting fairly precocious about sex by that time, but still, I had not ever thought of penetrating myself. As a matter-of-fact, I don't really think I knew much about what a pussy was for at that time except that when I tickled my clitoridal area, it elicited great feelings of pleasure."And now Rachel was tickling herself more than ever, trying in some way to substitute sex for affection. This would have been all right, except that soon she came to care little for the effection part, and was concentrating on sexual stimulation more than ever."By the time I was eleven," related Rachel, "I was able to get a real glow on. I still had my cherry though, and I had not tried penetration, having learned to bring on a climax purely by thinking about someone and playing with myself externally."Ted was growing by leaps and bounds, and was real big for his age. He had a habit of going about the house in his undies. I was more than curious about his genitals, and though I always managed a demure blush, I never missed an opportunity to sneak a peek at his penis!"Now, here we have a case of normal desire and need for affection that had been channeled into something else. This child, Rachel, had reached a point of what could be termed habitual sexual thoughts. This is much akin to Pavlov's conditioned response, wherein a response is elicited, governed by a certain stimulus-this stimulus is in turn strengthened by the response, and so on. All in all, it is a vicious cycle. The stimulus elicits the response, and the response strengthens the stimulus, which in turn elicits a stronger response, ad infinitum....Her young breasts were coming out, and there was a curve to her buttocks that had the roundness of womanhood. She had begun to menstruate, and there was the first sign of hair in her pubic development.At school, her conversation with other girls was more or less centered on the male of the species, and a great deal of giggling accompanied each session of talk."I had never really openly discussed sex" said Rachel, "But naturally we girls finally plunged into that area of discussion. We would mainly talk about boys, but then one of the girls brought up the subject of queers-you know, fruits, homosexuals. I thought it was fascinating, but I wondered about myself, for I was still thinking a lot about Floe. Anyway, we talked about sex a lot. I was masturbating all the time then, at least once every day, and sometimes two or three times. I still had not had any penetration though, but some of the girls had. Some of them were already screwing, or at least they claimed that they had been screwed. One of them said she had "sucked a dick.' I don't know why, but that idea repulsed me".As the reader will note, Rachel's development was following normal lines of progress. The only thing was that she was progressing at a more tepid degree of development. This was helped along when she met Erin K.Erin was a merry, cheery girl of well-to-do parentage. She was nineteen, and Rachel was nearing that age, when they met. Like Rachel, she was blooming into a most lovely young lady. But unlike Rachel, Erin was much more sophisticated.She was more worldly wise when it came to matters of sex.Rachel found herself attracted to the girl at their first meeting. It was as if some invisible tie was drawing them together. They became inseparable, and spent most of their time together. Their conversations ran the gamut from sexual matters to talk of the weather, and it was inevitable that they find themselves together some time, shrouded in a cloak of privacy. The first time it happened, Erin was spending the night with Rachel. Ted had gone out, and her father (Rachel's) was at Floe's. This left the two girls alone together.As they prepared their supper, their conversation was as usual. They talked of boys, and of the things they knew about. Their manner was relaxed, warm, friendly, and occasionally Erin would let her hand touch Rachel's shoulder lightly. They were at the sink after supper, when Rachel noticed another look come into Erin's eyes, as Erin blatantly posed a question:"Have you ever really had sex, Rachel?", she questioned.Rachel would have taken exception to the remark from anyone else, but not so from Erin. Actually, she was pleased."How do you mean?" she retaliated. "If you mean with a boy, no.""What have you done, then?" went on Erin. "Have you ever done anything to yourself?"At this point in the conversation Rachel hesitated. But then, under Erin's probing darts of interrogation, she gave in, and admitted to having fingered herself. Erin then asked Rachel if she had ever achieved penetration, and Rachel replied in a truthful negative."I really didn't know what was going to happen," Rachel went on. "I knew she had something on her mind, but I didn't know exactly what. I was aroused. I don't mind telling you that for a moment, there was a look on Erin's face almost like the one that I had seen on Floe's. Her eyes were milky looking like they even didn't see. It was like I was in the room with a stranger-a stranger who was fascinating, mature-wantable!""She just walked over to me, and gently cupped a hand over one of my breasts. I know we were both pretty young, but still I knew that something powerful was taking place. She squeezed my tit real good, and the next thing I knew, she was undoing my dress-top. Hell, I was surprised-wouldn't anyone be? I didn't resist at all though. I wanted something just as bad as she did. I could feel my breath bounding up inside me, and I felt like a explosion was going to errupt in my stomach. I pushed myself up right close to her, and I could feel our hearts pounding against each other's!"Being afraid of detection, Rachel suggested that they go into her bedroom."I was so foolish," declared Rachel. "I was just trembling all over. I know that I would have pissed all over myself if someone had only touched my pussy. When we got into the bedroom, I was like a whore without a pussy. I didn't know what to do. I thought I'd die! I'd dreamed of doing things with someone else, and I thought I knew the score. Shit, I was naive as hell! Erin seemed to sense my hesitancy, though, and she was as gentle as a lamb with me. I felt the heat of her lips on mine, and her tongue flicking into my mouth, touching the tip of my own and the roof of my mouth. For some silly reason, I wondered if a dick might not have felt the same way. All at once, I didn't think sucking one would be so detestable."Well, anyway, by then Erin had gotten me about half undressed, and I was on the bed. I could feel the probing of her fingers under the crotch of my panties. She kind of let her finger just slip between the lips of my pussy, and when she did I nearly went out of my mind. But, she moved her hand up then, and began to massage my stomach. I was totally naked, but she still had on all of her clothes. She asked me if I would like to see her pussy, and I told her that I would like that very much. Even before I looked upon it, I had already decided what it would be like-those two lips parting into the fleshy pink of her insides!"Anyway, she got onto the bed right alongside me, and I started to undo her dress. We were both hot as firecrackers by then, and I could feel her hands-her fingers pinching me. They were like little tweezers as they brought my flesh into undulating peaks of excitement!"As Rachel went on with the telling of her tale, her eyes shone with the excitement of one possessed. Her body twisted in the chair, and one could readily see that she was aroused by simply thinking of the long-past episode.She went on to tell: "Well, I was undoing her dress, that is, her blouse-Her titties were bigger than mine, and they were more Soft and palpable. I got the finest thrill out of feeling her nipples grow stiff and stand straight up under my inexperienced fingers!"Rachel's conditioning was becoming complete, as the stimulus of Erin's erotic desires fed the fires of passion in her soul. There was a new feeling welling up in Rachel. Also, there was a tenderness about being alongside Erin; and Erin knew what she was doing. Her deft and practiced hands moved from one blooming curve of Rachel's body to another. Finally, when Rachel was responding to her every caress, Erin asked her if she was ready for the insertion of something into her vagina. Rachel described what happened as follows:"Like I said, I was trembling all over, and my flesh was all goose-pimply. My pussy was well-lubricated, but I was still afraid to have anything put inside of me. When I told Erin of my fears, though, she only laughed at me. She told me that she would be real gentle, and that it would be better to lose my cherry to a finger than to a penis. She said that was the way she broke hers, you know, by sticking a finger into her vagina."I was still fearful, but she coaxed me to a position where my legs were sort of hanging over the side of the bed. She got right down to it, and I was totally unprepared for what took place. She put her mouth on my vulva, and the thrill was sharper than about anything I had ever experienced. She was sucking me-I mean really sucking, not just licking and probing, though she was jabbing the entrance to my vagina with the tip of her tongue. She was also making little sloppy smacking noises. All of it combined literally threw me into a frenzy. She did that for a little while, and then she let her mouth stray to my anal area. I don't know who taught Erin about sex, but she lost no time in teaching me. She brought me to a pinnacle of passion with her tongue, and then just as I was about to experience a mature orgasm, I felt her finger go into me. It went right on in, rupturing my hymen in one swift thrust. I must have cried out in both pain and sheer delight, because Erin stopped for a moment."But then Erin began to stroke me some more. I came on the spot-a tremendous orgasm-my first mature one. She must have reached some sort of a climax also, for she put her mouth back onto my pussy and I could feel her body jerking and throbbing. Those little smacking sounds were very prevalent then, and they heightened my desire. I simply couldn't get enough, and I forced my lower abdomen to Erin's lapping mouth. In a minute, though, she stopped again, and asked me if I would like to put my mouth on her pussy. Frankly, I did not really know how to go about it, but Erin was very competent in her instructions. She got on her back, and put a pillow under her rump. Then she told me to start kissing her on the mouth."I went right to it, and the taste of her saliva was something tremendous. I suppose some of my own juice was still lingering on her lips. Anyway, she really responded to my loving! Her belly was touching mine, and our breasts were nipple-to-nipple. In a few minutes, she began to push my head down to her breasts. I felt her nipples stiffen between my lips, and I suppose I would have kept that up except that she pushed my face down to her stomach. All the time, she was giving me instructions about what to do. I put my tongue into the pit of her navel. That satisfied her for a moment, but then I felt her hands moving my face further down. I could smell her genitals even before I got to them. She wasn't really hairy down between her legs, though she did have quite a bit up on her lower abdomen."Well, I didn't have to really do much of anything, because she was doing most of it for me. She opened up her legs real wide, and the next thing I knew I was looking at the shining lips of her vulva. I dove right to it. I put my tongue into her. and became frantic over the taste and the sounds that I was making on her pussy!"These sounds were something else! Once, her pussy made a noise all by itself. I suppose it was due to some air that I blew into her. When she reached her climax, she grabbed me by the breasts, and tickled my nipples furiously. I don't know what it was, but a thin, slick discharge came out of her. It was sort of white, and pungent-tasting. I really didn't like the taste of it, but the thought of having some of her juice on my lips was excruciatingly wonderful!"The girls spent most of the remainder of the night in mutual masturbation, cunnilingus, and more diversified forms of sexplay, including but not limited to anal stimulation by the use of their fingers and tongues. For some reason, Rachel's father did not arrive home for the night, nor did he come home the next morning. This gave the girls a further chance to explore the intricacies of sexual involvement. Rachel was extremely gratified by the session that morning-a session which involved her brother Ted, and a situation that was to further condition her for more daring sexual experiences, though it left her with a considerable guilt trauma. In her words:"Erin and I were on the bed, and believe you me, I was satisfied! She wasn't, though. I didn't know anyone could want so much sex! We had just finished eating each other, and were lying quietly, when all at once, she asked me if I had ever done anything with my brother. I was not prepared for that, and I knew that it was wrong. I told her so too, but she only laughed at me again, and told me that she had a good mind to go and get into the bed with him. I was really frightened then. Hell, I was afraid he might tell on us! Erin was gay as a sparrow about the whole thing though, and before I could stop her, she was out of the bed, nude and giggling. All at once, the whole thing seemed funny, almost hilarious. I joined into the spirit of the situation, and before you could say Jack Robinson, we were peeking into Ted's room and our sides were splitting with mirth. Not only that, but again I was unprepared, for Ted was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had on a gigantic hard-on, and he was masturbating. I knew it was wrong to entertain the idea of sexual manipulation at the hands of my brother, but then I remembered the time I had held my father's penis, and the thrill I had gotten from that."Erin was absolutely frantic to get into his room, and I guess we made too much noise, because he stopped right in the middle of a long stroke, and looked in our direction. 'What the hell are you doing there' he yelled. I didn't know what to say, but Erin did. 'We want some lovin,' she answered in a flamboyant manner, and looked at me and then back to him."Well, I don't think I'll ever forget the scrambling of Ted as he tried to cover himself. Perhaps if it had just been Erin alone he might have reacted differently, but as it was, he looked afraid-probably he was as nervous about the situation as was I. His penis was fully erected, and even after he had managed to get himself under the sheet I could still see the bulge where it was poking upwards."Erin was giggling like mad, but there was a misty look in her eyes. She ran to the bed and jumped right in, zooming her hand down to grab poor Ted's penis. Then we were all in the bed laughing, tickling, and playing. Ted's original apprehensiveness was gone, and we had a pillow fight. Once, Ted plopped me real hard. For some reason, it excited me sexually, and the look that passed between us could not have gone unnoticed. Erin said, 'What have we here!' I didn't have an answer ready, but then it suddenly dawned on me that here I was in the bed with my brother, and I was sexually aroused by him. I might flee the room had he not deliberately reached out and grabbed one of my breasts with his hand.