Price of Love ebook

PRICE OF LOVE

PAPERBACK ISBN 978-1-7398983-0-4

EBOOK ISBN 978-1-7398983-1-1

Copyright © Sandra Robins 2022

All right reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher.

To my parents.

Thank you for your support and vast depths of love.

I love you!

Sarah

The pink neon sign shimmered and flashed. I stood there, paralyzed with fear, even though I knew that I didn’t have the luxury of choice. Any choice I had, had vanished two jobs and two loans ago. One thought kept slipping through my mind: If I do this, my grandmother will be able to stay in a private care home, receiving the best care in town.

As a child, I lost my parents in a car accident. I only remember them vaguely. My grandmother is all I have left; she raised me on her own, as best as she could, which I am forever grateful for. I was thinking of her, standing on the threshold of a place I would never, ever consider entering of my own free will, not to mention what I was about to do. I must have searched the entire internet until I found a place called “Lotus Flower”. I knew from the reviews I could make a lot of money working there; that’s why I wanted to do it. It was about the money and about the time—the time my grandmother had left.

Feeling the tension, I pressed the handle, and opened the door. The room was less dingy than I had imagined. The mild tones reminded me more of a relaxation and massage studio than of a brothel. The young girl at the front desk measured me with her eyes, assessing my qualities. She wore a heavily cut blouse and shorts, and at that moment I regretted not being blessed with bigger boobs.

‘May I help you?’ she said, sending a sweet corporate smile in my direction.

‘I have an appointment with the owner of the premises. I’m looking for a job.’ Phew! I did it. I wasn’t sure how I managed to get the words out of my mouth—the mere thought of what I was about to do made my palms sweat.

‘Last door on the left, please knock three times and enter. The boss is waiting for you.’

‘Thank you,’ I answered and headed hurriedly to the door. If I was going to turn back, this would be the moment to do so. Nevertheless, I knocked three times, and on a polite ‘Come in,’ I walked through the door.

I was greeted by a man in his 60s, who handed me some documents to fill out as I sat down at the desk opposite him. He looked at me curiously, asking me one simple question, ‘Why?’

‘Why do I want to work in a place like this? I need money,’ I answered truthfully.

‘Everyone needs money, but there are other ways to earn it. You seem nice and, no offence, quite innocent. I’m not sure if this place is what you are looking for.’ He studied me closely.

‘Stand up,’ he asked gently. I did so immediately.

‘Put your hands up.’ I did as he asked.

‘Stand on one leg.’ Again, I fulfilled his request.

‘Good,’ he said softly.

He stood up and walked towards me, circling around me like a hawk stalking its prey. I was wrong in thinking that I was dealing with a friendly uncle.

‘You are cute,’ he murmured. He took a lock of my hair and sniffed it, sending chills down my spine. What am I doing here? Money, I need money! The determination returned.

‘Good, very good.’ He was still talking to himself. ‘Take off your shirt.’

I looked at him in disbelief. He noticed the defiance on my part, because he repeated harshly:

‘Take off your shirt and your bra, too,’ he added with a glint of amusement in his eyes.

It was good to know that the situation amused him. I, unlike him, was terrified. I had two choices: do what he said or run away. Like a robot, I removed my t-shirt, hesitantly reaching for the clasp of my bra. The clothing landed on the floor. I stood, undressed from the waist up in front of a stranger.

He came up to me, placing a big cold hand on my chest. I shuddered at the foreign touch on my body. A part of my mind protested vigorously, and I had the urge to remove his paw, spit on him and run away. What was I doing? I counted to ten in my head, focussing on my goal. This wouldn’t take long. At least, that was my hope.

The man twisted my nipple a little more and began sliding his hand down my pants. Then he sniffed his hand. Frankly speaking, sniffing was an understatement. He inhaled the scent.

The phone rang. The conversation was short and to the point. Only a few remarks like ‘yes’, and ‘I understand’, as he focused all his attention on me, or rather, on my bare breasts.

‘I have the perfect girl for this job. The rate is the same as always.’ He grinned at me with his teeth, and he hung up the phone.

‘It’s your lucky day. Get dressed, I have something better for you. You want to make more than you could here? I’m talking really big money and classy clients.’

I looked at him, having no idea what he was talking about. I reached for my bra and put it on hastily. ‘Same as here’, he circled with his hand, for added effect, ‘But more exclusive.’

The door opened, and an elegant woman entered. Well dressed, about fifty, perhaps older. She looked at me, and a wide grin came to her lips.

‘Is that the one?’ she motioned at me.

I picked up my shirt in a hurry and put it on.

‘I’ll take her. She’s pretty.’

She placed an envelope on the table, which landed in the man’s desk drawer in no time.

The only thing my mind registered was, that I was sold.

* * *

A black limousine was parked in front of the building. Leaning against the car was the driver, who upon seeing us straightened up and opened the door to the luxurious interior.

‘There is no need, Marco,’ said the lady, ‘I know a café at the end of the street, I think we can talk there,’ she looked at me expectantly.

I nodded gently, permitting what was to come. We walked on for a while in complete silence. She opened the café door and let me pass.

‘What coffee would you like?’ she asked politely, looking at me with a smile.

‘I’ll have a latte,’ I mumbled out.

She turned towards the waitress at the counter and ordered. I had a brief moment to look at her. The well-tailored coat seemed very expensive. She wore a pair of flat-front trousers and high-heeled shoes. She was holding a leather briefcase in her hand. The café wasn’t busy, they were going to close soon, bearing in mind the late hour of the day. Soon, two aromatic drinks were placed in front of us, and we seated ourselves at the end of the café. I took a sip of my latte and hugged the cup tightly with my hands. To any outsider, we looked like two acquaintances having a cup of coffee. However, I was aware of my situation, and I could not control my hands trembling. I gripped the cup even tighter, finding it hard to act confident with my whole body shaking.

The woman reached into her leather briefcase and handed me a bundle of documents.

‘Before we start, you have to sign this. It’s a confidentiality agreement.’

She handed me a pen. I looked at her surprised. The hesitation on my face must have been visible, because she started to explain as if she has had this conversation hundreds of times before.

‘Signing these papers does not obligate you to work for me. I need to make sure that everything you find out will stay between us. If you decide to work for me, you will be given a contract to sign. Each contract covers six months, and you can either renew it or leave. However, keeping everything you come to know a secret, is binding for the rest of your life.’

I looked at the folder; it sounded like a deal with the devil. I pulled out the papers in one confident motion and read them through to the end.

In a fit of madness, I signed two copies of the document. I left one for myself, putting it in the folder, and I handed the other to the woman.

‘I am Suzanne,’ she finally introduced herself, ‘Most people call me Sue.’ She smiled gently, packing her copy into her briefcase. ‘Let’s get down to specifics. The money you can make with me is huge. Our clients treat the girls with respect. They are rich and influential men or women, depending on your preference. You might need to work at different times of the day. Are you studying?’

I nodded in confirmation and gripped my coffee mug tightly again.

‘That’s a good thing. I respect girls who have plans in life and are ambitious. If you have a job, you have to take a leave of absence for the duration or give it up altogether. Unfortunately, it is difficult to balance everything, and I know from experience that a “regular” job no longer seems worthwhile in this situation. Every girl works five days a week. All weekends are mandatory. You can choose which days of the week you want to work. Meetings usually consist of dinners, banquets. Your job is to make our clients’ time pleasant. Sometimes it is just about providing company at parties; smile, look good and speak as little as possible. More often, it’s dining with the client, relaxing and satisfying their needs as much as possible. You know what I mean, don’t you? Sometimes you will have to satisfy two customers at once, but don’t worry about that for now. Everything, I repeat, everything must take place with your permission. Do you understand?’

‘Yes, I think I understand what I’m agreeing to.’

‘All right, then. Think about this again,’ she said and handed me the latest Samsung, ‘I saved my contact number. Please, text me your address when you are ready. My driver will pick you up tomorrow at ten in the morning, and you will meet the other girls. We will then discuss the details of the contract.’

She stood up and hugged me. It took me completely by surprise. She said I was cute, and left.

I sat down wearily in my chair, thinking about what I had just gotten myself into. I could still back out. I probably came off as a total idiot in this meeting. I had so many questions, and I didn’t ask a single one. I sipped my already cold coffee, glancing distrustfully at the phone I got from her. After considering the pros and cons, I wrote a text message with my address and sent it off.

* * *

I woke up before my alarm and, even though I had plenty of time, I was almost late for my meeting. I took a shower and thoroughly applied lotion all over my body. My long red hair decided to rebel and curled itself more than usual. After unsuccessful attempts at styling into an elaborate hairstyle, I pinned it up into a loose bun. Everything was going wrong. I spilled coffee on my favourite T-shirt, meaning I had to change into a green blouse, jeans and black suede stilettos. I was used to wearing sneakers every day, so I decided to give myself a boost with sexy shoes.

The driver who came to pick me up turned out to be the same man I had last seen outside Sue’s limo. This time he came in a black SUV with tinted windows. I hoped that no one I knew saw me get into it because I didn’t want the gossip to start. The driver, named Marco, was very polite to me. However, he was unwilling, or unable to answer most of my questions. Probably, like me, he had signed an agreement to remain silent. The conversation wasn’t going too well, so I gave up and decided to use these moments to relax as much as I could. We passed the town where I lived, entering a road between fields with grazing sheep and horses. The wooden fence turned into a grey, high wall of stones; finally, we drove up to a gate with a guard, followed by a gravel road leading to an enormous building. It crossed my mind that it would be difficult to escape from here. The property looked very impressive, like an old mansion with the building arranged in a U-shape. The grey stone glistened in the sunlight. I wondered how many rooms there could be. The building was majestic.

Marco led me into the giant lobby where Sue was waiting. Once again, I was amazed by her beauty. Just like last time, her hair was up in a bun, and she was wearing stiletto heels on her feet.

‘I’m glad you are here,’ she hugged me gently in greeting, ‘First you will meet the girls, and then we will deal with the contract unless you have changed your mind.’

She walked over to the front desk and pressed a button. After a while, girls started approaching me from all directions, introducing themselves. I counted fifteen of them. Each one had a different type of beauty. The last one of them ran down the stairs, and she quickly come up to me.

‘She is a redhead! We don’t have a ginger one yet,’ she said with excitement as if I was some valuable acquisition and not another excuse for a whore.

‘I’m Amy! Nice to meet you,’ said the petite blonde.

Sue clapped her hands, focusing everyone’s attention on her.

‘I’d like to invite you for a meeting. It will be on Friday, meaning it’s time to arrange the schedule for the weekend.’

‘I’m going to have a cigarette,’ declared the pretty brunette, ‘I need one before I have to listen how to give a blowjob again.’

The rest of the girls laughed, and she started pretending how to give a guy head. The rest burst into even greater laughter.

Sue just rolled her eyes. ‘You have seven minutes.’ She turned to me and said, ‘Come on.’

I followed her into the other wing of the building, and we took our seats in a large room with a massive table in the middle. Amy, the brunette whose only name I remembered, sat down next to me. She handed me coffee in a cup.

‘Is it okay with milk?’ she asked.

‘Yes. Perfect!’ At least I had something to keep my hands busy.

‘Sugar is over there,’ she pointed to a table in the corner of the room, where I spotted coffee in a thermos, sugar, milk and cookies.

The rest of the girls were watching me with evident curiosity. I felt again like it was my first day of school - silly and foreign. I focused my attention on Sue. She was handing out folders to each of us.

‘Inside, you have a schedule. If you have any questions, you know where to find me.’

‘I’m going to Greece for a week!’ One girl was happy, looking through the contents of the folder.

‘Yes, the client has decided to take you with him. If you have any problems, call me. And this time, wear UV sunscreen. I don’t want you coming back burnt like last time and looking like one big disaster.’

‘Alright,’ answered the girl, lowering her gaze while the rest cheerfully started to comment.

‘Remember that we have an open show for the gentlemen today,’ Sue continued, ‘I hope you are ready for tonight. If you decide to stay with us, you can help hand out drinks. That’s enough work for your first day,’ she said in my direction.

‘We gather at the club at eight o’clock and please don’t be late. That’s all for now.’

The girls started to leave the room obediently.

‘Come into my office. We will discuss your contract,’ said Sue.

We walked along the corridor to her office, where I sat down at the desk. Documents were waiting for me to sign, and I glanced at the large file of papers.

‘Read it first. It has everything you need to know. I’ll leave you alone. If you want something stronger, help yourself. The bar is over there,’ she smiled, pleased with her own joke.

‘I’ll check on you in a bit. I’m glad you decided to join us.’ She put her hand on my shoulder with encouragement.

I probably looked like I wanted to run away. I focused on the documents, first, typing in basic information on the questionnaire, such as my first name, last name, and place of birth. Then there were a few questions about my preference for music, sports from my girlhood and the present, and whether pole dancing was familiar to me? That’s interesting. A few questions about favourite places, dishes, my day-to-day routines. I felt like there was a question that applied to every part my life. Then I moved on to the next part of the survey. It began by questioning whether I was a virgin. And that was the moment when I decided I needed a drink. I poured whiskey into a glass and taking a big sip, smiled at the thought that she must have known, by offering me an alcoholic endorsement, that I would have a hard time. I returned to the questionnaire with the booze in my hand. It got worse with each successive question. Whether I approved anal sex, what toys I enjoyed, what I didn’t want to do in bed? Would I allow sexual intercourse in public places, such as the restroom at a restaurant? I took another sip of alcohol. It felt like an emotional rollercoaster. Finally, read the information on the possibility of me getting pregnant. I had no right to seek proof of paternity or ask for alimony. I drank the rest of the alcohol.

This was not an ordinary contract. I didn’t expect to be required to sign something like this. I topped up the drink and reviewed my situation. I still needed money. The girls I met did not look worried or upset. Each of them looked immaculate and happy. The contract was for six months, not my whole life, but I knew that nothing would be the same after that. I had no choice. I signed the documents.

* * *

I flitted between the tables with my tray, carefully not to kill myself in the high heels I chose to wear this evening, or should I say, was made to wear. All the girls looked very elegant and defiant, all wearing high heels. I, on the contrary, was working as a waitress tonight. I was dressed in black mini shorts and an open back top. Thanks to the white and black cuffs on my wrists, I was supposed to look more like a waitress. I found myself smiling at the thought. This whole day seemed so surreal. It had only been a few hours since arriving at the residence.

I was walking to the bar when a guy grabbed my arm.

‘Honey, can you get me another scotch on the rocks?’

He set the empty glass down on the tray, which I almost dropped. He grabbed my hand so unexpectedly that I flinched slightly. I walked over to the bar and placed my order with the bartender. Apart from a few security guards, he was one of the few men working here. He looked very handsome and had a boyish charm about him. I knew from rumours that he was one hundred percent gay. He knew most of the guests and various facts about their lives - a veritable mine of knowledge.

Some men were frequent guests, but some came only once, as a birthday present or a bachelor party. Everyone was carefully checked, and their names and credit cards were entered into a special database.

After another run between the tables, I began feeling tired. I slumped slightly on a stool at the bar to give my legs a rest, if only for a moment. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to high heels, I thought bitterly.

‘A long night?’ the blond guy on the stool next to me asked. ‘May I buy you a drink?’ He smiled sympathetically.

‘I don’t think I should drink.’ I tried to decline politely. Tonight, I was just a waitress. I didn’t have to entertain the guests.

‘You should celebrate your first day on the job,’ he summoned the bartender.

‘How do you know it’s my first day? Is it that obvious?’ I gasped with a whine and hid my face in my hands.

He began to laugh and said, ‘Pour the lady a Prosecco,’ he asked the waiter and placed a glass of bubbly in front of me. ‘Drink it. It will help you loosen up,’ he encouraged.

I took a big gulp and felt the alcohol flowing right into my stomach. I knew I could drink while working here, but not so much that I would get drunk—everything in moderation.

‘Shall I tell you a secret?’ he asked in a conspiratorial whisper.

‘Go ahead!’ I answered in a whisper as well.

‘You look very professional. I know all the girls, so that’s how I know it’s your first day. I just wanted to get to know you, to have a drink with you.’

He raised his glass in a gesture of toast. I felt relaxed for the first time in hours.

The lights went out, and the room suddenly filled with darkness. The buzz of conversation quieted down, and the tuneful music was replaced by Rihanna’s song Umbrella. I would never choose such a song for my performance. It’s not really my thing, but seeing the girl on stage moving to this music made me understand her choice. This song was made for her. Her movements were perfectly in tune with the melody. It was the first time I had ever seen someone dance like that live. She moved lightly and looked seductive and sexy. She had everything that attracted men to places like this and made them pay a lot for an ordinary drink.

I caught a glimpse of the man next to me. Instead of watching the performance, he was watching me with interest. The song came to an end, and the room grew brighter again. Sue was approaching us with a quick step. I stood up and waited for her to tell me to get back to work. She, on the other hand, greeted the blonde-haired man effusively, and they left together. Before he left, he looked at me and said, ‘See you later, Sarah.’

I was perplexed because, after all, I hadn’t introduced myself to him, and he knew my name anyway. I, on the other hand, had no idea who he was. As time passed, more and more girls were leaving with customers. After a while, only a few guests and bar staff were left. I cleaned up the last glasses. I was glad that the evening had come to an end. At that moment, I only dreamt about going to bed and taking off my shoes. I didn’t care if it was my bed or the room I got at the residence.

The blond guy showed up at the bar again. He offered to drive me home. I agreed with a slight hesitation, but I was happy to get to fall asleep in my bed. We went together to the car where Marco was already waiting to take us home. During the trip, I found out that the mysterious guy’s name was Alex. Despite being tired, we had a pleasant talk. In front of my house, I hurriedly said goodbye and ran towards the front door. I wanted to fall asleep as soon as possible. It was almost 4 a.m., and I didn’t want to look like a zombie the next day.

I woke up around noon to three missed calls from Sue on my company cell phone, as well as a message saying that she doesn’t need me today and I would see her again Sunday afternoon. I put the phone back on the table and snuggled back under the covers, falling into a shallow sleep.

The next day, I spent the entire afternoon at my grandma’s place. She was having one of those days and didn’t recognise me. The disease was progressing, and I couldn’t handle it. The only thing I could do for her was to give her the best care I could afford. In the beginning, I reacted with disgust and aggression when I heard about a special clinic for people with progressive dementia. Ironically, I looked at my granny and thought it was a joke. After all, she wasn’t that old yet. At the time, I thought this problem only affected much older people. I knew absolutely nothing about this disease doing my best to keep my grandma with me.

It started with small things, like asking about things I’d already bought or hiding objects in odd places. Unfortunately, her dementia progressed rapidly. It got to the point where she didn’t recognise me. Even worse, she began acting out aggressively. She thought I was just a stranger trying to rob or kill her. I waited as long as I could before I decided to place her in a specialised institution.

Today she was having a weaker day again. She looked at me like I was an intruder and not her beloved granddaughter. I looked at her, and all I wanted was to become a little girl again and cuddle with my granny. I left her favourite cake on the table and kissed her forehead gently, to which she shooed me away like an intrusive fly, and I left in a hurry. On my way out, I wiped away a flowing tear.

I fell behind in my payments to the clinic. Unfortunately, these services were costly and beyond my financial capabilities. I hoped that working for Sue would change things.

In the hallway, the manager caught up with me.

‘Sarah, I’m sorry to have to remind you that you are behind on your payments.’

‘Yes, I know. By the end of the week, I will pay off some of the debt, I promise.’

I have to ask Sue for an advance, I noted in my mind.

I saw the relief on the manager’s face. I was unable to count the number of times she had asked me about money. The last time she told me directly that I would have to take my grandmother home. At the same time, she knew it was impossible. At that point, I started looking for a quick solution to get the money.

I picked a coffee on the way and strolled around the city. I was doing absolutely everything to avoid going home, where another tough conversation was awaiting me.

When did my life become so complicated? To cover the hole in my budget, I rented one room. My friend’s cousin was looking for an apartment, and I was looking for a tenant. At the very first meeting, I liked this boy, who became my best friend.

‘Do you think something is wrong with me?’ I asked him a question.

We were sitting together in the living room on the sofa.

‘You are smart, kind, pretty, slim and red-headed. What could be wrong with you?’ Alan looked at me closely, ‘What’s more, you have a sexy ass. Sexy asses are… sexy!’ He patted his thigh lightly for better effect.

I started laughing. The way he said things made them all sound so simple. There was nothing wrong with me. My proportions were kept up, so why were guys running away from me? What the hell was it about me that no one wanted me?

‘Maybe I’ll dye my hair, and it’ll give me a serious look. Maybe I’ll go for a nice bronze. Guys like brunettes, ‘ I thought out loud.

‘Don’t even dare to touch it, or I’ll cut your fingers off. You have the most beautiful, coppery hair colour I’ve ever seen, and you want to change it? It’s perfect. Every guy dreams of having a ginger like you in his bed. Well, maybe not every guy.’ he corrected himself hastily. ‘Actually, I don’t count.’ He waved his hand as if he wanted to push away unwanted thoughts.

That’s what I loved about him endlessly. He could always lift my spirits, give me good advice in any situation. If only he knew what was on my mind…

I poured us some more wine and gave him a glass. The plan was simple. If we were slightly drunk, it would be easier for me to ask him for a favour. I knew he was the only person I trusted completely. We had just watched a movie, and I couldn’t remember a single scene because I was so stressed. I set the popcorn bowl down on the table and looked at him shyly.

‘What’s going through that beautiful head?’

He noticed I was up to something. He knew me too well.

‘Well, I have a certain problem, and I think you can help me.’

Alan knew my story and supported me as much as he could. I owed him already too, and even if he insisted, I wouldn’t take a penny more from him.

‘I know how to make a lot of money in a short time, but there is one detail that bothers me.’

‘Let it all out,’ he said with a bit of amusement.

‘My virginity,’ I said without thinking.

He raised his hands in protest, ‘Oh no, you can forget about it! You’ll have to deal with this on your own.’

‘Don’t leave me like this, please! I know you don’t do this with women, but why don’t you treat me like an exception?’ I looked at him with the most pleading eyes I could afford.

‘No way. This is… this is… inappropriate. Don’t look at me like that! I’m not going to do it!’

‘You just push, and that’s it. I don’t expect anything else.’

He looked at me like I was an alien, ‘Just? Do you know what that means? Where are the butterflies in your stomach? Where are the feelings? You can’t treat it that way. That first time should be memorable, magical!’ He pressed his hands to his heart with dreamy eyes, ‘It should be perfect. And me?’ He looked at me reprovingly. ‘I’m gay, have you forgotten? No way. It would be easier for you to seduce some naive guy in a club. Wait, what did you say? Why do you want to get rid of your virginity, and why right now?’

‘I am twenty-one years old! At this age you can’t say it’s rushed.’

‘Don’t change the subject,’ he threatened me with his finger, ‘I have to pour us some wine. I can’t be sober for a conversation like this.’

He went to get another bottle.

I explained to him the proposition I had received. I had to admit, he was not enthusiastic. He sat quietly for a while.

‘I’m not going to say that I support what you are going to do, but I am your friend. Friends support each other. Tonight, we’re going to find you some horny sucker and solve your problem. It’s Saturday night. Go, take a shower. Do all those magical things women do, and we’re going to the club. It’s hunting time!’ he said, pushing me gently toward the bathroom.

I got ready faster than usual. I still had a condom I got from a friend, which I placed safely inside my bra. I was wearing a dress that was far too short. I had bought it once but never wore it: it was hardly suitable for walking on the street, but for the club it was perfect. It barely covered my butt. Before I knew it, we were there. Today the place was unimaginably crowded. Some famous DJ was playing music. We had two shots and a cocktail for courage. Alan took me to the middle of the dance floor, and after a few moments I was already enjoying myself. I discreetly looked around for the perfect guy or at least someone close to it. If I didn’t love him, at least let him be handsome. I smiled at the thought of this ridiculous plan. A few guys hung around me during the dance, but none were good enough. After a few tunes, I went to the bar for another drink. Alan had gone to the restroom, so I was alone.

‘Where is your friend?’ a man queuing next to me asked.

‘I think he’s lost.’ I assessed him from head to toe. He must have been watching me, too. He knew I wasn’t alone here.

‘My friend owns this club.’

He tried to impress me with cheap talk. I wondered if I should let him off the hook. But I had to admit that he could pass for handsome. All his features were in the perfect place. Unfortunately for me, he was too fancy. I didn’t like that kind of man, but it was enough for tonight.

‘Would you like to dance?’ he offered. We left our glasses, and he told the bartender to keep an eye on them. They seemed to know each other. We danced to two songs. I had to admit, he knew how to move on the dance floor. The dance felt like foreplay. I got goosebumps just thinking about what I was going to do. He gently brushed his hand over my shoulder, his blue eyes with a humorous glint.

‘Shall I show you the rest of the club?’

I nodded my head as a sign of agreement.

He grabbed my hand and led me toward the back room. I caught sight of Alan, who’s flash of his eyes indicated that he was waiting for me. A door closed behind us with a sign ‘Admission for staff only’, and it immediately felt quieter around us. We found ourselves in a small office. The next thing I registered, were his lips on my mouth. I tried to keep up with his pace. It was obvious that he often invited his friends here from the dance floor. I could feel his insistent tongue, as I tried to return the kisses with the same intensity. His hands gently, deliberately roamed my body. When I felt my ass stop against the edge of the desk, I came to my senses. I evidently hadn’t drunk enough to do through with it in this way. My partner sensed that I was pulling back gently, and stopped kissing me.

‘What’s going on? You don’t want to?’ he looked at me with a lusty gaze.

‘It’s too fast,’ I responded.

The man took a deep, calming breath.

‘Okay,’ he ran his hands through his hair, ruffling his perfect hairstyle, ‘I’m Mick. Can I take you out for coffee?’

I looked at him in disbelief.

‘I’m Sarah. I’d love to go for a coffee with you.’ I started laughing.

‘Mick, man, I need the documents from my desk.’

The door opened, and man walked in. He looked at Mick, then shifted his focus on me. He assessed my dress, which made my legs appear twice as long as they were. Looking into my eyes, he held my gaze until I broke it off. A knowing smile appeared on his lips.

‘We’re leaving now,’ answered Mick, ‘We’re going dancing.’

Just like last time, he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the dance floor. That’s when it dawned on me.

I waved to Alan that I was okay. I continued dancing for another hour. I noticed that my friend had a few pretty girls hanging around, but he turned them all away. My head was buzzing by the end of the evening, and my feet felt sore from the high heels, but I was having fun and didn’t want to go home yet. I’m not sure when I would have the opportunity to go to a party for fun and not for work. By the end, Mick and I exchanged phone numbers so we could arrange that coffee date.

* * *

I made it to the residence in my blue Volkswagen Polo. I hoped it wouldn’t break down on the way there. Lately, I’ve been hearing disturbing sounds from under the hood, and it was yet another thing in my life that needed to be fixed. I parked by the ‘For staff only’ sign and entered through a side entrance. This was my second time here, and I still felt in awe about the size and luxury of the mansion. I carried a bag, which contains my most necessary things just in case I had to spend the night here. I greeted the girls in a friendly manner and went to my room, which I would temporarily live in. The room was quite big. There was a huge bed in the middle with a bedside table next to it. There a dressing table on the side and two armchairs with a table in the centre.

I put my toiletries in the bathroom adjacent to the room and hung my clothes in the closet.

A few minutes later, Sue knocked on my door and introduced me to the gynaecologist. I was relieved that she was a woman. We had talked earlier about the necessary blood tests to rule out any diseases. I also decided to start taking birth control pills. The doctor took my blood sample, handed me the pills and said goodbye. The results were to be ready the next day by noon, sent by email. After that, I could officially go out with clients. There was only one small detail left to be agreed upon.

I asked Sue about the advance payment because I could no longer pretend that I did not need money urgently. She smiled gently and wrote a check. Seeing the amount, I was slightly surprised.

‘That’s too much. I haven’t earned anything yet.’

‘Relax. This is just the beginning,’ she laughed, seeing my confusion. ‘I told you there is a lot of money at stake. For that, you need at least ten sets of new lingerie, stockings, stilettos, and of course, dresses. Let me ask someone to take you to the boutique and help you pick something. How about Amy? I’ve seen you get along with her.’

I shouldn’t have been surprised. Nothing could escape her attention in this place.

‘Tomorrow, after breakfast, the dance instructor will come. You’ll take some lessons. You need to learn how to be confident on stage. Stage familiarity is fundamental. You did well last night at the bar, several customers were asking about you.’

Her words gave me confidence. I saw it coming, but I was still surprised. I felt even more disappointed that nothing had worked out from my Saturday hook-up.

‘Don’t worry. You’ll let me know when you’re ready.’

* * *

We waited for the instructor in the gym. The pole dancing class was about to start any minute. I could feel the excitement, and even though the girls tried to engage me in conversation, I didn’t pay attention to them at all. I didn’t like to exercise, especially cardio. I was more the lazy type, but I knew would not go over well here. It was already pointed out in the introduction that I had to be able to move on stage. Dancing on demand is nothing special. I heard a story about one girl who got drunk and decided to dance on the table. She fell off, but thankfully, nothing happened to her. She got over her fears, and only a few bruises appeared. After this incident though, Sue made a fuss. She reprimanded all the girls that you have to know how to handle your drink. It is not forbidden, but getting wasted is prohibited.

I was thinking about my first job. What will the first client be like? Will he be young or old? Will I be able to cope afterwards?

Just as I suspected, I had very weak leg and arm muscles, and struggled to stay on the pole. The other girls were doing it effortlessly. At the time, it didn’t look complicated. I agreed with the instructor that I would participate in the class just like the other girls. My goal was not to be discouraged and to train as much as I could. On top of that, he was going to teach me the basics of erotic dancing with props, which meant that there would be no getting around it without regular training.

At that point, I realised how much energy this would take. After my workout, I was tired and hungry. When I got to my room, I found an envelope on my bed containing my test results. The good news was that I was as healthy as a fiddle. I also found iron supplement pills. I was deficient. ‘Take one a day’, I read on the package.

The girls I took the pole dancing class with were eating lunch in the kitchen. I surveyed the fridge. After some consideration, I made myself toast with cheese and ham. Seeing what they were eating, I felt guilty for not choosing vegetables and chicken.

Amy ran into the kitchen. I was amazed at how energetic she was.

‘What’s good to eat here?’ she glanced at our plates, ‘Can you make one toast for me? I had a rough night.’

‘Night and afternoon,’ said the petite blonde.

‘Tell me about it,’ laughed Amy. ‘I’m only going to eat and sleep until tomorrow.’

‘We are off tonight. Are you coming with us to the club?’ asked one of the girls.

She shook her head in despair, ‘I guess I’ll skip the lie-in after all. Wake me up early enough so I can get ready. You should come with us too,’ she said to me.

‘I already promised to meet my friend in the evening.’

‘Take him with you,’ the girl with blond hair suggested enthusiastically.

‘I’ll ask him if he wants to.’

‘You have to come; you’re a member of the team now.’

‘Thanks!’ I reached for the toast and bit into it. I was lucky to have inherited good genes from my parents, and I didn’t put on much weight, regardless of what I ate.’

I called Alan. He liked the idea of going out together. We both loved to dance. Since I got to the residence, I’ve had hardly any time for him. Even though I gave up my previous job, I was swamped. I visited my grandmother as often as I could, exercised regularly and helped out at the residence.

I was going to meet Alan at the club. The girls and I were taking a cab. The residence was in uproar. It was rare that all the girls could go out together. This time they had asked for a free Saturday evening. Everyone wanted to look perfect.

Amy was sitting on my bed. I browsed through my clothes while she helped me pick out an outfit for the evening. It was already my sixth outfit in a row.

‘I liked you best in leather pants and a glossy top. Sexy, but not slutty.’

‘Thanks for the honesty.’ I sipped my “relaxation” drink, which is what Amy called it. For today, she chose to wear white jeans and a black corset. To me, it looked more like underwear than a t-shirt, but she looked pleased with her choice.

We arrived at the club before eleven, and I followed the girls to the VIP entrance. I saw the envious looks of the people in line. It was the best club in the city, so the number of people queuing was always gigantic. I knew it because not so long ago, I was standing in line myself. Somewhere in the distance, I heard my name. My friend ran up to me and kissed me on the cheek.

I introduced him to Amy, and he kissed her in greeting as well. Sometimes I forgot how direct he could be with women.

‘Come with us,’ Amy said, next she grabbed him under the arm, and I did the same on the other side. At the entrance, the security guard gave each of us a stamp on our wrist, and we went in.

‘I’m a VIP,’ Alan rejoiced. ‘What a coincidence, this is the same club where we went to last time.’

‘Have you been here before? Nice place! We get free drinks here. Let’s get something.’ Amy dragged us to the bar.

After my third drink, if we were counting the one before the party, my head was buzzing. I was getting drunk fast, so I had to control myself. I was relaxed enough not to care if anyone was looking at me, and let myself be carried away by the music. I jumped and screamed because they had just played Jon Bon Jovi’s old hit. It’s My Life—such a great song to jump and go wild to. I danced out all the stress from the past week.

We were dancing on the lower dance floor of a two-level club. Upstairs I could see tables where we could sit freely without any problems. It was rather impossible to talk over the loud music.

Upstairs I spotted a man who seemed to be looking in my direction. I looked to my side, making sure he wasn’t looking at someone next to me. He was looking at me. I probably wouldn’t have paid attention to him, but he was in a suit, which looked out of place in here.

On top of that, he wasn’t having fun. He was just watching. If I wasn’t mistaken, it was the owner of the club—the same guy who surprised my would-be lover and me in the staff office. I tried not to pay attention to him, but it was difficult. My gaze involuntarily fled in his direction.

‘Would you like a drink?’ Amy shouted over the music.

‘Yeah, last one. Let’s go’ I grabbed her hand, and we started squeezing through the crowd toward the bar. I ordered vodka with cranberry juice. I turned around and saw him again. He was still looking at me. Now I was sure he was watching me.

‘What are you looking at?’ Amy asked, sipping her vodka cola.

‘I think someone is watching me. Right there on the balcony. A guy in a suit.’ I pointed discreetly in the direction without turning around.

‘Where? I don’t see anyone.’

‘Right there.’ I turned around, and there was an empty space where he stood. He had disappeared. I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or disappointed.

‘You either imagined it, or maybe you caught his eye, and he’s on his way over to you.’

‘Your last one,’ Alan threatened me, pointing to the drink in my hand. He knew very well that if I drank more, I would end up having a sleepless night with a toilet bowl instead of a pillow.

‘I haven’t seen you drunk yet,’ Niko interjected.

‘I see you have met our bartender.’

‘Yes,’ said Alan shyly, as if asking for permission to make his acquaintance.

‘Just please don’t try to get information about me from him,’ I threatened Niko with my finger.

He just laughed, ‘It’s too late now. We began our acquaintance talking about you.’

‘Well, that’s great,’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Come on, let’s dance because the world is starting to spin.’

We got back on the dance floor and danced until the club closed.

I got to my room in the morning. I washed off my makeup which was now on its last legs. It didn’t work very well, with the mascara just smearing over my face. I brushed my teeth and changed into my PJ’s. I fell asleep immediately, cuddling my head into my pillow.

I woke up to the banging on my door.

‘Go away,’ I shouted, ‘Whoever you are.’

Niko came into the room.

‘Get up, sleepyhead. It’s already one o’clock, and I brought you a dose of vitamin C, in other words, freshly squeezed orange juice.’

I looked at him suspiciously.

‘Alan’s concerned?’ I asked.

‘Your mobile is off, so he sent me to check on you. He asked me to let him know in ten minutes, or he’d be here.’

‘Now I have two nannies?’ I whined.

‘He’s your friend. It’s natural for him to be worried.’

‘Exactly, he’s my only friend, so you should know I care about him a lot. Remember that.’

‘We just exchanged phone numbers. Perhaps we’ll go out for coffee. Now take a bath. Olivia made a big pot of soup for everyone downstairs.’

‘Olivia?’

‘She can be nice sometimes, but only sometimes…’

I fell on the pillows a few moments later, and I buried myself in the warm quilt. Much later, after a long bath, I finally looked like a human again. I pulled on my leggings and a loose T-shirt with “Every Red is… Beautiful” written on it. I got it from Alan for Christmas last year.

I engulfed a plate of soup in the kitchen. It was delicious. I heard something about watching a movie together in the TV room, and squeezed myself onto the sofa between Amy and Niko. We still had three hours before the next showcase event. Just like last time, I was going to be a waitress.

* * *

Early in the morning, I had a class at the university, and after that, I immediately went to my grandma’s. She looked tired and fell asleep pretty quickly. I didn’t stay long. Another dance class was waiting for me. This time it was individual. I was preparing a dance routine with a chair. I felt barely alive after that. I thought that the last class was a tough workout. However, this time, I found out I was seriously mistaken. My legs were shaking like jelly an I was sore all over. I dragged myself up the stairs, dreaming of a hot bath. Sue called out for me from downstairs when I had almost made it to the top.

‘Is this a joke? I have to go down again?’

‘Come quickly! I have good news,’ she looked pleased.

‘I’m coming, but it is going to take me longer. My legs are killing me.’

‘Come on. You’ll be strong and fit. Your ass is going to get super lifted.’

‘Is there something wrong with my ass?’

She laughed out loud. ‘You’re so sweaty.’

‘I told you, I just had a workout.’

‘Training, not swimming’. I made her laugh even more.

What put you in such a good mood?

‘You have your first contract.’

‘Me? What?’ I was speechless. I sat down on the bottom step, ‘I’m not ready to… you know.’

‘Don’t worry about it. It’s a different kind of business. You have a dinner date. Here are the restaurant details. He’ll meet you there.’

I took the piece of paper from her hands. The name of the restaurant didn’t tell me anything.

‘Wear a white blouse, black elegant pants and stilettos.’

‘Alright. I can’t believe this.’

‘I can see. You’ll give me some feedback when you are back,’ she said with such excitement as if we were friends and my dinner wasn’t an errand for an expensive escort agency.

‘Marco will drive you to the place. Good luck.’

I looked up and said, ‘I think I’m going to sit here for a little bit longer.’

After a while, Amy appeared with a plate full of cookies. ‘You want one? Why are you sitting like that?’ She sat down.

I took the treat off her plate. ‘I got my first job.’

‘Congratulations!’ She was so happy.

‘It’s going to be an unforgettable night.’

‘It’s just dinner,’ I cooled her enthusiasm.

‘Excellent. That’s great news, too. You should be getting dressed instead of sitting here.’

‘Only if you drag me upstairs.’

Amy kept laughing, but I didn’t see anything funny about the situation. I knew that the next day I’d have extremely sore muscles, and I’ll barely be able to move. She walked me to my room and I took a quick shower as there wasn’t enough time for a bath. The bubbles had to wait until tomorrow. Meanwhile, Amy was snooping around in my closet. Amy herself helped me choose most of my clothes. She had a great sense of what I needed to wear to look good.

‘Put this on.’ She put the hanger with the little black dress against her body. ‘You have great legs, and they need to be shown off.’

‘I am to wear black pants, a white blouse and stilettos. Sue’s orders.’ I tried to comb my long curly hair.

‘Then at least let the shoes be red.’ She spun around in the middle of the room with a pair of stilettos in her hand.

‘There was no question of the colour, so let them be red,’ I agreed.

Amy fixed my hair in an elaborate bun. It is a miracle. Taming my hair was no mean feat.

‘You should be a hairdresser.’ I touched my hair, for which I got a slap on my hand.

‘Don’t touch it. I haven’t sprayed it yet.’

‘You have talent,’ I convinced her.

‘I like to pin up my hair and comb it and even dye it.’

‘Go to school or take a course.’

‘You really think I could do that?’

‘Just look at this beauty on my head. You’re made for it.’

‘I’ll think about it.’ She sprayed a lot of hairspray in my hair. ‘I’ll lend you my red clutch bag. It’ll go perfectly with the whole thing. Don’t forget the condoms.’

She ran out, only to return with a beautiful soft red leather clutch bag and a whole box of condoms. Not a package, but a box. She stuffed two into the purse and the rest under my bed.

‘It’s just dinner.’ I protested weakly. Besides, no one here knew I was a virgin except Sue.

‘Better safe than sorry.’ She kissed me some more and said, ‘Good luck! And I want to be the first to know the details.’

Marco drove me to the restaurant. As always, he was low-key and reserved.

* * *

As soon as I crossed the restaurant’s threshold, the wonderful smells of the food enveloped me. My stomach contracted painfully. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to swallow anything because of my nerves. At the reception desk, I gave my name. The waiter led me to a table. I had arrived first so I took a sip of water.

After a while, the waiter came to my table to take my order. ‘Good morning, what can I get you?’

‘Thank you, please give us some more time,’ said a voice behind my back.

‘Of course,’ he said and quickly walked away.

As soon as we were left alone, I smiled widely. My mystery man turned out to be the blond guy from my first day in the residence.

‘Hello, I should formally introduce myself. I’m Alex.’

‘Sarah.’ I shook his hand. ‘Nice to see you again.’

‘Nice to see you, too. What would you like to drink? Prosecco?’ He smiled cheekily, subtly reminding me of our first meeting.

‘Please.’ I let him choose.

‘Are you disappointed that it’s me?’

‘Disappointed? On the contrary. You’ve intrigued me lately.’

‘That was the plan,’ he winked at me. At that moment, the tension faded, and we had a lovely time. He told me about his parents, his brother. He asked about dance lessons, my family. I realised how quickly the time passed when they served dessert, and after a while, the meeting ended. It took a few minutes to catch a cab for me. I dreaded saying goodbye. What was I supposed to do? Shake his hand? Kiss him? When the car pulled up, Alex embraced me gently and kissed my cheek.

‘Sleep well,’ he whispered in my ear.

I got into the cab. He paid the driver for the fare and then stood on the sidewalk until I completely lost sight of him. It was a pleasant evening. I found the man to be funny and charming, and I felt very comfortable in his company. At the same time, I had a feeling that something was going on here that I wasn’t aware of.

The next day, right after class, Alan and I went to our favourite burger place. The burgers were huge, made from fresh meat and served in a crispy bun. We visited my granny together. I also told him about dinner the night before. He said I had nothing to worry about. The most important thing was that I had a good time, making me feel reassured by his words.

I met with Alex a few more times. I liked him. I laughed a lot when I was with him. We were at the cinema, and he let me choose a movie. I opted for a comedy. We would both burst out laughing at the same time. We both liked to eat well. He would take me to expensive restaurants that I wouldn’t normally be able to afford. Sometimes we would accidentally bump into his friends, and then he would pass me off as his friend. Each time, he kissed me on the cheek to say goodbye and ordered a cab back to the residence. He never tried to kiss me on the lips or touch me. He also never personally came to pick me up. The next day, money was deposited into my account. It felt strange to see it. Alan concluded that the guy must be very lonely. After all, he was paying for companionship. Simple camaraderie. There was no chemistry between us, no attraction. Nothing worth paying so much for.

Alex and I went out to eat again. I bought a roll to feed the ducks in the pond at the park. It was mid-September, and I loved this time of year. Winter was always difficult for me. Cold hands and feet. A nightmare. I exposed my face to the sun and closed my eyes, relishing the warmth of the rays on my skin. I knew he was watching me.

‘I need to ask you something,’ he began uncertainly.

‘I’m all ears.’ I didn’t move, not wanting to risk him changing his mind and not saying what he came here for. I knew him well enough to know that he was nervous about something today. He just wasn’t as relaxed as he always was.

‘I’m going to my parents for three days. Will you come with me?’

I opened my eyes and looked at him, surprised.

‘Parents? Your parents?’

‘Yes. We’ll have a lovely weekend. If they ask if we’re together, please don’t deny it.’

‘Is that what you want? You want me to pretend? And if they ask how we both met?’

‘We’ll say we met at the ice cream parlour.’

‘An ice cream parlour? Sweet start to a friendship. Are you suggesting that I’m an ice cream person?’ I was staring at the water. ‘Okay, that’s fine. I’ll go with you.’

He happily lifted me in his arms and began to spin in circles with me.

‘Put me down, people are watching!’

‘Let them watch.’

The people around us were stopping, smiling. They probably thought we made a cute couple—a couple for the next three days.

* * *

I packed everything I could possibly need for a getaway weekend in my suitcase. At Sue’s insistence, I even packed a swimsuit. Apparently, there was an indoor pool on-site, and the house was located right next to the beach. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been to the seaside. Probably when I was a child. It would be nice to feel the sand beneath my feet again.

I informed my grandma that I was going away for a few days and would get in touch with her as soon as I got back. On the way there, we stopped for lunch. Alex explained that his parents were celebrating their wedding anniversary and were throwing a small party to mark the occasion. I expected it to be some sort of special occasion, as Sue had told me to pack an elegant dress for the evening. The reception was scheduled for the following day. Today, however, we were going to have a casual dinner together. At the very thought of it my stomach turned. Ever since I was a child, I had been taught not to lie. All of my life’s principles have been bent upside down lately.

‘Eat something. This pasta is delicious.’ Alex popped another portion into his mouth. We stopped at a pub just down the road. The decor was simple and inviting, and the food tasted like home.

‘I’m nervous. I don’t think I’m going to be able to stomach anything.’ I glanced at my untouched plate.

‘You have nothing to worry about.’

‘I can’t lie,’ I added in a resigned voice.

‘I already told them that we met at the ice cream stand. You just have to nod when they ask you about it. Be yourself.’

‘What if they know we’re lying?’

He covered my hand with his. It was the most intimate moment since we first met. I guess he sensed what I was thinking because he quickly took his hand away and went back to eating his food.

I rummaged around on my plate a bit more and left almost the entire dish untouched. During the journey, I managed to take a nap. I woke up when we arrived. We passed through a wooden gate. It resembled the enclosure of a horse paddock. The sun was reflecting off the stone building. It must have been very old. I always wondered what such houses looked like inside. Alex took our suitcases and led us in. After a while, I heard a dog running on the wooden floor. He ran right up to Alex and started licking him and jumping for joy. Only after a while did he greet me, but not so effusively. From what I could tell, it was some kind of greyhound. He was skinny, and when he stood on two paws, he could lick my face, which he did eagerly.

‘Blue! No jumping!’ A man walked towards us with a springy step. I guessed it was Alex’s father. They didn’t look anything alike. He must have taken after his mother.

‘He always greets visitors that way. Can’t contain his excitement. Hello, I’m George.’ He shook my hand.

‘Nice to meet you,’ I greeted him a little abashed. I was fully aware that I was being judged right now. They must have already made a judgment about my suitability for their son.

‘Dad.’ The men also shook hands in greeting.

‘Is that Alex?’ A question came from the hallway.

‘Yes, mom, it’s me.’

An elegant woman ran up to us and hugged her son tightly in greeting.

‘Here you are at last!’

She greeted me, embracing me as she had embraced her son moments before.

‘This is Sarah, and this is my mum, Elizabeth.’ Alex made the formal introduction.

‘Call me Liza, and don’t you dare call me anything else,’ she laughed teasingly. Looking at her, I had a feeling that she reminded me of someone.

‘I have prepared a big room for you. You can leave your suitcases there and go down to the dining room. I will serve dinner in a moment.’

‘We’ll be there in five minutes. Sarah, come and take out your outfit for tomorrow, or it’ll get even more creased.’

‘How thoughtful.’ His parents smiled at each other.

We made our way up the wooden staircase. The room was enormous.

‘We were given the best guest bedroom. I see someone here has assumed that we sleep together. I think we’ll fit in somehow, won’t we? Do you want to change before we go downstairs?’

‘I’d love to use the bathroom.’