Ebooka przeczytasz w aplikacjach Legimi na:
Odsłuch ebooka (TTS) dostępny w abonamencie „ebooki+audiobooki bez limitu” w aplikacji Legimi na:
because he can always
in my eyes
that have United us.
We are not meant to come together, not any more than sun and moon were meant to come together, or sea and land. We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other's opposite and complement.
- Hermann Hesse -
Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy.
This is physics.
- Albert Einstein -
I have lived with several Zen masters—all of them cats.
- Eckhart Tolle -
From an early age I proved to be a lonely child, but for the more or less long periods I have also been an outgoing child, I made friends at school, I played with the other kids, growing up I started to go out with my peers, but there were always other times, moments when all of this bothered me, sometimes I preferred to be alone, read, cuddle with my dog and my cat, "My Cat" so to speak, because it was he who adopted me, showing up in my garden as if he was the owner. Yes them... my closest loves, you can feel the purity, innocence and unconditional love of these creatures. But these are the times I am most sad, too reflexive, obsessed with the meaning of life, in these moments I am not always sad, maybe the opposite... thoughtful, reading allows me to create my own opinions but an answer never arrives and this, in the end, leads to melancholy. I live two realities, slipping from serenity, from illusion to melancholy, from my passions, emotions, desires to that evil darkness that prevents me to just survive.
I've often heard my mother, psychologists and psychiatrists, friends and acquaintances say: "Wake up! Go for a walk, go look at the sea, go out with a friend, you’re a beautiful girl, you’re intelligent, you don't need anything else", but at that moment, it’s like a veil is between you and life, a glass pane, you can see everything on the outside and all seems so far away, strange, useless, illusory, you live in a paralyzed present in which its absurd to think about the past much less the future.
Obviously my behavior, my being, was never accepted. No, depression does not exist; you must react with willpower, just as a diabetic with willpower can produce insulin without having to worry.
I don't know how many times I´ve found myself face to face with my life thinking about the moments that have slipped through my fingers like sand. How many times I´ve found myself face to face with I job I couldn't stand anymore. How many times I´ve had to understand why my relationships didn't work out. So many times.
How many times did Faith find herself face to face with Faith?... In a separate reality?
But... With the upcoming events in her life... so many things would change.
She did not think the day would take the direction it did. Faith Ashling, when she woke up that morning before dawn, with her heart pounding and a sense of oppression wrapping around her almost taking her breath away. Everyone was practically at home, her parents and her brother Sloan, the only one who truly understood her, but grandfather wasn't there, the only one able to calm her.
Nor were there animals present, any animal since she loved them all, with whom to exchange affection and love, a cat, a dog, to communicate with just as when she was little.
Lying still under the covers, looking at the ceiling and remembering when she was a child, tired of the banality of existence, she managed to enter her magical world, to withdraw into it and once inside she could imagine all the lives she wanted to live that often seemed more real than reality. She could walk into the woods and talk to the trees, to the plants, to the animals she'd encounter. She could think of the past and find herself in the middle of the French Revolution, see everything, be physically present only nothing could hurt her. She could create any future in which she would represent any character she wanted in those huge spacecrafts that travel across the universe. She was often in the future, that universe which consistently revealed surprising events, as if she could not control these imaginary journeys. She had a strange feeling, it was as if the universe was slightly different and fantastic when she embodied a different animal, the cat, the dog, the horse, the snake, the sheep and tried to look at the world and man through their own eyes.
Why couldn't she anymore? She wondered this also.
She came slowly down the stairs, called by her mother's voice to have breakfast. Thirty years old and still at home, she didn't even realize the time that had past. But now Faith Ashling couldn't take it anymore. She felt disappointed; she was very tired with this monotonous gray life.
Despite having a good position at her job, there was nothing new to report.
A veil of unfathomable gray loomed over her, over her body, her hair, her mind, her soul.
Her aquamarine eyes had lost their luster.
Every day she'd get up early, her unconscious would wake up before the sound of the alarm and it was as if she had not slept. As if her unconscious wanted to tell her something.
Every day she'd have breakfast and then get ready for work taking a quick glance at the domestic chaos that reigned in her room. By now she had become aware of not having any certainties, of never having the certainty of her name, of her job, of her house, but who was she really? When had she made a true... decision? When had she lived her life? Or only of the conditions.
Lately she wondered where had she gotten lost, where was that carefree child, curious, determined, that rebellious dreamer of ten, twelve, fifteen years old. She still felt rebellious, but now she also felt fluctuating, amorphous, apathetic, a soft breath.
Thinking about her life while riding along the road in her car like a robot, suddenly she “woke up” and saw in front of her the same old road she took every day and felt something inside her change. She swerved sharply a few moments before arriving at work, she wanted to breathe.