Overcome Shyness - Tiziana M. - ebook
Opis

When we think of someone being shy, we may think of a child who is hiding behind theleg of her mother because she fears strangers. Shyness was once considered to be anasset for little girls as well as women because it was associated with modesty. I canremember my daughter hiding behind my leg when she was a little girl and thinking thatit was so cute. I never saw shyness as an impediment and, like many other adults, foundthis type of behavior very “cute.”Shyness is not cute. To the contrary, it can cause you all sorts of problems in life. Peoplewho are shy are usually unable to express their feelings and have a much more difficulttime when it comes to building relationships. My daughter, for example, found itdifficult to make friends as she got older and to talk to strangers at parties. While peoplefound her to be cute as a child as she hid behind my leg, they found her to be aloof andunfriendly as she blossomed into adulthood.

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Table of Contents

Title Page

Chapter 1

Overcome Shyness

 

 

Discover Your Inner Confidence to Overcome Shyness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - Why Are We Shy? 3

Chapter 2 - When Shyness Can Be A Problem 7

Chapter 3 - Discovering The Inner You 10

Chapter 4 - Shyness In Business 13

Chapter 5 - Shyness In Social Situations 17

Chapter 6 - Using The Internet To Overcome Shyness 19

Chapter 7 - Taking A Step Towards Joining Groups 22

Chapter 8 - Taking A Class On Public Speaking 23

Chapter 9 - Do You Need Counselling? 24

Chapter 10 - How To Remain Free From Being Shy 26

 

 

Chapter 1 - Why Are We Shy?

When we think of someone being shy, we may think of a child who is hiding behind the

leg of her mother because she fears strangers. Shyness was once considered to be an

asset for little girls as well as women because it was associated with modesty. I can

remember my daughter hiding behind my leg when she was a little girl and thinking that

it was so cute. I never saw shyness as an impediment and, like many other adults, found

this type of behavior very “cute.”

Shyness is not cute. To the contrary, it can cause you all sorts of problems in life. People

who are shy are usually unable to express their feelings and have a much more difficult

time when it comes to building relationships. My daughter, for example, found it

difficult to make friends as she got older and to talk to strangers at parties. While people

found her to be cute as a child as she hid behind my leg, they found her to be aloof and

unfriendly as she blossomed into adulthood.

Before we can overcome shyness, we have to figure out why we are shy. There is no

easy answer to this question. Some people appear to be born shy and have a hard time

coming out of their shell to others. Other people seem to be more outgoing. I have done

a bit of research into what makes someone shy and found that two things often figure into

shyness - birth order as well as a lower self esteem. It is also important to realize that

shyness is not always so apparent. Some people, in an effort to not seem so shy will go

off in the opposite direction and appear to be very outgoing when they are struggling, on

the inside, to overcome this affliction. I can relate to this as I am one of those types of

individuals. Others often find me to be outgoing, but in reality, I get a sick feeling in my

stomach when I have to meet new people or exert myself in social situations.

Being shy does not mean that someone has a low self esteem, but it can be an indication

that their self esteem is a bit more fragile than someone who is not shy and is not, as a

result, self conscious. Through my research, I have found that those who are shy tend to

be very sensitive individuals who often make the mistake of thinking that everyone’s

attention is focused on them. They are afraid to make a mistake, say something silly or

do something that will cause others to notice them. They would rather fade into the

background than call attention to themselves.

Birth order also seems to play a roll in shyness. It is very often that the person who is shy

has older siblings that are very outgoing. I have often felt that this was the reason why

my daughter is so shy and the polar opposite of her older brother, who seems to be

comfortable wherever he happens to be and has no problem at all with shyness. Many

people who are shy are this way because they live in the shadow of an older sibling who

is anything but shy.

There is also the female factor. Although I tried to raise my boy and girl the same way

with the same set of values, I found that they are as different as chalk and cheese. I knew

that despite what others may think about the “cute little shy girl” that shyness would not

be an asset for my daughter. However, not everyone thinks this way. Some people still

think that it is cute for little girls to be shy - that it somehow makes them more ladylike.

This is not a plus when that little girl, as a woman, has to compete with other women as

well as men for jobs and types of recognition in life. There are still people who are under

the impression that shyness is a desirable quality in little girls. Because of this, they may

be more inclined not to concern themselves with shyness in their daughters as much as

they do with their sons.

Low self esteem is usually at the root of all shyness. A shy individual is usually afraid to

say something or do something that will bring attention to them because they fear

embarrassment. Many people are under the impression that a low self esteem is the result

of bullying, a poor childhood or some sort of deficit that a child has to endure. This is not

always the case. A child who is coddled by his or her parents can also develop a low self

esteem. Those who are overprotected may not feel as though they are capable of taking

care of themselves in the world and develop somewhat of a low sense of self worth.

There are many reasons why people develop a low sense of self esteem and varying

degrees of self esteem issues as well. Self confidence is something that can be built up in

a variety of different ways to increase self worth and also allow someone to be less self

conscious and shy.

Many people are aware of the fact that they are shy and avoid being in the limelight as

much as possible. Some people who are shy may over compensate for the fact that they

feel shy and go overboard in trying to draw attention to themselves. For the most part,

shyness is based upon a fear of rejection, most often due to a low self esteem. It

manifests itself differently with every individual. Some people need only have their idea

rejected once before they develop a low sense of self worth and an inferiority complex.

Others can take a lot of rejection before it starts to affect them negatively.