Love Of Legends: A BWWM Romance Novel - Robyn Francis - ebook

She's thirty-five, educated, thick and only interested in relationships that will last. Nathalie meets an attractive millionaire investment banker from Spain: Juan Garcia. She's attracted to him for his baffling good-looks and mind-blowing European charm. It doesn't hurt that she's always had a thing for a man in a leather jacket... Nathalie is terrified to commit despite the fiery emotions Juan brings out of her. Juan has a dark past that tests Nathalie's desire to run over and over again...Passion keeps pushing them together. Juan knows how to take charge more than anyone Nathalie's ever met. And Nathalie has a heart of gold that Juan needs in his life.When Nathalie reveals the true reason for her fear of commitment, both of them must face up to their biggest flaw or face ruining their relationship.They'll never have a chance at the legendary love they both crave if they run away now...It really is now or never...

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Love of Legends

By Robyn Francis

Copyright © 2016 Robyn Francis

This BWWM Romance Novel has been briefly published under a different name. However, it has been reworked and is better suited for its target audience.

Author’s Note:

This story contains sexually explicit content only appropriate for readers eighteen years or older. All characters in this book are 18+ and not blood relatives. All sexual acts in this book are consensual. There will be strong language in this book.

This book is a work of fiction. Any similarities to real people, places, or events are strictly coincidental. All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced or distributed in any format without the permission of the author.

The author acknowledges the trademarked status of products referred to in this book and acknowledges that trademarks have been used without permission.

Chapter 1

Nathalie felt lucky that Juan Garcia had asked her out on a second date. Their first date had gone well but Nathalie knew that given her position on certain topics, most modern men weren’t likely to call her back. It has just been the reality of her adult life. Most men didn’t agree with Nathalie’s staunch beliefs regarding almost everything and she had to be okay with that.

Nathalie was 35-years-old… and single. Nathalie wanted to be married more than anything. Her only issue was, she couldn’t find a man who understood her need for commitment in a real way. Men wanted to play games and Nathalie didn’t. She came from a long line of women who had been married young so Nathalie felt like the odd duck at almost every single Christmas gathering and Easter celebration. Most men she went out with were surprised to find out she was 35 and had never been married. They almost treated her like a freak. Nathalie wasn’t sure what world she lived in where being 35 and never married made you a liability rather than an asset.

But that wasn’t Nathalie’s M.O. In fact, if she did get married, she intended for that marriage to last forever. Too many people didn’t take their vows seriously enough. Nathalie often bitterly reflected on the fact that too many of those people were married anyways and she wasn’t.

But perhaps she had a chance with this guy. Nathalie hadn’t had a second date in a while. When Juan had asked her out again, she figured that she won the jackpot.

Something always seemed to get in the way of her dates pursuing her further. Men had complained that Nathalie was “frigid” or too “closed off”. Nathalie couldn’t figure out why no one had the patience to try to get to know her, to wait for her to unwind. It wasn’t her fault that she had standards for herself. It wasn’t her fault that she wanted to take things slow. Why did men want her to rush things anyways? Love just didn’t come as frivolously for Nathalie as it did for other people.

Juan looked over at his date and wondered what she was thinking. Sometimes she would drift off into marked periods of silence while he talked on and on. Juan’s inner mind was also active. He was looking his date up and down, wondering if he would get a chance to take her home that night.

He tried not to bring up the topic of sex on a first date. Juan preferred to do some things the traditional way. Juan tried to stay as closed off as possible for as long as possible really. Ever since what happened with his ex girlfriend, he wanted to be cautious when it came to women this time. At 45, he didn’t want to be doing the same old thing. He was looking to settle down.

Juan hadn't even expected to be in this position again. He thought that he had given up on dating until he met Nathalie. They had so much in common it was ridiculous. And unexpected. In the past, Juan had focused more on looks. That isn’t to say that Nathalie was ugly… But he’d always gone after a woman with a certain type of look. Nathalie carried herself well and she possessed far more depth than any woman Juan had dated in the past.

Nathalie was nothing like his recent ex in any way. In a sense, that was relieving for Juan. Even her appearance was completely different. Nathalie had shoulder length thick curly black hair. She had deep burnt umber colored skin and eyes so brown they were almost black. They gleamed and glistened in the light of the Thai restaurant, revealing Nathalie’s inner fire. She sipped her drink slowly; Juan couldn’t stop fantasizing about what else her plump rosy lips could do. Nathalie was tall, almost 5’8” and she had a thick voluptuous body. As he’d grown older, Juan found himself preferring curvier women. He didn’t have a problem with skinny women but he realized that thick women with tummies and stretch marks went largely underappreciated.

Nathalie’s style was more conservative than most. This surprised Juan too. Many women he’d considered before dating Nathalie tended to dress with far more skimpy clothing. Nathalie wore a very long black skirt with a white blouse that covered up her cleavage. The marked absence of her cleavage piqued his curiosity. Was there some deeper reason for her cover up?

He cleared his throat.

“So you were telling me that your parents are from Martinique?” Juan asked.

Nathalie answered, “Yeah, I was born there… But my French is terrible so I never really go back. It’s why my name sounds so French… Nathalie Duprée.”

Juan felt something stir inside him when he heard Nathalie’s French. He was born and raised in Spain; Nathalie’s cultural differences were something that he could understand. Juan had picked up on her difference before this date but Nathalie hadn’t revealed much.

It made sense. Juan knew there was something different about her. She wasn't culturally American.

Juan continued, “Well it’s a beautiful name…”

Nathalie smiled at the compliment. “What exactly do you do Juan? You sort of explained it to me last time but honestly I can’t remember for the life of me,” She asked.

Juan swallowed his mouthful of rice noodles.

“I’m an investment banker,” He said.

Juan usually hated revealing his profession to women early but he felt more comfortable with Nathalie than he had with anyone else. Juan wanted to open up to her desperately.

Nathalie was surprised to hear that was Juan’s profession. His style was a more laid back and casual European style. He looked more like an Italian bad ass with his black leather jacket, dark brown stubble peppering his face and icy blue eyes. Nathalie was forced to wonder how a guy like this could be single.

He was forty-five years old, gorgeous and wealthy, but there was no woman in the picture? It just didn’t seem to add up. Nathalie knew there was something going on beneath the surface but it felt too soon to ask.

Nathalie hoped that she would get a chance to find out soon though. She could really see this date going somewhere. She continued eating and her conversation with Juan moved on to less mundane subjects. They were both interested in reading as much as they could get their hands on about ancient empires.

Nathalie had studied ancient Greek in college for her minor and Juan had majored in Classics so he was familiar with both Latin and Greek. They were both totally nerdy for works most people hated like the Iliad or the Odyssey.

Juan and Nathalie were debating whether the system of Greek honor and glory needed a modern revival for a good thirty minutes before they realized the restaurant was emptying around them. Juan was getting it in his head that he wanted to take Nathalie home. She was gorgeous, intelligent and he couldn’t figure out how a woman that beautiful could have remained on the market for so long. He paid the tab in full and escorted Nathalie outside.

Her apartment wasn’t far from the restaurant so Juan offered to walk her home. Not just because he was hoping to get lucky that night; he worried about a woman braving the city streets at night. As Nathalie walked home with the gorgeous man at her side, she felt her faith being tested. Juan was the perfect guy in every way. He got Nathalie’s love for ancient literature. He understood that although she was soft spoken and quiet, that didn’t mean she was a fool or someone to be toyed with.

Would he drop her like a hot potato once he found out about Nathalie’s cautious side? So many men had done so in the past and they’d been up front about it too… They weren't afraid to tell her that was exactly why they had left. Nathalie was self conscious about the fact that she lacked the “vulnerability” to sleep with a man so soon but she still kept true to herself. That was far more important than judgment.

Nathalie didn’t want to mess things up with Juan but she wasn’t going to compromise her morals just because he was sexy. Sure, Juan was well over six feet tall and he had gorgeous dark brown hair and blue eyes. Sure, he had a smile that could captivate an entire room. Yes, he could talk her ear off about a subject no one else could even level with her on.

But that still didn’t mean it was safe to open up to him. Nathalie had been burned badly before and she couldn’t stand the idea of getting burned again. Nathalie knew that eventually she would have to come clean. She would have to tell Juan about all her fears about intimacy with him. But for now, she was fighting her urge to take things further with him.

When they arrived outside of her apartment door, the time to tell the truth came sooner than Nathalie had expected. Juan stopped and gave her that look. Nathalie knew what that look meant. She knew that what Juan wanted more than anything was to take her upstairs and experience her body. But Nathalie couldn’t give in to lust just yet…

As Juan moved in to kiss her, Nathalie stopped him.

“Wait!” She said.

Juan pulled back. That was it. This was the moment he was going to find out the woman standing before him was just another crazy. She was probably just as bad as his ex…

Nathalie continued, “I’m sorry… It’s not that I don’t like you… But you can’t come upstairs with me. I should have probably told you this earlier but… I can’t be intimate with a man I just met.”

Juan was partly relieved and partly confused. He was relieved because this meant she wasn’t crazy, just reserved. But Juan was confused because he had been receiving the opposite signals from her the entire night. He could feel Nathalie’s baser energies reaching out to him. He’d been certain that she wanted him from the way she’d looked at him. From the way she’d tilted her head.

As far as he could tell, she was just as attracted to him as he was to her. If she was turning him down now, whatever was holding her back must have been strong. Also, if what she was saying was true and she was telling the truth about having never been married, he couldn’t imagine that Nathalie had ever had relations with a man. She had mentioned not having any long-term boyfriends before.

Unlike with most men, the idea of sleeping with a virgin did nothing to excite Juan. In his youth he had made his conquests of squealing Spanish women and the novelty had worn off by the time he was thirty. He wasn’t desperate to be the man who would deflower her.

But he was interested in at least talking about this. He had enjoyed their date and he didn’t want a simple thing like Nathalie’s personal reservations to get in the way of them having another date. Her hesitation was unconventional for a modern woman and certainly a little bit unusual for him, but he was willing to give her a chance. Their chemistry was too great for him to turn her down.

“Can I at least give you a kiss?” Juan asked.

It was a reasonable request. Plus, Nathalie wanted him to kiss her anyways. That taste of more things to come would keep her focused on building their relationship to be something deeper.

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. He was the perfect kisser. She held him close for a few seconds. She let him push his tongue into her mouth. And then she pulled away. Any more of Juan and she didn’t know if she would be able to hold herself back. Self-control was critical at a time like this. Juan said goodnight one last time and walked out onto the empty street back to his home.

When Juan finally arrived in the safe sanctuary of his luxury apartment, he realized that he had a voicemail. A voicemail on his landline meant it could only be one person. But he was sick of hearing from her. He was sick of her begging. He was of sick everything about her.

Juan still couldn’t resist listening to the voice mail. He couldn’t resist letting her in in little ways like that. Her hold on him was tight despite his commitment to leaving her. Juan didn't even realize the extent to which she controlled him. Tina’s hands were still clasped around his heart even if he knew just how toxic she could be.

He pressed play. Her captivating voice filled every corner of the room as if she were standing right behind him. The hairs on the back of Juan’s neck stood up.

Hey… It’s me. I miss you. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry? Please give me another chance. Things will be different this time I promise… I know it sounds clichéd but we were meant to be. Everyone always said how good we looked together. I can’t bear the thought of you being with someone else. You belong to me Juan. I love you. Why don’t you come back? Why are you being so stubborn? I’ve already apologized 1000 times… I don’t know what you want for me. I guess I’m just calling to let you know that I miss you. Come back to me…

Tina. Juan’s ex-fiancée left him a voicemail like that nearly every night. It had been three weeks since she had called off the wedding and since Juan has found her in bed with a man she claimed was her “gay” yoga instructor. Based on the position he had found them in, at least she wasn’t lying about him being a yoga instructor.

But she had lied about everything else. Juan was heartbroken. He had moved out instantly to his old apartment. The wedding was called off. His life had fallen apart. Each day without her felt more painful than the last. In his quest to get over her, he had started dating again but it was like moving from caviar to catfish. No woman ever seemed to be able to give him that feeling Tina once did. Only Nathalie had given him any promise of moving on from her.

Nights when he thought he was moving on, she would leave a voicemail just like that and hearing her voice again he would be hooked in and hypnotized. Did she know what she was doing? Did she know how hard it was for him to move on when she kept calling him like that?

Juan pressed play and listened to the voicemail again. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help giving her one more chance to state her case. He pictured Tina’s face as he listened to it. Tina’s most visible trait was her heterochromia. Her entire life, she had a streak of white hair that stood out against her strawberry blonde strands. She had one eye that was bright blue like the ocean and another that was dark like an abyss…

Tina had blinding self-confidence. Partly because she had received so much attention for her rare genetic condition that the she perceived the attention as adoration and a declaration of her beauty. In truth and in fact she was average, suburban and unsexy. Juan had been drawn to her anyways. Perhaps there was something hypnotic about her strange eye color.

Otherwise there had to be something else about her. She had the talent of knowing how to please men. Despite the fact that she was physically bland -- thin with small breasts and an even smaller ass -- she knew exactly what made him tick. She held Juan’s emotions in the palm of her hand she wasn’t afraid to toy with them to get exactly what she wanted. And when what she wanted was Juan, he had felt ecstatic… He had felt like she was his one true love.

Just listening to that voicemail, Juan pushed Nathalie to the back of his mind. He was hooked on Tina again emotionally. Why call that girl back anyways? She was reserved, far different from the European openness he was accustomed to and Juan didn’t know if he wanted any part in what she had to offer. How had waiting for sex ever helped him?

No… Nathalie would find some other guy. Now, he was thinking about Tina. Tina wanted him again. Yes, she had betrayed him but maybe she was right. Maybe things would be different if he just gave her another chance. Infidelity could be forgiven, right?

Nathalie had no idea what sorts of ideas Juan was turning around in his head after their second date. In her world, everything had gone perfectly. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. Perhaps if she had any idea what he was preoccupied about she would have gotten over him quickly. But Nathalie hadn’t a clue.

All she could think about was what was coming next. Would he call her? Where would they go on their third date? Was he actually looking for something real and serious here?

The next day, Nathalie didn’t hear a word from Juan but she didn’t mind. She had an appointment to get her nails done with her best friend Ebony Houston. Ebony and Nathalie had been best friends since they were kids. Nathalie relied on her for everything from spiritual advice to relationship advice.

Ebony was one of these people who was wise beyond her years. She had been through so much in her life that even if she was young, she possessed more wisdom than the oldest crone. She was Nathalie’s rock and she would know exactly how to handle Nathalie’s uncertainty with this new relationship.

Nathalie and Ebony sat next to each other while a plump Vietnamese manicurist got to work on their nails. Ebony was eager to find out whether Nathalie had taken her hot date home.

Ebony considered herself to be a devout Christian, but in her mind, there were some things that God would just have to understand…

“No! Told you time and time again girl, I’m not having sex with a guy until I get to know him really well. Like after two years or something,” Nathalie said.

Ebony side eyed Nathalie hard.

“Girl, you must be joking. You are thirty-five years old and you aren’t getting any younger. I’m not saying God doesn’t have a plan for you… but I’m just saying. How much longer are you going to wait? I think if you like a guy and you’re coming from a pure place, the Lord will understand,” Ebony said.

Maybe Ebony was right. But at this stage, Nathalie had committed to waiting with men. She’d committed to pushing them away and forcing them to prove her right -- all men do is leave you.

Nathalie did everything by the books. Nothing was going to be changed for a man. Her feelings for him didn’t matter. If she let him have access to her heart too quickly, all he would do was dash her hopes against the rocks. Nathalie didn’t understand how Ebony could be so optimistic about men.

Nathalie gave that whole lecture to Ebony who had heard Nathalie’s beliefs a thousand times. That girl was too stubborn when it came to her ideas about men. Ebony couldn’t understand how Nathalie had survived a virgin that long; she didn’t understand why she chose that life but she was willing to support her friend.

“I just feel like once guys find out I’m a virgin they don’t want to call me back. I just don’t think I’m going to get a third date out of him,” Nathalie said exasperated.

Ebony replied, “Are you telling me you are thirty-five years old and you’re too afraid to make the first move and ask a guy out? Girl, you really live in the dark ages.”

“Not the dark ages, I’m just traditional. I don’t see what’s wrong with that you know,” Nathalie said pouting.

At the very least, the polish the manicurist was putting on her nails looked beautiful. That cheered her up a bit even if she wasn’t hearing what she wanted to from Ebony.

Ebony understood where Nathalie was coming from, but she also knew that woman needed a kick in the butt more than anything. She was always giving up on perfectly decent men waiting for some fantastical “perfect” Prince Charming who didn’t exist. Nobody was perfect -- no man and no woman. Ebony believed that perfection was only for God.

“The second we leave here, you had better call him up and ask him out for a third date if you want one. I ain’t playing with you anymore, you need to start taking this man seriously if you ever want to get booed up forever,” Ebony chastised.

The manicurist finally finished. Ebony and Nathalie admired their matching look and Ebony walked Nathalie home so she could monitor her and make sure she called Juan and asked him out again.

She was serious about kick starting Nathalie’s love life. Ebony was tired of this woman complaining about how single she was all the time. She was ready to take the bull by the horns if Nathalie wouldn’t.

When they got to Nathalie’s apartment, she made the call…

This was the first time Nathalie had stepped out of her comfort zone for a chance at love. Something about Juan and Ebony’s harassment had stirred her into action.

Chapter 2

Juan couldn’t believe that he had agreed to another date with this new woman. He has been so wrapped up in his ex that he hardly remembered Nathalie and how they had hit it off. He wasn’t going to call her, but she called him. It had to be a sign. He couldn’t spend all his time grieving over Tina anyways. A part of him knew that he would have to let go. He couldn’t hold on to her forever.

Nathalie had invited him over for dinner in her apartment. She said that she would cook. Under any other circumstances, he would have interpreted her invitation as an invitation for something besides dinner. But this was a woman who had told him upfront how disinterested she was in exploring sex. Maybe that would make things easier… Juan didn’t know if he could handle sleeping with another woman in his heart still preoccupied someone else. Without pressure, maybe he could be himself.

I’m trying to get over her. He thought to himself. But all his efforts seemed hapless. His mind had a singular occupation.

When he arrived at Nathalie’s place, she was the perfect hostess. He would’ve expected nothing less. She was dressed tastefully but she looked beautiful. She wore a lovely pair of dark wash jeans that complemented her curvy hips and large figure. She wore a gorgeous emerald green top that fully covered her cleavage. Juan realized she wasn’t joking about the modesty. She was nearly finished cooking by the time he arrived, but not quite done. She topped Juan up with a glass of her best red wine to occupy him during the wait. Nathalie was giddy; she loved cooking for a man. She’d been longing for an appreciative mouth to feed for a while too.

They began talking and Juan remember that fuzzy feeling he got on the second date all over again. Tina who? He didn’t need to be hung up on a woman from the past who didn’t respect him. This new opportunity was right in front of him.

Nathalie was nervous, but she wanted to bring up her virginity another time to clarify things. She could sleep with Juan any time, she just needed to be sure. She needed to feel ready. She’d waited so long for the right guy and the more time passed, the more important the decision felt.

“I know this may be uncomfortable for you but I felt like I should bring us up… I’m not afraid of losing my virginity or anything. It’s strictly a personal thing. If I find the right guy… I really think I could enjoy it… Does it weird you out that I’m thirty-five and a virgin?” Nathalie asked.

What a loaded question. Juan didn’t know how he should answer it. What exactly should he say? He sipped wine and pushed his brown hair out of his face. He looked Nathalie up and down. She was gorgeous, with beautiful dark skin and a vibrant energy that you couldn’t replicate anywhere else. Weird? Of course he found it weird. She was one of the most beautiful and energetic people he had ever met yet somehow she had never been intimate with anyone. Juan realized that he could be diplomatic or be honest. And he picked honesty.

“I want to be honest with you so I’m just gonna say yeah… It’s a bit weird but not for the reason you think. Look… I respect your choices Nathalie. I just can’t believe a hot guy hasn’t taken you off the market long ago,” Juan said.

He smiled widely. His blue eyes gleamed in the light of her kitchen. His gaze was captivating. Nathalie was already almost reconsidering her commitment to herself.

Nathalie was starting to think that her attentiveness to scripture was finally starting to pay off. At last, God had brought a man into her life who was willing to give her a chance despite the fact she was different from most modern women. Nathalie had always known she was doing the right thing by saving herself for marriage. She was already deep in her marriage fantasy when she smelled her food burning.

“Oh no!” Nathalie yelled. She sprinted to the stove.

It wasn’t so bad. Only a tiny amount of brown rice had burned but her meal was essentially salvageable. She served the baked lamb, black beans, rice and Caesar salad to her date. Juan was impressed. Tina couldn’t cook worth a damn. She always made unseasoned chicken and canned corn…

As they ate, Juan brought up the fact that he had just started reading a new translation of Oedipus Rex. Nathalie was intrigued… She still had her old copy from college and she hadn’t flipped through it in years.

Nathalie loved a good tragedy. The emotional ups and downs of a tragic play satisfied her desire for a good story far more than an overly optimistic comedy.

The ate their dinner and engaged in furious debate about the play. Before Nathalie knew it, all their food was gone and they had each finished two glasses of wine. The sun had set. Juan’s hand was on her thigh. Nathalie wanted his hand to keep crawling up and up and up… She couldn’t believe that she was thinking like this.

“Do you want to move this over to the couch?” Nathalie asked.

She shocked herself with the way she had initiated this so smoothly.

Juan complied. He wasn’t sure where exactly Nathalie was going with this but he was willing to take things slow with her. He just needed to keep one thing in mind: no sex. It should be pretty simple. I’m a grown man. I can restrain myself. Juan pepped himself up and followed Nathalie to the couch.

As they sat next to each other, Juan noted Nathalie’s scent. It was a classic lavender scent that Juan would have recognized anywhere. It was the same perfume his mother used to wear…

The scent brought Juan back to the warmth of his childhood, growing up in the Spanish countryside with his brothers and sisters. No time to think of the past. There was a beautiful woman before him in the present and his mind had wandered off of her long enough.

“Tell me more about yourself... What was your childhood like?” Juan asked. The smell of wine on his breath was intoxicating to Nathalie.

“I’m a Catholic. So I grew up pretty conservatively. I know that might surprise you but most of Martiniquans are Catholic. France, you know?” Nathalie said.

It was at least a relief to know that Nathalie wasn’t a part of some bizarre cult. Juan didn’t know much about the small French colony but he was willing to learn more. There was no doubt in his mind that Nathalie had an interesting story.

Juan nodded.

“I suppose I was a Catholic once, so I understand your point of view. Does it bother you… That I’m not devout?” Juan asked.

Something about the way he said the word “devout” aroused Nathalie’s attention. She couldn’t take her eyes off his plush pink lips that looked oh so soft and kissable. Who cared if he was devout? As long as he respected her wishes and he was available for steamy makeout sessions, she didn’t mind at all.

“No I don’t mind,” Nathalie whispered.

She leaned in for a kiss. Nathalie felt a tingling down there as she kissed Juan. Those lustful urges were mounting higher and higher the longer she sat next to him and the longer she felt his warmth. Suppressing her animal instincts was getting harder and harder.

“Tell me more about your faith Nathalie. How does one stay devoted in a world full of heathens?” Juan asked.

For a second, Nathalie heard his Spanish accent slip out and it made her feel all hot and heavy. There was something about an authentic European accent that drove her wild.

Nathalie took a deep breath and told Juan the truth. She was dedicated in some respects but her devotion to her faith was far from perfect. There was always room for improvement. Always more time she could make for church and for the French Catholic community.

“Sometimes I don’t know how I stay so devoted. A part of me has been doing it so long it’s habitual. But I have my doubts. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have my doubts… But I’m just guided by a higher power. God has a larger plan for me,” She said.

“Hmm,” Juan considered what Nathalie said. He leaned in for another kiss, pulling Nathalie’s face closer to his. Nathalie nearly ripped off her clothes and gave in to her every desire right then, but Juan pulled away just in the nick of time.

“So Nathalie… Does your commitment to remaining chaste involve other things? Does this mean that you’ve never performed oral sex?” Juan asked.

Nathalie shook her head. She was surprised but not turned off by Juan’s bluntness.

“No sir,” She answered.

Something about that “sir” hinted at Nathalie’s submissiveness. Juan felt his cock rising in his pants and he hoped desperately that Nathalie didn’t notice his tumescence.

“Hmm… And you’ve never had oral sex performed on you?” Juan asked.

“No sir,” Nathalie said again. This time, the submissiveness in her voice was deliberate. Juan felt his cock stiffening in his pants.

“And you’ve never had a man in other holes,” Juan asked.

Nathalie felt heat rushing to her cheeks. “No sir,” She answered again. Juan couldn’t restrain himself. He pulled Nathalie close and kissed her again. Nathalie let out an involuntary moan as Juan trailed kisses down her neck and collarbone. Nathalie grabbed onto Juan tightly. She wondered what he would do next. She knew that at some point, she would have to put her foot down and stop him. She was committed to her beliefs.

Juan pulled away again.

“So are you opposed to receiving a man’s tongue?” Juan asked. Nathalie was shaking like a leaf. She wasn’t opposed to it at all, but she was nervous. She had never had a man get so intimate with her. Plus, this was only their third date. If she let him go down on her, would he think that she was easy?

Nathalie shook her head. “I’m not opposed, it’s just that no man has ever offered to do that.”

Juan raised his eyebrows he was intrigued.

“How many men have you dated?” He asked skeptically. As if he couldn’t fathom why a man wouldn’t want to pleasure a woman.

“More than you care to know… Let’s just say more than ten,” Nathalie answered.

Honesty didn’t mean compromising her feminine mystique.

Juan smirked. “Well let me be your first… I’ll go slow. If you don’t like it at any point, I’ll stop and go home okay?” Juan said.

Nathalie nodded. She was starting to relax. Something about Juan and doing this act with Juan specifically made her feel calm. She knew that he wouldn’t hurt her and that he only had her pleasure in mind.

Juan helped Nathalie slide out of her jeans. He moved the denim over her chubby hips and pulled it to the ground. When he saw her thighs, he felt his cock getting harder. Her thighs were thick and they weren’t “slim thick” either. He could tell Nathalie was a well fed woman. Nathalie spread her legs and Juan kneeled between them. He rolled her underwear off slowly; he wanted to give her plenty of time to back out before he began his work.

With Nathalie’s pussy exposed, Juan admired her for a few moments. Nathalie was breathing deep and slow, trying to stay relaxed. But something about the way Juan was just staring at her pussy unnerved her.

“Is it okay?” Nathalie asked nervously.

If it wasn’t so innocent, Juan would have found it amusing. He’d never been with a woman who was thirty-five years old who was self conscious about her pussy. Hell, most thirty-five year olds Juan had slept with had a few kids already. Self consciousness was a thing of the past for them. But Nathalie had been a late bloomer and her shyness was almost childlike.

Juan looked up at her and smiled.

“Your pussy is perfect. Lay your head back… Relax. You’re beautiful,” He whispered.

Nathalie lay her head back. Juan admired her untouched pussy. It was truly untouched in every way. Nathalie had never shaved her pussy or her legs. Her full bush was thick and curly, just like the natural hair on her head. That’s what women in Europe were like. Juan loved how natural she was. There was something down to earth about a woman who didn’t buy into all the hype about labiaplasty and constantly changing and changing her body to reach some unattainable standard. There was beauty in just being yourself.

Juan pried Nathalie’s pussy lips apart. The ticklish sensation of his fingers touching her outer lips was enough to make Nathalie gush. Her pussy was excited for entry already. Juan dipped his head down to her mound and inhaled her natural scent. Oh God… Her pussy smelled like sweet honeysuckle. Juan was intoxicated by her scent. He began to lick the pink treasure between Nathalie’s pussy lips.

She gasped out loud the moment his tongue brushed against her clit. This was pleasure beyond any she had ever known. Was this what she had been missing out on this whole time? Juan kept working Nathalie’s clit. He massaged it slowly with his tongue and then ran his tongue in slow broad strokes over her entire pussy. Nathalie was gasping more and more and she felt her core tightening as if she was approaching some sort of grand release.

Nathalie cried out loudly as she came. It was all involuntary. She couldn’t wrap her mind around all the sensations she was experiencing.

“Oh God! Oh God!” She cried as she clutched her couch.

She had never felt anything so good that it drove her so quickly to blasphemy. Juan lifted his head from her pussy. He knew that he wanted to he could make her cum again and again. But for now, he was just giving her a little taste of what could be. He was starting to unlock Nathalie’s mind to the sexual possibilities that existed if they continued their relationship.

Nathalie was trembling with pleasure when Juan rested his hand on her thighs. The warm feeling of his hand seemed to quell her quivering for a moment.

“Are you okay?” Juan asked.

Nathalie whispered, “Yes.”

She still felt surges of pleasure emanating from her pussy. It was as if her orgasm wasn’t quite over.

“No more for tonight,” Juan said. He stood up and prepared himself to leave. Nathalie just sat there on her couch, in awe of Juan’s skill. He was playing his hand perfectly.

“I’ll call you,” Juan said before he left. It was the best third date Nathalie had ever had.

She was struggling to convince herself not to sleep with Juan after that. The taste he’d given her of what was to come infected Nathalie’s mind. Her body had never felt so plump with desire.

Chapter 3

After two more dates, Nathalie felt like she was closer than ever to Juan. He hadn’t brought up their sort-of sexual escapade at all. He seemed content just to know Nathalie and he had no interest in pressuring her to do more. But Nathalie couldn’t stop thinking about that night. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way Juan’s tongue probed her so deeply. She couldn’t stop thinking about when she finally reached release. It was like she finally understood why all the women around her were so desperate to always have a man in their life. Men could bring you pain, but they could bring so much pleasure too.

Nathalie knew it was wrong to keep fixating on her lust. This was especially true because she was sitting in church. She picked up her fan and started to fan herself. The heat of her inappropriate arousal surged through her body and she just needed to cool down and focus.

It was harder than usual to keep focus on the priest’s message. Father Anthony was speaking about faith and how difficult it can be to keep the faith in a world full of secular people. Amen to that. Nathalie knew more than anyone how hard it was. But Nathalie also knew that she would never lose her faith. No matter how hard seductive voices pulled her away from what she knew was the true path to righteousness, she would always maintain the course.

Father Anthony continued to preach about strategies his congregation could use to stay faithful. He advised attending church weekly. He advised committing to a weekly devotional. Nathalie thought it was a good point. Was she occupied with matters of the flesh because she didn’t dedicate more of her time to meditation and prayer? The priest advised apologizing for wrongdoing and remaining humble. His final suggestion was what stuck with Nathalie the most.

He advised staying away from temptation and finding a way to serve the parish with time or money. It wasn’t a bad idea… Dedicating more time to her church community would certainly prevent Nathalie’s mind from being preoccupied with this handsome man.

After the church service, Nathalie considered going to confession but she had too much to discuss with Ebony. She was ready to confess her night’s illicit encounter to her best friend. She knew this was the kind of dirt Ebony would be interested in. Ebony always longed for the day when Nathalie would start to “live a little”.

“Ebony, I have something to confess,” Nathalie said as they exited the church.

“Shouldn’t you be telling Father Anthony this?” Ebony teased, thinking that this was another one of Nathalie’s “sins” that was usually something quite benign.

Nathalie waited to be standing outside of the church’s four walls before she continued.

Nathalie told Ebony, “So when Juan came over for our second date, I did something wrong. Except I don’t think it was that wrong. And it didn’t feel wrong. I don’t plan to sleep with him still but I let Juan put his mouth down there.”

“Girl, he ate you out?!” Ebony half yelled.

She was well informed about the depth of Nathalie’s naivete. She had a hard time understanding how a woman Nathalie’s age could have gone quite so long without experiencing all the world of sex had to offer.

“Shh!” Nathalie shushed Ebony.

“Don’t talk so loudly girl we just came from church!” Nathalie whispered.

Ebony whispered in kind, “I’m sorry girl but you cannot give me news like that and expect me to keep my ass quiet! No way, no how. So what’s next? Are you finally gonna give it up?”

“No… I don’t know… I’m starting to realize that I want to. We’re five dates in and I can tell he’s for real you know. He hasn’t brought sex up once ever since he… you know,” Nathalie replied.

Ebony considered what her friend was saying for a moment. From all she had heard, Nathalie was completely enamored with this man. She had finally found someone who was patient with her. She had found a man who wouldn’t pressure her. Ebony thought that was the basic thing Nathalie needed.

“Girl You know what I think? I think you should give it up…” Ebony suggested.

Nathalie was surprised. Ebony had never encouraged her so brazenly to sleep with a man. Before Juan, Ebony had seemed neutral about all of Nathalie’s boyfriends.

“Why?” Nathalie asked.

Ebony answered her honestly, “You finally found a man is willing to sit and wait. You know he would wait until marriage even! Why deny yourself the pleasure? Let me tell you… If a man is that skilled with his tongue, he’s skilled other places too. Hell if you feel that bad about it, you can just confess…”

“Okay...” Nathalie considered what her friend was suggesting but her nose was still wrinkled. There was a part of her that was still so reserved.

“At the very least, if you are going to let him go all the way at least return the favor. It’s not hard. Once you put your tongue on that thing they go wild,” Ebony teased.

Nathalie grimaced. She knew nothing about performing those acts on men. But she would consider it if it could keep Juan interested without her having to compromise her morals. Nathalie was just nervous. She had never gone that far with the man before. What would be expected of her sexually? A man as attractive and unapologetically seductive as Juan could have anyone he wanted. Could she even perform to his standards?

Coincidentally, she was supposed to meet up with Juan later anyways. Nathalie decided to give Ebony’s advice some additional thought.

She kissed Ebony on the cheek goodbye and made her way home. Juan was coming over for drinks later and she wanted to perfect her mojito recipe beforehand. Nathalie didn’t drink much but she was trying to be a lot more fun since she was dating someone new who she actually liked. There was something about dating a new man that brought out her best. She was constantly being inspired these days to try new things and she walked around the permanent smile plastered across her face.

He was changing her entire outlook on everything. He was giving her hope that she could actually be married one day and actually have a future with someone. The fact that Juan was white didn’t matter to her at all. In the Caribbean, interracial relationships were so common. Nathalie wondered if the same were true for Juan. Did he mind that she was black? Was he attracted to her because of it or despite it? This insecurity about his attraction to her was an underlying fear of Nathalie’s.

Juan showed up right on time. He was wearing a brand-new leather jacket when he entered the house. There was something about a man with dark hair and blue eyes and a leather jacket that reminded Nathalie of her teenage crush on Rob Lowe. Juan kissed her on the lips and sat down at her kitchen counter on one of Nathalie’s bar stools to enjoy the perfect mojito she had whipped up.

“This is amazing,” Juan complimented her.

He was so stressed out he could have downed the entire drink all at once. He felt like he needed this liquid courage just to make it through the night. It had taken all of his energy to make it to Nathalie’s house. He had spent most of the day grieving his former relationship and preoccupied with Tina but now he was relieved to at least have some female company that wasn’t going to induce severe anxiety.

They drank together for a while and Nathalie tried her best to move closer and closer to Juan. She had a plan in mind and she wanted to execute it perfectly. She didn’t know if she was successfully creating a hot and heavy atmosphere but she was trying her best to be not just beautiful but sexy. She wanted to tap into her inner sensuality. For once, Nathalie wanted to appear like a sex goddess. She wanted to be enticing, even if she didn’t know quite how to do it.

She rested her hand on Juan’s thigh and he looked her in the eyes. He knew what she was thinking but he wasn’t certain. Could her mind really be going there? Could she really be considering this? Juan had backed off of the issue of sex because he knew it would mean something to her and it might not necessarily mean anything to him. If she was bringing it up now, we have to go through with it to satisfy her before he was emotionally ready?

“What are you thinking?” Juan asked her.

“I’m thinking about you… And certain things I’d like to do to you,” Nathalie said in her best sultry voice. Her chubby cheeks broke out into a soft grin.

She wondered if it came out as sexily as she had imagined it. Juan was so hyped up by how forbidden it was for him to even think sexually about her that it didn’t take much for him to become completely aroused. What things did she have in mind?

Juan whispered seductively, “What do you have in mind Nathalie?”

Again, his Spanish accent stirred something in Nathalie. His Mediterranean look and his occasional dip into a Spanish accent turned her on. She loved the idea of a wealthy, foreign man giving her an indescribable introduction into intimacy.