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by Surely Wilder
Published by Lot’s Cave
I Would Have Never, © 2017, Surely Wilder
Cover by Morgaine Wrightman
All Rights Reserved
All Characters In This Book Are Age 18 Or Older
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this ebook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to the Lot’s Cave website and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
A Lot’s Cave Novel
I Would Have Never
My Dearest Darling,
I would have never agreed to accompany you to the cotillion that fateful evening had it not been for the terror of this brutal war that now envelopes our land. I knew that the coming months would be horrid for you, and I wanted you to have at least one night of beauty to inspire you to return home to us. I do confess to you that I felt unworthy of your attention. Had the ravages of the day not interrupted the normal progression of events, I would have had more time to prepare. Even more concerning, could you erase the memories of me working and playing as a man. I have never understood the coy requirements of feminine decorum, though I have benefited from the courtesies of that status. Still, I have never compared to the superior beauty of other women and always felt myself inadequate due to my shorter height and demure build. Could you possibly find my appearance to be pleasing? I do hope that the way I prepared myself for that eventful night was enough to allay the atrocious images you must see each day. I hope that our one night together, and the sublime images of the elegant ball we experienced together might give you courage to sustain the brutality of the coming months. It was both my honor and privilege as a daughter of the South to accompany you to the gala the night before your departure, and I do hope that the memory of the young goddesses in their stunning dresses, the glistening crystal, and the resplendent surroundings resonates as fully in your heart as it does in mine.
I would have never believed that you could appear so dashing, elegant, and handsome dressed in your Confederate uniform. When I beheld you from atop the stairs of my plantation home, my heart leapt in my breast to see the young boy I had played with all those years ago become such a dashing and debonair soldier. You were the very image of gallantry and heroism come to life. For a moment, and I do mean a brief moment, I felt unworthy of your company; but then I saw how you gazed at me, and it gave me courage. It pleased me to see that you were just as pleasantly surprised by my feminine costume as I was with your masculine attire, and I thrilled as your eyes swept over my body to take in the prize I would give you that night.
I would have never worn such a revealing dress had my mother not reminded me that my appearance was designed to inspire all of our boys who would soon be asked to make the ultimate sacrifice. Showing the tops of my smallish breasts seemed such a little thing to ask, and the corset underneath brought my bosom together in such a way that made me look bigger than I really was. I want you to know that I chose the crimson colored gown so that my body and form might give comfort and beauty to both you and all the others who would attend the bash. I know the neckline of my garment was quite daring, and it pleased me when I saw your eyes dart to my bare cleavage and know that you were excited by the display of my unfettered breasts beneath the soft material of the bodice. I had never felt the flush of womanly excitement so intensely until that moment, darling; and I was elated to know that I could make you drop your gentlemanly standards even if it was for the briefest of unguarded moments as you stared openly at my womanly charms as I descended the staircase. I hope that as you read this missive you are reminded of that image.