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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
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Liczba stron: 29
Dealing with people is probably the biggest challenge everybody faces no matter what their occupation, goals or ambitions. By applying the principles contained in this book, you can increase your confidence, your influence and your effectiveness. You will learn how to get others working alongside you instead of pulling in their own direction. By taking the time and effort to learn how to better interact with people around us, we increase our ability to do anything we want to do.
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
"Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that has the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses."
"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are"
"If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance."
When you get the urge to criticize someone, stop and try to figure out why they say the things they do. Criticism never achieves a positive result.
People never criticize themselves, but always rationalize that they are forced to act the way they do by factors beyond their control. Criticism is futile because it immediately puts the other person on the defensive.
Criticism is also dangerous as it fosters resentment that can smolder for years and come back to haunt us at the worst possible moment. In the long run, the short term satisfaction is not worth the long term pain.
Many studies show that people respond more completely to positive rewards than to negative scolding. Whenever you get the urge to correct someone through criticism, start on yourself. From a purely selfish point of view, you'll gain much more.
People are creatures of logic, not reason. People are filled with passions, prejudices and contradictions. Why try to deal with a matter of emotion through the logic of reason. It just won't work.
People don't have many wants, but what they want deep down they crave with all their hearts. Herein lies the key in dealing with other people──find out what it is they really want and show them how to get it. Do this for a person and they will move mountains for you.
If our ancestors had not had a burning desire for a feeling of importance, civilization would have been impossible──we would be acting just like animals. If we can find out from what source a person draws their own personal feeling of importance, we have the key to their character.
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