Family Feuds - Ongama Mtimka - ebook

Family Feuds: God has a plan amidst all the Chaos reflects critically on how some of the worst conflicts and violations of the rights of family members in their homes end up working together for the good of the victims in future. Using biblical narratives and critical personal reflection from observations in life, the author explores a subject that is pressing for many people in the twenty first century. The central proposal in the book is that violations of rights, betrayals, rejections, become the material with which God inculcates certain character traits he needs developed to achieve his purposes. 

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Ongama Mtimka

Family Feuds

God Has a Plan Amidst All The Chaos

To my wife Nonkazimlo Mtimka (nee Madikizela). You are a great inspirationBookRix GmbH & Co. KG80331 Munich


Were it not for divine inspiration, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, I would not have had the ability to translate my observations into plausible lessons applicable to a global readership. But praised be to the Lord God almighty, I have the ability to learn from life, reflecting critically on various phenomena to gain deeper insights. I am greatly indebted to God for this.

To my wife, Nonkazimlo and children, Anga, and Judah, thank you for lending me the time to write and complete this project, notwithstanding the long nights I spent away from you all. Your love and support was spurred me on.  

I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Apostle Jerome and prophetess Eunice Liberty who tend to my and my family’s spiritual needs at Victory Ministries International. Mbulelo and Nomalizo Ngewu have offered great support in our marriage and have been a sounding board on many occasions.

My families have left an indelible mark in my life from my formative years to adulthood. I would like to thank them for allowing God to use them to achieve his purposes concerning my life.

Special thanks goes to Selwyn Milborrow of Milborrow Media for all the encouragement and support in making the book and actually getting it out there for the world to read.



Ongama Mtimka is a strategist, researcher, and a spiritual leader with a focus on the marketplace. He speaks on various international platforms and serves as a political analyst for South African and international media. He has 15 years’ experience in marketing communications, executive support, research and teaching, small business development services, and spiritual leadership. He lectures at the Nelson Mandela University in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, while also completing his PhD. He is the founder and chief executive of Lawula Group, a small business services and strategy consulting business. He consults to various business development and venture finance institutions. He serves in the leadership team of Victory Ministries International in Port Elizabeth, South Africa and is an ordained marketplace apostle. Ongama is the director for business development at Bophilo Impilo Development Centre. He is a qualified Business Coach and Mentor. He holds a Bachelor of Arts (Journalism) from Rhodes University, Masters in South African Politics and Political Economy from Nelson Mandela University, and a Diploma in Ministry and Markeplace Leadership from Ministry & Marketplace Leadership Academy. Ongama is married to venture finance specialist and spiritual leader, Nonkazimlo, and they are blessed with two boys.





God’s intention is for mankind to live in peace with one another, more especially within the family unit. Conflict in families causes much bitterness and cripples many communities. Instability in family life sets the tone for how a person responds to other relationships in wider society.

Ongama Mtimka boldly tackles “family feuds”, a subject that has broken the spines of many families throughout history. His passion for the study of politics affords him a great analytical toolkit with which he decodes the phenomenon at a family level. He presents a compelling study on how this has played itself out from biblical accounts to the 21st century.

Since the early days in the Garden of Eden, Satan has relentlessly attacked the family unit. Attacks on families many times cause people to fall away from God. In Genesis 4:6-7, God challenges Cain to ‘let go of his anger and the scowl on his face, do the right thing and smile, and avoid the sin that’s crouching at the door and wants to rule him.

However, pride in family feuds precludes harmony and fuels antagonism. Humility, however, is crucial if families are to overcome feuds. After all, “God opposes the proud but favors the humble” (James 4:6b). Satan always uses pride and confusion to turn people away from God’s word and cause them to focus on strife and feuds. Unbeknown to those concerned, “… where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work” (James 4:16, KJV).

Ongama suggests that remaining within the bounds of God’s Law is key to harmony and synergy within the family. The call to honour one’s father and mother still stands to this day and has the promise of a long life (Exodus 20:12). Sons and daughters should listen to their father’s instruction and not forsake their mother’s teaching’ (Proverbs 1:8). “Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged” (Colossians 3:20-21).

The principles of God referred to in this book allow individuals to live out the full purpose of their lives. Ongama Mtimka confronts a phenomenon that is ravaging society and affecting the peace and stability that is supposed to be in the family. Never has there been a better time to broach the subject of family feuds than in these end-times.

It’s time!


Jerome Liberty


My family has issues! This lamentation is not uncommon for many people around the world. It is in their families that many have been through some of the most challenging experiences in their lives. Abuse, favouritism, parental rejection, desertion, politics of inheritance and succession and other emotionally-taxing feuds are some of the challenges people get exposed to at an early stage in their lives.

Because these happen among people whom we value the most, their consequences have a greater and more severe impact than those which happen in other social settings. Indeed, politicians can take backstabbing by comrades because the latter are not their flesh and blood. Managers can accept being fired or demoted and getting replaced by subordinates they have mentored because that’s just how life gets sometimes. They know business can be vicious.

But home is home, a place where we are supposed to come for refuge when it gets tough “out there” in the world. It is a place of succour and nurturing; a place where we expect praise for the great strides we have made in life. Our family members, more than anybody else, know what we have had to overcome and what we have sacrificed to get there, after all. It is a place where we should be understood when we have failed; where we are encouraged and comforted to enter the ring of life again and win. But this is not always the case. Family life can also resemble a living hell, with feuds and warfare alternatively simmering and erupting over many years, if not decades, sometimes involving a number of factions and even several generations.

With this in mind, this book is written to help many people come to terms with feuds in their families. It is particularly addressed to people who see themselves as victims in family feuds. I intend to empower these people to gain perspective on what they are going through and give them practical ways to pursue the best possible outcomes from feuds, maximising the gains and minimising the losses.

The key emergent message in the following chapters is that there are often bigger issues at play in family feuds. These bigger issues may even be about shaping the necessary character orientation for great achievement in public life. So what seems to be very private and unique struggles facing various people at home may actually be more than that. Because of this, it is possible to minimise the potential negative consequences of family conflicts and transform and transcend the pain and suffering.

However, God is not a God of disorder and conflict. Only good gifts come from God and he cannot be tempted with evil. But He allows evil and the people who allow themselves to be used it to pursue their agenda so that He can accomplish His own purposes. An example of this can be found in the story of the temptation of the dreaded Judas Iscariot. It was his love for money and his jealousy, which were both evil traits inspired by Satan, that led to him betraying Jesus. God did not supernaturally block his evil plotting but allowed it to continue so that the pre-ordained work of the crucifixion might be accomplished. Likewise, though we also seem small in the bigger scheme of things, there are purposes of God from our experiences and we need to be empowered to respond to them. The chapters in this book zoom-in on each of the aspects that make up the salient aspects of family issues to achieve this purpose.