Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch - Donald Rump - ebook

When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortune? No, probably not. Approximately 4,100 words.

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© 2018 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Image(s) licensed by and © Piotr Stryjewski (#44105603). Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Donald Rump



Chapter 1: Fowl

Chapter 2: Chicken Puggsley

Chapter 3: Outgunned

Chapter 4: All Good

Chapter 5: The Good Life

Chapter 6: Paradise Unraveled

Chapter 7: Taco Hell

My Two Cents

Product Description

About the Author

Ad 1: Till Death Do Us Fart

Ad 2: 20 Common Questions About Farts

Chapter 1: Fowl

Ever had an egg? If you’re an old fart like me with all this extra blubbery fat oozing off the sides and XXXL derriere, then of course you have! But have ever cracked one open, only to find that there’s no yolk inside, just the smell of a would be chicken, the ghost of chicken past, wrapped up into one incredibly stinky orb of air?

I’m sure all of us have had this weird phenomenon happen at least once in our lives. You got all of the smell but none of the chicken! And for some reason, the smell is that much harder to get rid of, prompting you to toss out your garbage a day early.

But even that’s not sufficient, is it?

Why does this sort of thing happen? Despite what you might think, you really did get your chicken. Was the eggshell half empty or half full? It was completely empty, or so you thought. Yet the chicken fart lived on in ways your wee brain couldn’t comprehend. What’s going on here?

Well, the chicken, in fact, is real. Its body, however, is in another place--another dimension!