Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch - Donald Rump - ebook
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When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortune? No, probably not. Approximately 4,100 words.

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Liczba stron: 27

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Also by Donald Rump

20 Common Questions About Farts

A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve (Episode 1)

Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date

Bottling Farts (English, Spanish, Italian)

Bottling Farts, Inc. Season 1 (Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Captive Audience

Crazy Authors Volume 1

Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch

Finding Floofy (English, Spanish)

Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks is a Bad Idea

Floofed at 40,000 Feet

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 1 (English, Spanish)

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 (English, Spanish)

Gastrointestinal Blues

Going Dutch (English, Spanish)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay

Marriage Stinks (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

The $500 Question (English, Spanish)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (English, Spanish)

The Would Be Asstronaut (English, Spanish)

Till Death Do Us Fart (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Weekend Getaway (English, Spanish)

© 2018 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Image(s) licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Piotr Stryjewski (#44105603). Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Donald Rump

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter 1: Fowl

Chapter 2: Chicken Puggsley

Chapter 3: Outgunned

Chapter 4: All Good

Chapter 5: The Good Life

Chapter 6: Paradise Unraveled

Chapter 7: Taco Hell

My Two Cents

Product Description

About the Author

Ad 1: Till Death Do Us Fart

Ad 2: 20 Common Questions About Farts

Chapter 1: Fowl

Ever had an egg? If you’re an old fart like me with all this extra blubbery fat oozing off the sides and XXXL derriere, then of course you have! But have ever cracked one open, only to find that there’s no yolk inside, just the smell of a would be chicken, the ghost of chicken past, wrapped up into one incredibly stinky orb of air?

I’m sure all of us have had this weird phenomenon happen at least once in our lives. You got all of the smell but none of the chicken! And for some reason, the smell is that much harder to get rid of, prompting you to toss out your garbage a day early.

But even that’s not sufficient, is it?

Why does this sort of thing happen? Despite what you might think, you really did get your chicken. Was the eggshell half empty or half full? It was completely empty, or so you thought. Yet the chicken fart lived on in ways your wee brain couldn’t comprehend. What’s going on here?

Well, the chicken, in fact, is real. Its body, however, is in another place--another dimension!