COMING. A guidebook for a modern woman and a real man - Peter Shadow - ebook

COMING is a book about ... reaching a goal, the importance of sex and orgasm. The reader will find there the description of sexual positions, techniques, types of orgasms and instrumental approach to the sexual act. The author emphasizes the GOAL as the fulfillment. The readers are taken on the journey which aims at moving to a different dimension and returning from it enables them to look at the world from a new perspective.
The publication is the result of numerous conversations with people from which emerges the picture of a lack of understanding, acceptance, need of the artificial accuracy exerted by the environment, education and culture. The author encourages you to give up these restrictions, which may be the first step to self - acceptance and achieving the happiness.



“At the moment of manhood crisis it is important to go back to the origins. To the place where real men can look for the models. To let them be not only physical men but also spiritual ones. What does a real man stand for? In general it means caring for others, being responsible for your own choices, it is also an attitude when the whole is more important than the individual and at last it is seeing the meaning of your own living in the coexistence.

“Coming” by Peter Shadow step by step shows how to become a real man in the area of sexuality. It is also inspirational for women as it makes them sensitive to spiritual experiences and inner needs of becoming together in order to get the whole. Every man after reaching the whole will strive to get it all the time and the crisis of manhood will just be a distant memory.

I highly recommend. It is really a good book.

Philip Zimbardo”


Peter Shadow – a doctor, psychology is his hobby, he completed postgraduate studies in psychology. Husband and father of two children.

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© Copyright by Wydawnictwo Poligraf, 2016

© Copyright by Peter Shadow, 2016



All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.


Cover design: Dorota Sitnik

Layout and design of Text and Illustrations: Dorota Sitnik

EPUB/MOBI conversion:



ISBN: 978-83-7856-975-6



Wydawnictwo Poligraf

ul. Młyńska 38

55-093 Brzezia Łąka


tel./fax +48 (71) 315-39-13











For my wife Dag



Types of female orgasms

Male orgasms

Women desires and needs

Man desires and needs

Foreplay related to the mind


Subconscious partner selection

Childhood demons

What is promiscuity for?

Who do you argue with, who you make love to?


The End


How are you? Are you wondering why I started this way? How do you think? Yes! – in order to shorten the distance between us. I want to tell you something, which is extremely important for me and at the same time quite trivial. It is a kind of micro correction that will result in a great change in your life. You will start to experience the world in a different way. But not through the rose-tinted spectacles. You will take off the dark spectacles that you have decided to wear so far.

COMING… to a conclusion – let’s start :).

Personally, I believe sex is very important. Although deep inside I feel it is meaningless. Yes, that is what I mean – SEX IS HOLLOW! So what is the point of writing a book about coming? You can think it is about achieving an orgasm. Yes, I used to think this way myself. That is also a common belief – an orgasm is the most important issue, a real man makes a woman come first and then come himself. And the egomale takes care to reach an orgasm without thinking about his partner. However, even the egoist sometimes asks the girl if she has come yet. Concerning yourself as a perfect lover and being perceived as such by others is crucial. The picture of an awesome lover is a wonderful thing to have. „My girl orgasms every time I have sex with her” – he boasts.

But why do women admit to fake orgasms? Because it is generally thought that orgasm is the sex goal. But I say – NO! ORGASM is not A GOAL but a WAY to approach THE GOAL. If an orgasm was a goal, why would women feel such unusual sensations reaching multiple orgasms, durable ones, changing in time, from the G-spot, clitoral orgasm, squirt or from A-spot? Why would these orgasms vary in intensity? An orgasm is a way, a third gate, as Kamasutra describes A-spot orgasms to move into another dimension. And what is out there? This you will know yourself. Hence a man can just join you on this trip and you can tell him about yours … well. You will know yourself what you have felt, seen and experienced.

And here again we come to talk about sex. It is like a vehicle which will take you there. However, if you don’t know where to go you can never reach the point, even using the best car – you will just look around and nothing more. That is why I think that sex itself is hollow. It is necessary though and it can be marvellous when it takes you to the other side of a rainbow as a spiritual being, letting you come back slightly floating and reentering a reality afterwards. But after your return this reality will be more beautiful than ever. And this is my aim – I want you to see how wonderful life is and I want you to share it with another person. Let them see it as well. And may the quarells about washing up finish at last :).

Sex and the positions, techniques, instrumental attitude seem to be like a motorcycle, a car, a bus, a train or a plane. There is also a spacecraft and some more means of transport. It is up to you if you go by one or change during the journey, if you decide to drive yourself or if you let someone else to drive. You will make a decision how fast to come to the destination (perhaps you start work in 15 minutes and you need a jet engine flight or you don’t hurry and choose a transatlantic journey).

In this book you will find descriptions of positions, orgasms and instrumental attitude but at the same time I emphasize THE GOAL (in the book I will use capital letter spelling for this word). Your satisfaction along with fulfilment is THE GOAL. Would you join me on this journey? Regardless of your decision, you will cross the final gate on your own. This point is just for women – men are not allowed there. If you agree, please feel invited.

And one more thing. Everything I have written comes from the bottom of my heart and it is based on my personal experience. Otherwise, it would be useless to write even the introduction of this book. I stay calm and relaxed because I feel that my intentions will emerge from the text and it will enable you to touch my thoughts and emotions entwined with my feelings. I wish it would happen so.


The key to experience the orgasms and understand their character is hidden in a single sentence: the less you think, the more you feel. There are the following orgasms:

a) single orgasms

– clitoral orgasm

– vaginal orgasm from G-spot

– vaginal orgasm from A-spot

– ejaculation orgasm – squirt

– brain orgasm

b) multiple orgasms

c) interchangeable orgasms

d) simultaneous orgasms.


Clitoral orgasm

It is a kind of orgasm which is the easiest to reach. Coming to it, you can still think a little and control it a bit. This is similar to switching on and off the light. Tick – tick. It releases the tension, relaxes, it quenches the thirst like putting some water over your mouth while being on the desert. Sometimes labia cover the clitoris. The labia majora are on the outer side, closer to the thighs. Generally they are thicker. The labia minora are placed inside, they are close to one another. The labia minora are usually more extensive than the labia majora. Then they can cover the clitoris, or rather the head of it, making this kind of orgasm harder to reach. As regards labia, I have come across such unfavourable females’ opinions: one of my labia is longer, both of them are too big or too small and that reminds me of men talking about whose penis is bigger.


Vaginal orgasm from G-spot

This kind of orgasm is also easily reachable. This spot or rather the area is situated within the upper part of vagina. You can feel it when you lie on your back, resting your right palm against the pubic arch, cover the clitoris, put your middle and ring fingers into your vagina and straighten the pointing and small fingers against your thighs and pull the inside fingers up. The vaginal folds are thick and slightly sensitive to touch. You can try to press them harder. What you feel most is the pressure. A pain can occur if your nails are not clipped. Try to move your fingers forward and backward and you will feel where the folds start and finish. It is a personal trait like the size of your nose. Everyone has a different nose and the same with the folds – every woman’s vaginal folds vary. Within this area G-spot is located. You can try to touch the very spot testing in which moment you feel the biggest pleasure. G-spot is so small that you can feel it with the fingertip. G-spot orgasm is deeper. The sensations last longer. I have heard it resembles the landing spaceship, lightening the surroundings up. Even after its flying off, you remain blinded. But it is just the beginning.


Vaginal orgasm from A-spot

If you remain in the position described before and you have short fingernails you can feel your A-spot on your own. In Kamasutra it is called the third gate. It will be easier if you sit and insert your pointing and middle fingers into your vagina at the same time folding ring and small fingers. You already know where the vaginal folds are. Move your fingertips deeper into your vagina till you reach the cervix. It is a mount of an average coin size with a cavity in the middle. Depending on your menstrual cycle this mount will be more or less protruding. Move your fingertip from the cavity of the cervix to the middle and up as if you wanted to pop the finger through your stomach. Exactly in this area A-spot is located. The problem is you can’t feel it with your fingertip, but reading your body signals you will know where it is. Orgasm from this spot is like plunging into the light. You will experience a body rippling orgasm provided you commit yourself to feeling not thinking. To get this sensation you need to feel safe and free. For this you need a partner for whom you are a whole world at this very moment. You need to surrender completely.


Orgasm with ejaculation - squirt