Wydawca: Kitabu Kategoria: Obyczajowe i romanse Język: angielski Rok wydania: 2012

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. ebook

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Opis ebooka Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. - AA. VV.

Have fun with a collection of more than 1000 Chuck Norris' facts. Volume 2

Opinie o ebooku Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. - AA. VV.

Fragment ebooka Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. - AA. VV.

CHUCK NORRIS IS THE REASON WHY WALDO IS HIDING.

ISBN 978-88-67440-92-4

Series: RADICI

© 2014 KITABU S.r.l.s.

Via Cesare Cesariano 7 - 20154 Milano

Thank you for choosing to read one of ours books.

We wish you a good reading.

The real reason that Budd Dwyer killed himself was because he owed Chuck Norris 48 dollars. Chuck doesn't care how much or how little you owe him, or whether or not you can pay it back; he's still going to eat you.

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Whenever Chuck Norris needs a new pair of boots he just goes out and kicks through a cow.

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Chuck Norris uses the mouth of a live shark to masturbate.

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The real secret to the success of Girls Gone Wild is that Chuck Norris is the camera man.

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Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

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Chuck Norris once sold the schematics to his every-lasting beard, we now know this as the Chia Pet.

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Chuck Norris is the creator of myspace. He made the site just to make a list of everybody that he wants to kill.

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Chuck Norris once met God. God asked him if he would rather live eternally or have His powers. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face and said, "I'm Chuck Norris, I am God."

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris and a pair of cowboy boots? A roundhouse kick to the forehead... don't ever cross Chuck Norris.

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Zeus came from Chuck Norris' head.

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Chuck Norris is the only human being who can be seen from outer space.

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Chuck Norris has the strength of ten men, if each of those them men had the strength of a bear.

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Chuck Norris once went on a space expedition on foot.

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Chuck Norris' evil twin was known as Stalin. When confronted by his less communist twin, Stalin became angry and attempted to lead his troops to slaughter Chuck Norris. The fall of communism soon resulted.

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Walker Texas Ranger's black partner is actually the result of Chuck eating too many BBQ ribs and taking a giant dump in a puddle of radioactive waste.

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Chuck Norris can down a whole bottle of Busch without once making a bitter beer face.

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he then spent the next 4.5 Billion years creating Chuck Norris. Since then God has spent 66 years living in fear of Chuck Norris.

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If meteorologists really want to predict where tornadoes will form, all they have to do is follow Chuck Norris around and watch for roundhouse kicks.

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Chuck Norris once sneezed on a woman at the bank and got her pregnant.

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When God sneezes, his pal Jesus quickly replies with, "Chuck Norris bless you."

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Chuck Norris mixes Dayquil and Nyquil.

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When Chuck Norris plays Pac-Man all the ghosts huddle in the corner and wait for death.

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Leap year was invented as a way to celebrate Chuck Norris' superior jumping abilities. But being the humble soul he is, Chuck Norris asked that we only celebrate once every 4 years.

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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Chuck Norris was just an actor.

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If you look closely enough in the opening cut scene of Halo, you can see Chuck Norris still sleeping in one of the tubes. He was the original "Hushed Casket" but since he refused to wake up, they had to wake Master Chief, their plan "B".

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Chuck Norris' blood is 50% arsenic. The other half is the cure for AIDS.

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Chuck Norris wanted to "taste the rainbow," so he ate Toucan Sam.

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Chuck Norris consumed two kegs of beer at one sitting. It took him longer to float the beer during keg stand than it did to eat the aluminium shell.

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Chuck Norris once made an appearance on "Emeril". When Chuck said "Bam!," Emeril's head exploded and a pregnant woman in the audience gave birth. Undeterred, Chuck finished the show by preparing roast Emeril with a raspberry glaze and a side of baby.

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When Chuck Norris was interviewed by local papers as to why he saved the baby from the fire he replied, "I was hungry."

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Chuck Norris raped Tony Danza and Bruce Springsteen simultaneously one day just to make them aware that Chuck Norris is the fucking boss.

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Chuck Norris has a third testicle. He cut it off himself, shaved it, and threw it into the ocean. It's now commonly known as the continent of Australia.

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Recently, Chuck Norris demanded an absolute bug-free version of the upcoming Windows Vienna 2009. Five minutes later Bill Gates announced that he would move to a part-time role with Microsoft in July 2008.

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Chuck Norris is the only person in existence to get three thumbs up from Roger Ebert.

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Chuck Norris is the major cause of death amongst males between 20 and 60 years old.

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Major League baseball is retiring all of the digits in Chuck Norris's Social Security number to honour his achievements.

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Prince initially called "When Doves Cry" "When Chuck Cries." After several Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the sternum, he changed not only the title of the song, but his name as well.

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There is no problem of overpopulation on Earth, cause we all know the solution is Chuck Norris.

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Legend has it that the devil sold his soul to Chuck Norris, but actually Chuck Norris took the devil's soul. Nobody sells Chuck Norris shit.

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Chuck Norris drives around in a Mazda Miata just to find gay guys to roundhouse kick.

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Chuck Norris' Sprint cell phone has a different song for every occasion he roundhouse kicks someone to death.

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My wife and I decided to name our son Chuck Norris. My wife is still in a coma, and I am learning to walk again.

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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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Chuck Norris wanted to be the "voice of God" in the movie "Dogma", but Ben Affleck locked him in a bathroom at a Denny's on the day of the recording session. In retaliation, Chuck introduced Ben to Jennifer Lopez.

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When people are dying, they are told not to go to the light because Chuck Norris is there waiting to kill them.

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Chuck Norris thinks bathrooms are a waste of time. He'd rather shit all over the floor and get it over with.

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Chuck Norris can out-fart Terrence and Philip.

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Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to be roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris eats Viagra only so that he can have an extra loaded weapon on him at all times.

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Chuck Norris shot at 50 Cent 9 times, but didn't finish him because he wanted to do it with a roundhouse kick to the face. But 50 Cent ran in horror.

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If you ever come across Chuck Norris in the wild, just play dead until he is long gone. Although chances are that he'll know what you're doing because Chuck Norris knows everything.

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Chuck Norris tops his roast baby with puppy flakes and ground kitten.

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Chuck Norris used to work for the Make a Wish Foundation. We all know where this one is going.

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Chuck Norris doesn't use weapons because Chuck Norris is the ultimate weapon.

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Chuck Norris gives his wife a heart every Valentine's day. It is always special because he rips it out of someone's chest himself.

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Chuck Norris recently boiled someone in oil. When asked why, he said, "You just don't see anyone do that kind of shit anymore." Then he reached into the boiling oil, claiming his fries were done.

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Chuck Norris is not just God's gift to women; he is God's gift to man, woman and beast.

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Chuck Norris is the reason Jack is in a box.

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The song "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls is actually about a former band member killed by Chuck Norris. Naturally, he "couldn't get away".

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Chuck Norris is his nightmare's worse nightmare.

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During biological warfare, deadly pathogens wear Chuck Norris masks.

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Every time someone Googles Chuck Norris a puppy's head gets smashed by a sledge hammer.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wear pants, instead he opted to have the design tattooed onto his lower body. Thus giving the skin tight look everybody loves, without hindering the successful completion of his roundhouse kick. Also, His belt buckle is a piercing.

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Sega made an arcade game once where you fought Chuck Norris. Every time you put a quarter in, the screen immediately displayed "You Lose". It was Sega's most popular machine ever.

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If every woman in the world had met Chuck Norris, there would be no lesbians or virgins.

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Chuck Norris has his own private fishing hole, and he kills anyone who enters it. We call this spot the Bermuda Triangle.

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When a reporter asked Chuck about his the decision to shave his beard, Chuck replied, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." He then laughed a little bit, realizing that he was going to kill the reporter anyway.

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The Louvre gave Chuck Norris the Mona Lisa as part of his free fun pack.

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If Chuck Norris sees his shadow on Groundhog Day, another species goes extinct.

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Napoleon had a Chuck Norris Complex.

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Bill Clinton didn't sleep with that woman. Chuck Norris did. But hey, someone had to take the blame.

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When Chuck Norris duped his girlfriend, he did it with a cold heart. His heart was so cold, in fact, that it registered at -3 degrees Kelvin, causing her, and all matter within shouting distance, to cease to exist.

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Chuck Norris is banging the hot girl on the internet ad at the top of this page right now.

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Gary Coleman use to be 7 foot 2 inches...until he met Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris invented cancer, AIDS, Avian flu and SARS because he likes competition.

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Chuck Norris paints his house red by throwing new born babies against the walls.

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Chuck Norris requires only one roundhouse kick to reach the centre of a Tootsie Pop.

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Many believe that Michael Jackson is the common molester. However Michael Jackson did not molest Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris molested Michael Jackson

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MySpace was invented by Chuck Norris as a way of easily identifying all of your friends so that he can kill them immediately following your own death at the hands of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris then edits your account to display pictures of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris knows how to pronounce Cthulhu. However, if he says Cthulhu in the correct pronunciation, several Turkmenistanian virgins will be sacrificed to Loki.

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Chuck Norris has perfected faster-than-light travel. He won't give the patent to NASA until all of their employees grow beards.

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When Chuck Norris rubs his feet on the carpet and shocks someone, lightning comes out of his finger.

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Chuck Norris framed Roger Rabbit.

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Chuck Norris graduated from Harvard in 1962 with a degree in "Kicking The Shit Out Of The Dean's Mother."

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Chuck Norris is actually the undefeated champion of the popular Japanese television show, "Iron Chef". His secret ingredient: love.

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Chuck Norris is the self-declared King of the Universe. Anyone who questions this should be prepared to be sodomized with a spiked baseball bat.

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Chuck Norris can handle the truth.

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Chuck Norris proposed to his wife by spelling out "Will you marry me?" in semen. Needless to say, she said yes.

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The Great Wall of China is one of the few things on earth that can be seen from space because of its sheer size. Chuck Norris' dick can actually be touched from space because it's just that much bigger.

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Chuck Norris carries a dozen cans of tuna on him at all times. Just in case.

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There's strong... Then, there's army strong. Then, there's Chuck Norris.

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Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

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We didn't find Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq because Chuck Norris ate them as part of his Jenny Craig diet.

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The adjectives "invincible", "unstoppable", and "Godly" came into wide usage the very year of Chuck Norris' birth.

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Chuck Norris has nine hundred million "friends" on MySpace. All of them are too scared to remove him from their profile.

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God wanted ten days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him seven.

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Chuck Norris's poop is used as currency in Argentina.

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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so fast that they actually grew younger.

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You don't have to be Chuck Norris to throw a dog through a boy, but it sure does help.

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California road kill is actually the result of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking a possum in China.

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Every time Chuck Norris bites into an onion, the Dali Lama cries.

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Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

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Every time someone masturbates, God kills a cat. Every time Chuck Norris masturbates, Chuck kills God.

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Chuck Norris in fact won the Madden 2005 National Competition by default after all his competitors mysteriously withdrew from the competition with roundhouse to the face related injuries.

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The middle East raised gas prices because Walker Texas Ranger does not play in the middle East.

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Chuck Norris is available for weddings and honeymoons. But only if he gets to fuck the bride.

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