Wydawca: Kitabu Kategoria: Obyczajowe i romanse Język: angielski Rok wydania: 2012

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Zabezpieczenie: watermark

Opis ebooka Chuck Norris can speak braile. - AA. VV.

Have fun with a collection of more than 1000 Chuck Norris' facts. Volume 6

Opinie o ebooku Chuck Norris can speak braile. - AA. VV.

Fragment ebooka Chuck Norris can speak braile. - AA. VV.

CHUCK NORRIS CAN SPEAK BRAILE.

ISBN 978-88-67440-96-2

Series: RADICI

© 2014 KITABU S.r.l.s.

Via Cesare Cesariano 7 - 20154 Milano

Thank you for choosing to read one of ours books.

We wish you a good reading.

Walker Texas Ranger recently won an Emmy even though new episodes haven't been produced in years. Chuck Norris likes re-runs.

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Chuck Norris once ran over a little girl's bike and laughed for three days. Sadly, the little girl was still on her bike.

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Women never say no to Chuck Norris. Even if they don't want to, they know its eventually going to happen.

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According to legend, Chuck Norris once played a game of Battleship against the U.S. government. It is unclear which side proposed the challenge, but Pearl Harbour has never been the same.

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Once, Chuck Norris sneezed in the direction of a wind generator farm, providing California with 100 years of electricity.

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Samuel Jackson calls Chuck Norris, "My nigga."

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When Chuck Norris wants a back massage, he lays down on railroad tracks.

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Shaking Chuck Norris' hand can be harmful to your health. Just ask Christopher Reeve.

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Tiger Woods challenged Chuck Norris to a long drive contest. Tiger's ball went 356 yards, Chuck's ball exploded on impact with the club, killing thousands.

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In a grassy knoll in Dallas one day, Chuck Norris decided to flash a parade. JFK's head exploded at the sight of his dick, and the world has never been the same.

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Chuck Norris rescued over thirteen infants from Charity Hospital following the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. He did not have a boat. He has not returned the babies.

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When Moses parted the Red Sea, Chuck Norris closed it back up and said, "Not on my time."

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The Beatles were the result of Chuck Norris' 4th grade science project.

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Chuck Norris owns a custom belt sander with three settings: Low, High, and Shave.

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Chuck Norris believes corporal punishment has no place in our schools. He believes capital punishment would be more effective.

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Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Unless they are Chuck Norris', then they will throw sticks and stones at you.

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It is well known that Chuck Norris weight lifts a lot, but it is not well known that he refuses to weight lift unless he is skydiving from 45,000 feet, without a parachute.

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When Chuck Norris yells loudly, Welch's Grape Juice leaks from his rectum.

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The Lock Ness monster is only seen when it is looking out for Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris has won placing bets on the Super Bowl every year for the last 40 years. Not because he successfully picked the winning team each year, but because the bookies are too scared to tell him he was wrong.

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The Bhagavad Gita originally included, "I am become Chuck Norris" but scholars changed it to "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" because Eastern religion is supposed to be peaceful.

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Chuck Norris has a stare that turns goat piss into gasoline.

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While serving in Vietnam one Christmas, Chuck Norris mistakenly shot the Grinch and napalmed Who-ville.

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Each year, Chuck Norris brings gifts to people across the world as compensation for killing one of their loved ones. We know this day as Christmas.

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Chuck Norris successfully mated a graham cracker with a knife.

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When Chuck Norris eats grapes, he pisses out well-aged wine.

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MacGyver attended the Chuck Norris School of Resourcefulness.

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The atomic bomb was filled with Chuck Norris' sperm .

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Chuck Norris' sperm is so virile that it travelled back in time and impregnated his mother. Only Chuck Norris could father Chuck Norris.

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In Counter Strike, Chuck Norris runs faster with the Machine Gun than you run with the knife. On a similar note, he never fails to get headshots.

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Chuck Norris once ripped a man in half just to see what he had for lunch.

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For every hour a plane ride takes, Chuck Norris can get to the destination in that many steps.

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Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.

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You know why people win the lottery? Because Chuck Norris once gave them the thumbs-up sign.

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They now celebrate that fact with a year long festival every 6 months.

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Chuck Norris invented the spork. He then killed Colonel Sanders with it.

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Chuck Norris feels no attraction to men or women, only to hyper intelligent shades of blue.

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While you may be able to kill 2 birds with one stone, Chuck Norris can kill 475.

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Soccer superstar David Beckham can juggle a soccer ball for hours at a time. Chuck Norris can juggle David Beckham even longer.

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Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover. In fact he judges every book by its cover and is right about every one of them.

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The character Superman is loosely based on Chuck Norris. Loosely only because Superman has a weakness.

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Only once has Chuck Norris performed a poor roundhouse kick. He punished himself by roundhouse kicking himself in the throat... It was his best ever.

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Chuck Norris has a mechanical efficiency of 128.

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Chuck Norris gets his eggs sunny on both sides- one side with a yolk and the other side with a fully developed chick glued to it.

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Chuck Norris gave West Nile Virus AIDS.

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James Bond may only live twice, but Chuck Norris lives forever

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What the Beatles don't want you to know is that Chuck Norris' beard alone recorded "Revolution #9".

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When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was 10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

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To get high, Chuck Norris snorts human blood.

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The hulk only changes back to Bruce Banner because he wants to hide from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can kill computer viruses with his bare hands.

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Chuck Norris was the secret briefcase item in Pulp Fiction.

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It is a myth that Cher and cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust. Only Chuck Norris' beard can.

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Chuck Norris won the triple crown last year for the first time since 1978. He needed no horse.

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Chuck Norris gives the death a wedgies everyday at two O'clock.

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Chuck Norris does not bake, the bread rises on his presence.

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Chuck Norris won a game of "Simon Says" against Simon.

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Iraq didn't really have weapons of mass destruction, Chuck Norris was just visiting for a week while on vacation.

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Chuck Norris goes shark fishing every week. He just rolls around in blood and then goes surfing.

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Chuck Norris started the fire then blamed it on Billy Joel.

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On an average day 73 percent of the time Chuck Norris's spit is O Negative

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On the eighth day, God said, "Let there be Chuck Norris.", but put him into cryogenic sleep after he roundhouse kicked twelve Adams to death.

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Chuck Norris found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq by looking in a mirror.

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Chuck Norris will be cloned in the 31st Century and defeat the invading aliens by playing the theme from "Walker, Texas Ranger" on the largest sound system the resistance can find.

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In bowling, 3 strikes in a row is called a "turkey". 716 strikes in a row is called a "Chuck Norris".

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Chuck Norris can uncremate dead people. Then he re-cremates them while alive.

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If the cliché "You are what you eat" is true, then Chuck Norris is a bitchinbitchin' combination of monster truck tires, Godzilla, and magma from the earth's most active volcanoes.

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Chuck Norris sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good or be prepared to have your face demolished by a roundhouse kick.

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All techno music is based on the different beats of Chuck Norris's heart.

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When Chuck Norris wants to separate an egg, he simply tells the yolk to fuck off.

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Chuck Norris is the Gandhi of violence.

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Hyenas laugh at how vainly humans try to survive in a world with Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger by pointing at it and yelling, "Bang!"

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Chuck Norris has never failed and Chuck Norris has never died. Chuck Norris has committed suicide.

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The Easter Bunny used to be real until Chuck Norris tore its legs off and shoved it down a well in northern Scotland. Chuck Norris' only explanation was that the Easter bunny once sold him some bad weed.

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More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes. More people are killed by Chuck Norris than by donkeys.

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Evil is the root of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris has a choir of angels follow him around and sing his praises because God needed a break.

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There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer because Chuck Norris is always in control.

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If a horse sucked Vin Diesel off, the horse's jaw would explode. However, if a horse sucked Chuck Norris off, the whole horse would shift into an alternate universe where every molecule of the horse would explode with the force of a roundhouse kick.

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Chuck Norris entered an arm wrestling tournament. After killing dozens of contenders, he was matched up against himself and subsequently ripped himself in half.

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Chuck Norris is the best thing before, after, and during sliced bread.

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In the 2nd grade Chuck Norris' teacher quoted Sir Patrick Henry by saying, "Give me liberty or give me death." Chuck Norris gave her death.

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In prep school Chuck Norris was a master debater, because nothing rebuts a roundhouse kick to the face.

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People think snakes have a flexible jaw so they can swallow there prey hole. In reality God made them that say so Chuck could switch to a non-latex condom if he wanted to.

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Chuck Norris had only one son. He is the Green Power Ranger.

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Even though Chuck Norris can cure cancer, he refuses to do so because he feels it would promote laziness and turn people into pansies.

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On the 6th day, God created Chuck Norris. On the 7th day, God rested. On the 8th day, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God and took over.

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Mr. T and Chuck Norris are friends. They play poker every second Friday. In their deck, the black kings are pictures of Mr. T and the red kings are pictures of Chuck Norris. All the queens, red and black, are pictures of Vin Diesel.

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Chuck Norris never reads menus when eating at a restaurant. Whatever he orders, they better make it.

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In the film, Dodgeball, there's a scene that was cut from the movie where Chuck Norris jumps from the stands, tears off Vince Vaughn's head, and uses it as a Dodgeball to beat Ben Stiller for the win.

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When Chuck Norris tells an opponent to "eat shit and die", he puts his ass on the opponent's mouth, takes a massive shit, and the victim explodes in a blaze of glory - and feces, of course.

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Chuck Norris' favourite colour is cold blood.

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Chuck Norris is immortal because God banned him from dying. Last time in heaven Chuck Norris scared the living shit out of the Holy Spirit.

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The Ford Motor Company is recently changing the standard Horse Power in favour of Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks. So a supercharged Mustang, instead of having 360 horsepower, has .14 Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicks.

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Chuck Norris once had a bad case of diarrhoea. The result, Boston, Massachusetts.

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There is no gravity. You're being held down purely by Chuck Norris' animal magnetism.

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When Chuck Norris falls asleep time stops out of fear of waking him up, thus creating the illusion that Chuck never sleeps.

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Chuck Norris loves his pizza like he likes his foetuses; bloody and topped with melted cheese.

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Chuck Norris is like a diaper; it sucks when either hits you in the face.

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Jesus loves you. But unfortunately, Chuck Norris thinks you're an asshole.

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When Chuck Norris goes to the bathroom he craps out perfect dodecahedrons to prove his precision and accuracy in the art of shit taking.

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