Bottling Farts, Inc. - Episode 9: Disillusioned - Donald Rump - ebook

THE F**KING IDIOT . . .Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas.CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . .That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of toxic gas at his disposal. Can anyone stop his evil plot to gas the world?AND GETS F**KED OVER BY A MYSTERIOUS DIPSH*T AGENT . . .By his letter he is known.W.W for Wacky. W for Wicked. W for WTF?!WILL THE INDELIBLE SH*THEAD GET HIS REVENGE?Or is mankind totally f**ked?Disillusioned is the ninth episode of an ongoing serial, created specifically for the Eight Hour Fiction Challenge. Each installment is approximately 3,000-4,000 words.

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Bottling Farts, Inc.

Also by Donald Rump

20 Common Questions About Farts

A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve (Episode 1)

Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date

Bottling Farts (English, Spanish, Italian)

Bottling Farts, Inc. Season 1 (Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Captive Audience

Crazy Authors Volume 1

Finding Floofy (English, Spanish)

Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks is a Bad Idea

Floofed at 40,000 Feet

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 1 (English, Spanish)

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 (English, Spanish)

Gastrointestinal Blues

Going Dutch (English, Spanish)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay

Marriage Stinks (English, Spanish, Dutch)

The $500 Question (English, Spanish)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (English, Spanish)

The Would Be Asstronaut (English, Spanish)

Till Death Do Us Fart (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Weekend Getaway (English, Spanish)

© 2017 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Image(s) licensed by and © Valentyn Pidburtnyi (#40453309). Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

First Edition (v1.0)

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Donald Rump



Episode 9: Disillusioned

My Two Cents

About the Author

Ad 1: Bottling Farts, Inc. Season One

Ad 2: 20 Common Questions About Farts

This book is dedicated to the original creator of the Eight Hour Fiction Challenge, Joe Konrath.

Episode 9: Disillusioned

Vlad Wiechowski, the lovable empty-headed wandering vagrant who once upon a time bottled farts and skyrocketed to success, thought he saw stars. They were beautiful pinpoints of light in fact, sparkling and throbbing with a celestial glow. A bluish-purple haze served as a calming backdrop, moving ever so slightly like distant clouds.

Vlad loved sitting out and watching stars, especially when the birds didn’t poop on his face. Unfortunately he wasn’t always lucky, and occasionally got plastered multiple times before the night was through. He wasn’t sure why they had it in for him, but it all began to make sense now that he was aboard an alien spaceship.

Perhaps they were conducting a test of sorts to see how many bird droppings it took to drive a human insane--kind of like those old Tootsie Roll Lollipop commercials. Who knows? But what Vlad did know, in the limited capacity that his brain understood shapes and patterns, was that those bastard aliens had succeeded on some level, driving him to do the unthinkable and experiment with his own farts.