Bottling Farts, Inc. - Episode 2: Defiled - Donald Rump - ebook

THE F**KING IDIOT . . .Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas.CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . .That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of toxic gas at his disposal. Can anyone stop his evil plot to gas the world?AND GETS F**KED OVER BY A MYSTERIOUS DIPSH*T AGENT . . .By his letter he is known.W.W for Wacky. W for Wicked. W for WTF?!WILL THE INDELIBLE SH*THEAD GET HIS REVENGE?Or is mankind totally f**ked?Defiled is the second episode of an ongoing serial, created specifically for the Eight Hour Fiction Challenge. Each installment is approximately 3,000-4,000 words.

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Bottling Farts, Inc.

Also by Donald Rump

20 Common Questions About Farts

A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve (Episode 1)

Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date

Bottling Farts (English, Spanish, Italian)

Bottling Farts, Inc. Season 1 (Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Captive Audience

Crazy Authors Volume 1

Finding Floofy (English, Spanish)

Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks is a Bad Idea

Floofed at 40,000 Feet

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 1 (English, Spanish)

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 (English, Spanish)

Gastrointestinal Blues

Going Dutch (English, Spanish)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay

Marriage Stinks (English, Spanish, Dutch)

The $500 Question (English, Spanish)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (English, Spanish)

The Would Be Asstronaut (English, Spanish)

Till Death Do Us Fart (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Weekend Getaway (English, Spanish)

© 2014 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Image(s) licensed by and © Valentyn Pidburtnyi (#40453309). Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

First Edition (v1.0)

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Donald Rump



In Our Last Episode...

Episode 2: Defiled

My Two Cents

About the Author

Ad 1: Bottling Farts, Inc. Season One

Ad 2: 20 Common Questions About Farts

This book is dedicated to the original creator of the Eight Hour Fiction Challenge, Joe Konrath.

In Our Last Episode...

“Well fuck me with a ten foot dildo,” said Vlad Wiechowski, everyone’s favorite gas-challenged vagrant.

“Excuse me?” Kenneth Price, HR hiring manager extraordinaire, sat up straight in his chair.

“Oh, right. Can I get a job?” He took a swig of his beer.

“No, you can’t have a job, especially not here.” Ken’s assistant Priscilla put her hands on her hips.

“Right.” Vlad burped. “Well in that case, can I get a blow job?” He polished off his beer. “Not from you, femboy!” He smashed the bottle over Kenneth’s head. “Oh, you think my attitude stinks now? Well, get a load of this!” He farted in his hand and threw it in Priscilla’s face.

Vlad stood there, gazing at the two corpses on the office floor. “Oh, crap. What have I done?” He noticed the two guards approaching. “Do you think that blow job is out of the question now?”

The two guards noticed the bodies, pulled their guns, and fired.

“You mad, bro? Where’s your sense of humor?” Vlad fled the scene to a hail of bullets. “Get out of there!” He pulled Oscar the Grouch from his favorite dumpster and jumped inside. “Why does everything have to be so goddamn complicated around here?” He squeezed off another toxic stinker that shook the dumpster so hard that it caused the lid to slam shut. “No, wait. Aw, fuck!” He pounded on the lid repeatedly, forced to sample his otherworldly stench for all eternity.

Or something like that...

Episode 2: Defiled